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[abrightboy]

This is Bright. Leave a message.

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[abrightboy]

"Neal was the only person who was there for me that day, you know," Malcolm muses quietly. "I don't normally need rescuing, but... he's a real friend. I've never had someone who would stand up for me like he did. I've never had someone in my life who didn't care about social censure if it meant making it clear that they cared what happened to me," he continues in the same soft, almost wistful tone, looking up from his book. "What you just explained? That's why you quit last time," he adds matter of factly. "That's not why you quit this time. I haven't shouted or gotten emotional. Neal isn't here. And you haven't asked me what I think about whether I've complicated things for Shaw or what was true and not true in what she told a bunch of people about me on a day when I made a deliberate effort to stay out of her way and not complicate her business so, quite frankly, you don't have any idea what I think on the subject. That's Shaw's talking point, though. Malcolm thinks he hasn't done anything wrong and Will is perfect. The Shaw Version. You still haven't heard mine or made any effort to. Still. So... tell me about this 'they' that can't tell me anything. Is this the same legion of people whose lives I make difficult that Shaw talks about but can never name? Who are all these people I'm exhausting by existing? I'm dying to know."

[hippie_ninja]

"Sheehan, for one. But I'm not using her talking point I'm telling you what I've observed when we've talked. You dig your heels in--you're doing it now. I never said you think Will is perfect. You're putting words in my mouth. So why don't you tell me all these things you say I'm not asking about? I'm listening."

[abrightboy]

"I'm putting words in Shaw's mouth. That was Shaw's talking point, is what I said. And she's said it to me, so I guess... technically Shaw put those words in Shaw's mouth," Malcolm corrects. "Anyway. What was the thing you were saying about wishing you heard me out? How can I dig my heels in when I haven't told you my account?"

[hippie_ninja]

"Tell me your account," he says, motioning with a hand, go on.

[abrightboy]

"Are you actually interested?" Malcolm asks sincerely. "Or are you looking for more ammunition?"

[hippie_ninja]

"Malcolm, I don't want ammunition. I'm here because I'm sorry I hurt you--I never meant to."

[abrightboy]

Malcolm looks at him sharply. That wasn't what he was expecting.

"Nobody listened to me," he starts, quietly. "She called a bunch of people I know and told them I was dangerously unstable and she needed someone to intervene and that... wasn't even true. The night before... Will called me and told me Avalon threatened him again. I don't know if you know what Avalon did to him before. They tortured him. So that night I was over at his place - Shaw was there - for... maybe twenty minutes. She wasn't leaving for the night, so I couldn't stay. I admit I was wound up when I arrived, but I sat with Will for a bit and I was calm when I left. Which, by the way, I left when she said it was time for bed. She said it was time to go and I went. She said she was going to be with him 24/7 and she wouldn't say for how long, but she did say she would bring Will over for a movie the next night. So I texted Will briefly in the very early morning when we both usually get up and just made sure he was okay and then I stayed away. I didn't contact either of them all day. But part way through the day... people started contacting me about it. She was telling people that I was trying to be Will's Warden and I've literally never done that. And nobody asked me before they chided me for it. Nobody. Including you. So, yeah. And because she was clearly going so hard on this, I started to get concerned she would stop me from seeing Will. That she might even cancel the arranged visit that evening. And nobody could give me any information about that. They just kept telling me not to do something I didn't even do."

[hippie_ninja]

"She never said you were unstable or that you were dangerous, Malcolm. She told me she couldn't get through to you, and when you're wound up you are very hard to talk to. Is it possible that she, with her lack of emotions, just couldn't communicate clearly with you when you were experiencing so many emotions at once? Because she felt like she wasn't being heard. That's why she reached out. It wasn't to slander you or attack you, it was because she felt she wasn't being understood."

[abrightboy]

"She didn't even try to talk to me, Jesus. She told me some information the night before. I heard it. Hence leaving them alone all day. The next day she talked to other people instead of me. And I've contacted her about it since. Because I don't think anyone here would like someone to go around talking about how difficult and impossible they are on their worst day on the Barge without even talking to them any more than I did," Malcolm points out.

[hippie_ninja]

"How are things with you and her now?"

[abrightboy]

"We were supposed to have a meeting this morning, but she didn't answer my message." He shrugs. "I'm sure we'll connect at some point. She's letting Will stay with me at night, so ironing things out is more about preempting future misunderstandings. Kiryu has agreed to mediate a more... permanent delineation of expectations."

[hippie_ninja]

"He's a good choice for that." He's glad Shaw has Kiryu as a resource.

[abrightboy]

"I didn't know she'd spoken to him before I did until later. But when it came up, he told me," Malcolm says. He considers Jesus a moment. "She said you reached out to her, though. So who told you I was a problem?"

[hippie_ninja]

"No one." He gives him a wry smile. "It's not always about you," he teases. "I reached out to her after Will told me what happened because I assumed she'd be stressed and I wanted to see if I could help somehow."

[abrightboy]

"So Shaw did. It wasn't that nobody told you, it was that you contacted her and then she told you," Malcolm points out. "Because that's the help she was looking for."

[hippie_ninja]

"I guess? But she didn't go looking for me for it, and I didn't contact her because I thought you were trouble."

[abrightboy]

"Semantics. Because she didn't think to look for you. She looked for other people and told them and you showed up and she told you too. It's worse that she didn't call you and still told you my business anyway. How was it anyone's business? I wasn't doing anything," Malcolm points out.

[hippie_ninja]

"You don't think you were doing anything. There's a difference. She was reacting to something, Malcolm, it didn't come out of nothing. You may not realize you were putting pressure on her, but clearly she was feeling it."

[abrightboy]

"Because she has notions about me, many of which are untrue assumptions, but that doesn't warrant jumping all over me just for existing. Or does it?" Malcolm asks.

[hippie_ninja]

"No and that's not what she was doing. Every person in that situation was trying to do right by Will the best they knew how, Malcolm."

[abrightboy]

"So was I, so how am I the bad guy here and everyone else's intentions were noble?" Malcolm asks. "I was in my own cabin, not disturbing her or him. What kind of 'pressure' was I putting on her, exactly, that warranted mobilizing a whole bunch of Wardens against me? If it wasn't in her head, what was it? Point to it."

[hippie_ninja]

"Yes, I meant you, too, Malcolm. Why don't we bring Shaw in and ask her what she experienced?"

[abrightboy]

"I'm already supposed to do that with Will and Kiryu. How many of that meeting do you think I need to have?" Malcolm asks. He holds up a finger. "I'll tell you what: I'll let you know after the Kiryu meeting if we need another one. Or you can ask her. But let's just put this out there: you didn't know and you still don't know what I actually did but you still thought you would call me the day after someone who tortured my boyfriend to death had their hands on him again and use her vague accusations about me to push your break up agenda. Unless you would like to dispute that observation?"

[hippie_ninja]

Wait. What? "My break up agenda?"

[abrightboy]

"You're the only one who suggested we separate. You have already come down on the side of we shouldn't be together to start with. That wasn't in your calculations when you pulled out that suggestion?" Malcolm asks.