Malcolm doesn't think of himself as someone that can sing, but once he realizes that that's what Neal wants, he does give in a sing along, laughing self-consciously part way through when he flubs the words.
Neal grins as Malcolm laughs, carrying the tune on until the other man falls into it again. When the song trails off, Neal rolls over enough to kiss Malcolm before sitting up with a groan. “I think I need coffee before I start getting a caffeine headache.”
"Sit," Neal commands gently. He scoots to the edge of the bed, gently touching Malcolm's cheek as he gets up. "I'm going to make you breakfast, coffee included."
"You can help," Neal agrees. "But you're not okay. So the best way you can help is letting me take care of you right now."
He's not going to argue with having Malcolm there to meet his dad. He wants Malcolm there. He will argue when it comes to the whole 'going back to work' part, but that's for later.
Right now: tiny blueberry pancakes and scrambled eggs.
Neal takes every momentary opportunity that presents itself to come around to Malcolm’s side, giving him a gentle touch here, the brush of a kiss there. Reassurances for both of them as he cooks.
He’s still shaken, himself, over everything.
When he dishes up two tiny pancakes and a wee serving of scrambled eggs, he kisses Malcolm’s forehead. “Don’t force yourself to eat more than you can manage.”
Neal brightens at the request, pleased to have hit on something Malcolm likes. Even more pleased that Malcolm asked for it. He gets the leftovers, depositing them in front of Malcolm with an accompanying kiss. "I can make more, too. It's not hard."
"For another time, I mean." Neal joins Malcolm with his own plate, doling out his own small measure of the condiment. He wants to make sure there's more left for Malcolm if he wants it.
Another time. Other breakfasts. Lots of breakfasts for years to come. His fork pauses in mid air and he looks up, watching Neal for a moment with something like wonder.
“You only have to stay with me,” Malcolm tells him. He studies him for a second. “I think you will,” he concludes, and takes the bite of pancake. He pushes the egg on his plate a little while he chews. “I wonder if your dad’s new information will be more credible than the old information.”
"Absolutely," Neal says, in answer to that second statement. He eats his own breakfast, or starts to, but the mention of his father dulls his appetite a little.
"I don't know," he says quietly. "I want it to be, but I also don't want it to be. I can't sort it out."
"I want to catch whoever hurt Ellen," he murmurs. Neal pokes at the food on his plate, trying to summon up the desire to eat it. "Whoever. Killed her. I want to catch who did it, and I want them to pay."
That's absolutely true.
But.
"I don't know if I want him helping. I don't know if I want it to be done so he'll leave, or if I'm afraid he will. I don't... know what I want from him."
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He looks immediately, guiltily at Neal.
"Just a little dizzy. I'm okay."
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But he sinks down to sit on the edge of the bed because he’s not okay and he probably can’t help.
“I might go back to work.”
He absolutely shouldn’t.
“After we meet with your dad, obviously.”
There is no human way to stop him from coming to that.
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He's not going to argue with having Malcolm there to meet his dad. He wants Malcolm there. He will argue when it comes to the whole 'going back to work' part, but that's for later.
Right now: tiny blueberry pancakes and scrambled eggs.
Also coffee, of course.
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His dream combined with the hallucinations he had while unconscious may have shaken him a bit.
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He’s still shaken, himself, over everything.
When he dishes up two tiny pancakes and a wee serving of scrambled eggs, he kisses Malcolm’s forehead. “Don’t force yourself to eat more than you can manage.”
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"Do you have any of that cream you made before?" Malcolm asks, cutting a bit off of one of the pancakes with the edge of his fork.
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"Oh, this is plenty for me," he says. He takes a bite of pancake with cream and smiles over at Neal. "Still good."
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He takes a little bite of eggs.
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He looks at the cream, then at Malcolm, the reality of it hitting him, too. Again, more softly: "Oh."
Right. The future. That nebulous thing he can still mess up.
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Malcolm watches him, a cream slathered little bite of pancake on his fork, halfway to his mouth.
“It’s an achievement,” he says. “Making the future something… appealing.”
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A pause, then Neal leans over, cupping Malcolm’s face in one hand and kissing him. “Everything I can.”
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"I don't know," he says quietly. "I want it to be, but I also don't want it to be. I can't sort it out."
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He leaves that door open, if Neal wants to try to reason it out.
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That's absolutely true.
But.
"I don't know if I want him helping. I don't know if I want it to be done so he'll leave, or if I'm afraid he will. I don't... know what I want from him."
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