"Uh, Avalon doesn't feel anything, so no it isn't. And Will killed Avalon in a preemptive bid to protect himself, which sounds very your world, from what I've heard," Malcolm muses.
“And yet Will feels everything,” Malcolm says. “His feelings, everyone else’s. Sometimes he can’t even tell the two apart. Maybe emotions aren’t the factor in that delineation that you think they are.”
"I feel everything, too. I feel things, Malcolm. I'm not afraid of my feelings, I just don't let them run my decisions. When did you talk to Avalon last?"
Malcolm presses his lips together, then leans back in his chair a bit.
“I wasn’t suggesting you don’t feel things.”
He laces his fingers together, tapping one index finger against the knuckle of the opposite hand beneath it.
“Okay. I saw them the day after they attacked Will the last time. They came to this office for counselling. I told them I was willing to help them, but they couldn’t attack Will anymore. They seemed fine with that then, but then they never came back.”
“That was the last time. Not the only time. And I’m not the only person I know who’s spoken to them. But it wouldn’t really be ethical to go into details I learned in therapy, so that’s all you get,” Malcolm tells him.
He has doubts that anyone on the Barge can't feel anything, but considering what Avalon did to Will it probably makes things much easier to believe they can't. That he's the sort of sick they're used to from their respective homes.
“Elim Rawne. If you want to know how Avalon… perceives, ask Avalon. They went after Will because he has an abundance of emotionality and they lost theirs,” Malcolm replies.
“Certainly. That’s why I offered to help them. But that doesn’t justify torturing people to death. They were warned about that. But they have a weak Warden, so I don’t know if anything will change,” Malcolm observes.
“I usually love chatting about this stuff but…” He studies Jesus for a moment, then gestures between them. “What is it about this that makes me feel like you’re evaluating me?”
"I'm not. No more than I usually am, anyway." People are constantly evaluating each other. "I'm just curious how different people would handle a massive issue like what Avalon presents."
“And we should have all had that discussion already. Kind of twisted that Will’s the only one that’s been punished so far, just for protecting himself. Even more twisted that the only person whose behaviour was brought to a crowdsourcing forum was mine. For caring about that.” He shrugs. “My inmate just had a big problem, right before Avalon happened. Do you think my actual decision on that issue was too emotional?”
"You're softening the reality of what happened with Will. And I understand why you're doing it, but you're not doing him any favors with it. He lost control, Malcolm. It wasn't self defense."
“I didn’t say it was self defence. I said he was protecting himself. There’s a distinction there. And you didn’t answer my question,” Malcolm points out.
“It wasn’t emotional. It was rational and well managed and you don’t want to credit me with that, so you’re deflecting to that,” Malcolm points out. “Guess what: people can be more than one thing.”
"You're changing the subject. I had no problem with how you handled it, Malcolm; remember? And I've never said people are one thing." He's risked his life trying to prove that people contain multitudes. "It's insulting that you're trying to paint me this way just to avoid talking about how you're spinning things to make sure you're somehow the victim."
“I’m not a victim. I asked you a question before you made your insinuations about how I view Will. You didn’t answer, so I asked again. You didn’t answer, so I answered it for you and drew my own conclusions. You had your chance. Now. As for Will. Do I think he lost control? Absolutely. He had an outsized fear response based on how Avalon harmed him before. Is that right? No. Is it understandable? Yes. Should he face more consequences than the provocateur that previously tortured him and promised, this time, to sink a blade in his back? No. Should his Warden be working on other methods for coping with a situation like that? Yes, but she knows that. Does that clarify matters?” Malcolm asks.
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“I wasn’t suggesting you don’t feel things.”
He laces his fingers together, tapping one index finger against the knuckle of the opposite hand beneath it.
“Okay. I saw them the day after they attacked Will the last time. They came to this office for counselling. I told them I was willing to help them, but they couldn’t attack Will anymore. They seemed fine with that then, but then they never came back.”
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"Who's their warden now, do you know?"
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