"I didn't like Iris at first," Jedao admits. "We still aren't really close, even though she considers me family."
It's complicated and kind of uncomfortable for him, even though he appreciates - a lot of things about her. Even though he's willing to rely on her for things he needs. Which makes him a typical ungrateful child, he supposes. He pulls a leg up onto the couch, wraps an arm around his own folded knee, a self-protective, uncertain gesture. It makes him look younger.
"I think a lot of people actually find her overwhelming, we're just quieter about it." But she and Eiffel do - connect to people, just by being kind, being earnest, being full of energy and joy, by accepting people where they're at. All of which it's possible to do inauthentically, if you're skilled enough, but they don't.
"I feel like the real me is - cautious, observant, and strategic. I don't need other people to see the real me to be the real me. The real me is a very good liar, when I decide it's necessary. But also...I'm not necessarily being fake, either. It's like I have different facets, and...I'm just picking the right one to start with. Or sometimes I'll act in a way I never have before, but mirroring someone feels like getting to learn a new language. Growing, not faking."
Bantering with Roman had felt like that.
"I like having people I can trust with everything too, but...not because I get to be real with them, just because they're good? Because that's better than always being alone?"
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It's complicated and kind of uncomfortable for him, even though he appreciates - a lot of things about her. Even though he's willing to rely on her for things he needs. Which makes him a typical ungrateful child, he supposes. He pulls a leg up onto the couch, wraps an arm around his own folded knee, a self-protective, uncertain gesture. It makes him look younger.
"I think a lot of people actually find her overwhelming, we're just quieter about it." But she and Eiffel do - connect to people, just by being kind, being earnest, being full of energy and joy, by accepting people where they're at. All of which it's possible to do inauthentically, if you're skilled enough, but they don't.
"I feel like the real me is - cautious, observant, and strategic. I don't need other people to see the real me to be the real me. The real me is a very good liar, when I decide it's necessary. But also...I'm not necessarily being fake, either. It's like I have different facets, and...I'm just picking the right one to start with. Or sometimes I'll act in a way I never have before, but mirroring someone feels like getting to learn a new language. Growing, not faking."
Bantering with Roman had felt like that.
"I like having people I can trust with everything too, but...not because I get to be real with them, just because they're good? Because that's better than always being alone?"