abrightboy | Voicemail (IC Contact Post) NEW

You’re the one that literally talks about sex all the time, Blitz. And did you know Kikimora stabbed another…. demon…esque creature after you? But okay, I’m gross. Sorry for jumping to wild and apparently disgusting conclusions. What are these brand new ways and how can I help?

If you would SHUT UP for FIVE MINUTES he will TELL YOU.

[this is the angriest she has ever vocally been at her beloved warden!! Blitz help explain, she's still fuming.]

She did? Hah! Nice work, tiny.

[But wait, he's getting distracted.]

Ok so, magic's not really a thing all demons have in the Hell I'm from, and that healing thing seemed pretty useful? Like maybe it'd be good if I could learn it and shit. But I'd need like a wooden thing to do that? Kiki said she'd teach me if we could get one but we'd need a warden to help and since you already know what happened...

Mm. Who is your current Warden right now?

Eiffel. But I didn't snitch on what happened when he found me all bandaged and shit.

Well… you can. Or do you want me to talk to him?

I believe we would rather someone more familiar with magic than science would be useful.

Inmate Blitz is looking for a palisman. Taylor and Hunter have theirs if you wish to specify.

Blitz, do you have an affinity for a certain kind of animal? That would make it easier to bond with them.

I mean, I guess I like horses? Or is that too big?

Palismen are tiny. Yours would be a miniature living horse able to fit in the palm of your hand when in animated form.

[HOLY SHIT.]

[He turns his video on purely to fix Malcolm with the widest puppy eyes imaginable.]

PLEASE?!

If you have an assigned Warden, I can’t request you things behind his back. Plus Eiffel is my friend, so it’d be extra shitty.

Why not? He's probably gonna say no, then what?

But you would be all right with urging us into sex and violence behind his back.

AND it would be beneficial for the both of us! And we wouldn't be getting into trouble with it.

This is also not the first..

[UGH]

friend I have made whose powers I successfully suggested their warden return to them or grant them anew.

First of all, why would Eiffel say no? Second of all, I was guessing that your plan was sex or violence, not suggesting them as a plan.

Because you wardens say no to everything! It's like your favourite fucking word. And you're clearly saying no already too. You just want me to ask so when he says no, you can say it and be like "I can't because he said no".

Guess I'll just go back to being fucking bored as shit and picking fights instead of learning anything.

I told you I’ll ask him for you. But I won’t circumvent him. Also I’m a Harvard educated psychologist but nice try with the high school reverse psychology. I’ll get in touch with Eiffel and call you back.

Malcolm Bright, tell Warden Eiffel if we cannot have violence, we will...

[shit. She searches desperately in her brain for the worst possible outcome]

..have sex.

Edited 2024-03-04 04:03 (UTC)

We're what?!

[Satan's ass he's usually the one making those suggestions and now he's the one looking horrified.]

I thought you just wanted a horse made of magical wood so you could do healing magic.

Exactly! And to bond through violence, which I would rather him heal from himself.

That sounds a lot better than me going through my egg laying phase, doesn’t it?

You lay eggs?!

[Malcolm, you have to approve this. Please, for his sake.]

I thought this wasn’t about sex or violence. I’m going to tell Eiffel the truth.

Of course I lay eggs! Demons lay eggs.

Whatever. Just give the brat his palisman if you wish us to be friendly.

Oh, really?

Yes, really.

Re: Audio

Re: Audio

Re: Audio

Re: Audio

Re: Audio

Re: Audio

Re: Audio

Re: Audio

Re: Audio

Re: Audio

Re: Audio

Re: Audio

Re: Audio

Re: Audio

Re: Audio

Re: Audio

Re: Audio

Re: Audio

Re: Audio

Re: Audio

Re: Audio

Re: Audio

Re: Audio

Re: Audio

Re: Audio