[He knows what's holding him back, practically has it mentally filed in order of each transgression, neat and organized and controlled unlike how he felt in life.] I just...I don't say it out loud. When I do, it makes it more real, and I can't afford to fall apart here. I've had little moments here and there where I've tried, and I panic, have to try and get a hold of myself, and I'm afraid of what's going to happen if I can't regain some kind of control.
Re: TW SA mention
[He knows what's holding him back, practically has it mentally filed in order of each transgression, neat and organized and controlled unlike how he felt in life.] I just...I don't say it out loud. When I do, it makes it more real, and I can't afford to fall apart here. I've had little moments here and there where I've tried, and I panic, have to try and get a hold of myself, and I'm afraid of what's going to happen if I can't regain some kind of control.