“I know you’re not trying to, but…. I just want you to understand: nobody can snap their fingers and fix this for you. It’s not a wound that just… needs a bandage. It needs tended every day. You’ll have to still be tending it when you leave here. We’ll have to talk about this again and again, if you still want to change it. Do you want to change it? You don’t have to. It’s not wrong to hold on to it. But you could lose time with John by holding on to it and he might not want to change how he feels,” Malcolm points out softly.
Edwin shifts, taking one of his more recent preferred shapes in the form of a sugar glider. At least with mind-speech Malcolm can still hear him clearly even as he crawls under the decorative pillow on the chair.
Oh, that's easy. He starts sounding borderline despondent but slowly, slowly starts to cheer up while he talks.
He's funny and smart and good at teaching me things. He's gentle and patient a-and... and he's kinder than I am. He understands more than almost anyone except Jedao, about... about the way I think, and I never feel like I have to act a special way with him, I can just... be, and it helps me figure out who I like being, because I'm not thinking about if I'm doing it right the whole time.
He knows so much about so many things, and he likes doing hobbies together, like teaching me some things about baking better, or painting, or music. I'm learning ukulele and guitar and flute because he encouraged me.
“So… when that stuff all happened… maybe you felt betrayed more because it felt like John was saying you were having a wrong feeling and it was like your safe place was taken away,” Malcolm suggests.
It feels almost right. It feels familiar anyway, what Malcolm describes, but it's not quite that either.
I... I don't know how to explain. It's like... It's like... It's like I just learned that-- that we're not speaking the same... language, when I thought we were. Except I'm the one who learned to say things wrong.
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abrightboy) wrote2030-05-05 08:18 pm
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I don't know. I don't know what I want.
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He's funny and smart and good at teaching me things. He's gentle and patient a-and... and he's kinder than I am. He understands more than almost anyone except Jedao, about... about the way I think, and I never feel like I have to act a special way with him, I can just... be, and it helps me figure out who I like being, because I'm not thinking about if I'm doing it right the whole time.
He knows so much about so many things, and he likes doing hobbies together, like teaching me some things about baking better, or painting, or music. I'm learning ukulele and guitar and flute because he encouraged me.
He is still under the pillow.
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It feels almost right. It feels familiar anyway, what Malcolm describes, but it's not quite that either.
I... I don't know how to explain. It's like... It's like... It's like I just learned that-- that we're not speaking the same... language, when I thought we were. Except I'm the one who learned to say things wrong.
no subject