abrightboy | Voicemail (IC Contact Post) NEW

I...I think it's only natural to want to understand why someone would hurt you, but If I know, I can get some control back.

I can't stop myself thinking about it, questioning why. It's always on the back of my mind, but if I did know, I wouldn't have to, and that would help, at least I'd like to think it would.

Maybe. What do you want the answer to be?

I don't know...

If it was just out of necessity? That would make it palatable, but- [He leans forward a little, resting his forehead against the side of his open hand, staring hard a the counter. The only person he'd specifically told about Cain's involvement in the scar across his lips was Fitz, and while he hated talking about it, it was the thing that he usually got caught up on when he tried to reason his way though Cain's thought process.]

I can't come up with any explanation for why he needed to scar my face. It so permanent, and I know it's one of the first things people see when they look at me, everyone's just too polite to mention it. If he wanted to make sure everyone knew they couldn't talk to me, there are so many other ways...

Maybe it has nothing to do with warning anyone. Maybe he wanted to mark you so when he looks at you, he knows you're his. And when you look at you, you know it too. It's not... uncommon.

[Abel looks up at Malcolm, trying to figure out the best way to say what he wants to say.]

You know, I have a lot of difficulty talking about this, and spend most of my time, thinking about these things in the back of my head while I do anything else. I have come up with so many different possibilities. The ones that I don't like, I try not to entertain much, because what good does it do me?

If I'm going to have to think about it, the ones that hurt less get pushed to the front. I...Don't think what I want right now, is probabilities.

Okay.

[The short response is enough to push Abel forward, because he knows it's another issue he has, and if he can't clarify here? Where else could he.]

Did I do that right? I don't feel like I can ask for things very often. I know how to stand up for myself, but...when it's little things, it's more difficult.

Personal comfort isn't big on my priority list.

I don't know that there's a "right" way to do it, but you set a boundary and I backed off. ...Did I not do that right?

[Abel can't help but laugh, shaking his head. It was like the blind leading the blind.]

I don't know. I think you did fine? At the very least, I wasn't uncomfortable, just nervous by how short you were in response.

I'm used to people pushing more, I suppose. Or not setting boundaries at all. It's a work in progress, but It's necessary, I think. I'm not in service any more, I'm allowed to ask for things...it's just not something I've had many opportunities to do.

I've been told I push too much, so I'm trying to... not.

Do you want to leave it there for today and we can talk again when you're ready?

Well, perhaps we can workshop it. Some people need a push. But it depends on when and where you apply pressure, right? Finding those moments is difficult...but can be necessary.

And I think that's fine with me. I need a shower after that anyways...

I'm trying to err on the side of not accidentally hurting people.

I think we all do that, but being too conscious of it might keep you from saying something someone needs to hear. I don't know...I didn't have friends before I came here, just Cain, but I do know all we can do is our best, so.

Thanks for bearing with me Malcolm. This is uncomfortable, but I'm sure it will be hard until it's not. I can deal with that.

[He gets up, stretching before nodding to the terrarium on the counter.]

That's beautiful by the way, You'll have to give me an animal tour sometime. But I'll leave it for later, let you get back to your day.

Oh. Okay. Yeah, sure. Um, if you come by when Will's dogs are here, there'll be even more animals.

[He stands, but he doesn't think he needs to walk Abel to the door.]

They don't have dogs in space, so I would very much like to meet Will's dogs.

[No animals at all really. His cat had been very necessary once he'd gotten in. A companion to talk to that just listened and loved you? Perfect.]

Have a good rest of your day, Malcolm, I'll see you later.

[And, with a little wave, he'll head out.]

Voicemail (IC Contact Post) NEW

Re: TW SA mention

Re: TW SA mention

Re: TW SA mention

Re: TW SA mention

Re: TW SA mention

Re: TW SA mention

Re: TW SA mention

Re: TW SA mention

Re: TW SA mention

Re: TW SA mention

Re: TW SA mention

Re: TW SA mention

Re: TW SA mention

Re: TW SA mention

Re: TW SA mention