The problem is, I think I have forgiven him, at least for participating. I'm here because I was desperate enough to want to leave where I was, at least for a little while, and get something vitally important to me in exchange for a mission. It isn't the same, but there is a parallel.

But the difference between what we were asked to do? Thats...that's where the comparison falls apart.

And I don't know what it would take to fix that. Everything he did, I actively participated in myself, so he's not the only one to blame here. If I had just let myself stop to think for a minute, it wouldn't have been so painful.

I created some of that suffering by trusting him despite everything happening around us. I should have been smarter than that.