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[abrightboy]

This is Bright. Leave a message.

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[abrightboy]

…Okay.

[littletonoidea]

Okay.

[Great start.

Except for the immediate and gaping awkward silence.]

...sssssoooo. For what it's worth, I don't... actually hate you?

[abrightboy]

…Oh. …….Well. Thank you. For clarifying that.

[littletonoidea]

...


You know, for two guys that the whole Barge hates listening to 'cos we both sound like we swallowed a whole-ass Wikipedia category page, we're not actually that great at this?

[abrightboy]

In fairness, I don’t actually know what we’re doing. Did you want to discuss something in particular?

[littletonoidea]

...you know what, fair enough.

So Iiiii am... kinda sorta trying to apologise for giving you a hard time before? Mostly about the whole calling you an emotionless robot killer when I was mad at you during the whole Intervention For A Vampire thing?

[abrightboy]

Oh. Well. People... say things in heated moments.

[littletonoidea]

Yeah, well, the thing I said in the heat of the moment was a crappy thing to say. 'cos it looked to me in that moment like you were getting mad that no-one was listening to you and storming off and leaving your buddy to the wolves.

[It's not- trying to be an insult. It's a fairly plain statement, actually, commentary without any real judgement.]

[abrightboy]

There weren’t any wolves that were there for him. He didn’t want me to fuss over him in public. I promised to respect his boundaries. We just talked about it, like… a couple days before?

[littletonoidea]

...okay, exclusive tip from your local communications officer who's really trying to live up to the title--

You know there's a halfway between the full Annie Wilkes and the dad who went out for a pack of cigarettes and never came back, right?

[abrightboy]

Which category did Neal feel it fell under?

[littletonoidea]

You know this isn't like... actually about Neal, right? I'm trying to explain where I came from.

Like, I was figuring you hated me 'cos I went off at you in public and made you look like the bad guy?

[abrightboy]

I know where you were coming from, but I didn't hate you for humiliating me in front of a bunch of other Wardens over it. I hated you because you were wrong in your reasoning for doing it and you never admitted that. And you're still not admitting that. I understand what you thought and why you went off because of what you thought, but what you did was fundamentally wrong because you did it over something you were wrong about.

[littletonoidea]

[Eiffel blinks into space for a moment.]

So you're mad because I was wrong about... something I couldn't possibly know I was wrong about?

[abrightboy]

No, I'm mad because you humiliated me over something you were wrong about and when you found out you were wrong, you didn't even try to make things right.

[littletonoidea]

Okay, progress! I'm the asshole!

[And that's not disparaging, either. Or at least not to Malcolm.]

Look, I... honestly, I don't know if I can apologise for something I didn't know was wrong, at the time. Kinda just feels insincere, 'cos I know me, and even knowing that I probably still would've yelled at you. [Hey, at least he's honest.] But I will say - I am sorry for picking the fight about it in public. That wasn't cool, it was not goddamn professional, and I made things a lot harder for both of us, and Neal.

[abrightboy]

You can’t apologize for saying things about me that were wrong because you didn’t know they were wrong when you said them, even though you found out they were wrong after that and the fact remains that they were both wrong and mean.

[Just to make sure he correctly understands.]

[littletonoidea]

[There's the sound of a cigarette being lit in the background. Mostly it's giving him time to think, but he does want the calming embrace of garbage tobacco as well.]

I'm not sure if me shattering a window you just got replaced means I need to apologise for the old window getting broken in the first place?

[abrightboy]

What are you suggesting is the ‘old window’ in this case?

[littletonoidea]

So I said something that hurt you, sure. I get that. It's not like it's my fault that you were already hurt in that exact way before I went and kicked a soccer ball into it, right?

[abrightboy]

…You believe that what you said wasn’t hurtful on its own? You were aiming for hurtful. You kicked the ball through the window intentionally. How many times it’s been broken doesn’t even matter.

[littletonoidea]

Yeah, but-- wait. Hold on...

[.......



...shit.

Hoisted by his own metaphor. Like the world's dumbest atomic wedgie.]

...oh.

[abrightboy]

Look, I know I’m an easy target. I’m awkward and weird and mentally ill and neurodivergent. I was always an easy target. I was fielding that ball well before anyone ever found out I was an evil nepobaby. That just made it easier to aim and easier to justify. I get it, okay? I understand why I rub people the wrong way. It takes time to get used to me - my mentor used to call me an acquired taste - and if there isn’t time, then it doesn’t happen. I was alone in that room, but I’ve been alone in a lot of rooms full of people. The only surprise was that it surprised me that time and between that and the frustration that Reid had already made his decision before we got there, I just… had a little meltdown and… I just wanted to remove it from everyone’s eyes because it’s not fun losing control of your emotions with everyone staring at you. Believe me, I wish I could be normal and act normal and feel things a normal amount. Maybe if I keep one of my deals down the road, I’ll ask the Admiral to make me less of a headcase.

[littletonoidea]

[Sorry Malcolm - Eiffel is listening, but he's also trying to process what a massive fuck-up he's been towards Malcolm over all this.]

Hey, I was the high-school screw-up too, you know? [But it's soft, solidarity rather than scalding.] I moved to Houston when I was fourteen and nobody liked me, nobody got me - I've been this? My whole life. And it turns out no one likes the guy whose whole personality is just dumb pop culture references.

[Was that the right thing to say? Evil nepobaby sure fucking wasn't.

But if there's one thing Eiffel is good at, especially these days, it's eating his humble pie.]

...I'm sorry, Bright. For being an asshole and for not coming by to apologise earlier when Neal was trying to call me out on it.

[abrightboy]

Thank you. I'm sorry, too. For what I said last time we talked. It was kind of childish to be petty like that.

I'm... surprised. That you struggled that way. I always thought you were really cool. Like. Cool kids cool.