abrightboy | Voicemail (IC Contact Post) NEW

Well, I was going to announce it today or tomorrow to the network. But I'm thinking it'd be better to hold off while we're all hearing voices.

I'm not sure how it'll go, but I'm hoping my perspective will be helpful to some people. Help them process trauma, manage conditions they might be dealing with, maybe help them get back on their feet after...the particularly nasty floods.

[ It helped a great deal, talking over it with Sheehan. It helped cement what he'd like his role to be. ]

That's a good idea. A good niche, I mean. It's the kind of stuff... people don't trust me with. You'll be someone who really knows about trauma psychology that they can go to.

Eh...we'll see about that. But at least there'll be more options available.

[ Not a lot of people trust Will, either. Even if he doesn't immediately rub them the wrong way. ]

Your methods have been really effective for the harder cases, the ones I'd probably write off too early. You got through to Kikimora, after all. You've helped Aaron, Johann, Laura...I am more comfortable in lecture halls, where I don't have to have a dialogue.

[ He's actually nervous about it. Others might not pick up on that, but Malcolm's likely to see the way Will licks his lip and lightly bites it. ]

If that's a bust- or maybe even if it's not- I might pivot to more...outreach. Have a class on modern psychiatry and the conditions we know about, maybe once a month have a 'introduction to the barge' or something.

[Malcolm does see it. He watches his face carefully, even while shifting his weight a little closer and shifting that hand grasping his shirt to slide around his waist instead. He kisses Will gently.]

You know, that could be your role, that you could do out of the counseling office, if you don't want to do the other thing. I mean. If you already don't want to do it. One on one counseling doesn't have to be all the office provides. There are a lot of aspects to mental health and maybe if someone offered welcome to the Barge presentations on a regular basis, new people wouldn't go crazy thinking Zack made them be in custodial or that... I don't know. There are some wild ideas out there. I think... I think that's what's going on with Walter, you know. He wasn't like this when we started talking. This is new.

[ The kiss is appreciated and results in Will giving Malcolm a real hug. It's not often that Will comes across as clingy, but that's usually because Malcolm's higher energy has him reaching out first. ]

I suspect Walter might've started at least some of it on his own. Everything about him seems...performative, at all times. He's crafting a narrative to his liking, but I have no idea why. Whatever it is, he hasn't realized it's counterproductive yet.

[ But that wasn't what they'd been talking about. ]

And I do want to do it...one-on-one counseling. I just don't want to...leave a person worse off. Push too hard, just because that's how every psychiatrist I've ever known does it. Try to trick someone's mind into 'behaving'. I never want anyone to go through the sorts of therapy I have, and it just-

[ He lets out a sigh. ]

I want to help. I know I can help. But what if I slip into old, well-worn personas and make things worse?

You didn’t do that to me. [It’s a simple statement of fact, stated with a soft matter-of-factness.] And boy you could have. I’d do anything for you. You could have twisted me into so many knots, if you wanted to. You not only didn’t, you made it very clear that you chose your approach to helping me with some of my problems specifically to avoid doing that. Even if it would take longer.

[ The way Will's eyes widen make it clear that he didn't expect this argument. He thinks of ways in which it might not be true- he actually cares about Malcolm, for one thing- but discards them for now. They all stem from the same place, a fear that he's disproven. He doesn't want to be subsumed by Hannibal.

He knew Malcolm had always believed in him, but he didn't know how aware Malcolm was about the possibilities. His smile is a little fragile, only because of the depth of the feelings threatening to break through it. ]

Didn't want to give you any extra reasons to regret being with me. ...you're right. I have my own way of doing things.

[ He takes a deep breath and lets it out. ]

Just have to acknowledge the worry and...push through it, probably. The fog today hasn't helped.

You might have some elements of him in you, but you're not him. You don't want to hurt people who are vulnerable and need your help. If anything, the people you want to hurt are the kind that prey on that.

[He snuggles more into the crook of Will's shoulder, lifting his head to lightly nuzzle his cheek.]

I think the fog is meant to be counterproductive. It didn't raise my usual nightmares. It raised the things that this place reminds me of on the worst days. It wants us to be.... weak, for some reason.

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