[There is that feeling that rises up again at that word, and he can't quite identify it. He isn't sure if it's shame, anger, disgust or simply embarrassment, but it twists up in him and gets his body tense.]
I trusted him because we were assigned together. If we weren't compatible, we were going to die, and he was supposed to watch my back, just like I watched his. I wasn't in love with him.
Yes, I felt stupid that I had ignored it... I defended him to people trying to tell me things he'd done when I wasn't around to see it, and I didn't believe them. It was entirely humiliating, and in the end, when he finally told me why, all I got was some bullshit excuse instead of an apology. As if having a change of heart, finally feeling guilty about what he'd done because he saw me as a person instead of a mission would magically make it all okay.
I thought I might be worth more than that, and I'm not so sure any more. [He takes in a shuttering breath and leans forward, elbows on the counter to press his palms against his eyes. It isn't worth cry over, it's fine.]
Re: TW SA mention
I trusted him because we were assigned together. If we weren't compatible, we were going to die, and he was supposed to watch my back, just like I watched his. I wasn't in love with him.
Yes, I felt stupid that I had ignored it... I defended him to people trying to tell me things he'd done when I wasn't around to see it, and I didn't believe them. It was entirely humiliating, and in the end, when he finally told me why, all I got was some bullshit excuse instead of an apology. As if having a change of heart, finally feeling guilty about what he'd done because he saw me as a person instead of a mission would magically make it all okay.
I thought I might be worth more than that, and I'm not so sure any more. [He takes in a shuttering breath and leans forward, elbows on the counter to press his palms against his eyes. It isn't worth cry over, it's fine.]