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[abrightboy]

 This is Bright. Leave a message.

Comments

Re: Spam

[stressingwitchface]

I couldn't, but I put the ones who COULD on the right track to defeating him once and for all. I knew there was one creature who could stop the draining spell and conveniently all he needed was a little push to set him free.

I'm sad I won't be around to witness Belos' failure and defeat but at least it's SOMETHING.

Re: Spam

[abrightboy]

You can once you graduate.

Re: Spam

[stressingwitchface]

A fact I am well aware of, thank you. If only my wardens would stop disappearing, falling into comas, or ignoring me.

Re: Spam

[abrightboy]

I won't ignore you. What do you think the Admiral wants you to do?

Re: Spam

[stressingwitchface]

You are not my warden.

I don't KNOW.

Re: Spam

[abrightboy]

I'm a Warden. When you don't have one. Have you considered that maybe your thirst for revenge is impeding your graduation?

Re: Spam

[stressingwitchface]

Have you considered that I don't want you for my warden?

Well done, Warden Bright! I suppose I'll just stop feeling furious and betrayed about the leader of my world murdering me.

Am I graduated now?

Re: Spam

[abrightboy]

Well, I wouldn’t be your Warden, just a back-up. And if that were the criteria… no. You’re clearly still feeling it. Why do you think he did that to you when you’d served him so loyally?

TLV: post-Art Class

[conning]

[Guess who hasn’t been showing up for his therapy sessions it’s THIS GUY, who’s currently out on deck with George on a leash. He never goes near the railing when he has his cat.]

[conning]

He comes around properly at the sound of Malcolm’s voice, meeting the other man’s eyes, sweaty and flushed with his heart still racing.

“Malcolm,” he says, relieved, and rests his face against the other man’s arm. “Had a nightmare.”

[abrightboy]

“No, you didn’t,” Malcolm tells him matter of factly. “That was something else.”

Re: TLV: post-Art Class

[abrightboy]

So… what? New Neal wants a new Warden?

[He was wounded by the comment in class because he thought they were friends and he’d thought Neal would be happy for him. Wasn’t he sleeping with a bunch of people? He never wanted Malcolm; he’d barely known him then. He had a crush on positive attention and kindness. Those aren’t in his voice now. It’s ice. He’s angry. He doesn’t bother with pleasantries; he’s had quite enough of this temper tantrum and he’s determined that’s literally what it is. Acting out because he isn’t getting his way.]

I’ll speak to the Admiral. Anything else we can get you while I’m there?

[conning]

He lifts his head to meet Malcolm’s eyes, his own muzzy with adrenaline and sleepy confusion.

“It felt like a nightmare.”

[conning]

[The sound of Malcolm’s voice, the sound of it like that, sends a bucket of ice down the back of Neal’s shoulders.

He stops, turns, and meets Malcolm’s eyes with a distant neutrality that might be the biggest lie he’s ever tried to tell the other man. He feels like a chasm just opened up in his gut, and the world is falling into it fast enough to make his ears ring.]

Well.

[For a second that’s all he manages. Then, calm and quiet:] That was a lot easier than I thought it would be. Should have known all I needed to do was hit below the belt.

[abrightboy]

Old Neal didn’t treat people that way. That’s why we were friends.

[conning]

A smile starts at that, a humorless, joyless expression that turns into an aborted laugh. He closes his eyes a moment, then focuses his attention back on the other man.

“This is me, Malcolm. I’m who I’ve always been. Tada, I’m an Inmate for a reason.”

[abrightboy]

“No. You’re not the same and you know it. Do you think I can’t tell you’re putting on a face right now? That you have been since I walked up here? That you weren’t wearing a mask when you got ugly in the gazebo. You can be an inmate for a reason and not be ugly inside. Lots of them are,” Malcolm tells him.

[conning]

Lots of them are, Malcolm says. Lots of them.

Neal looks away, his eyes burning, Rebecca’s words in his head.

I love how good you are.

“You remember what you said to me when I came around in my cabin here and I told you the FBI betrayed me, again? When I didn’t even remember you but I trusted you enough to share something that hurt that badly?” He smiles at Malcolm, but it’s not friendly. “‘Oh, that.’ Oh, that, and aren’t I happy that I have the chance to embrace the sweet release of death?”

He looks over Malcolm’s head again, glaring at nothing. “Neal Caffrey, good guy who deserves a good life until he does something you don’t like. You’re exactly like the people who stole my life ten years ago, making promises you don’t plan to deliver on.”

[abrightboy]

“You fully deserve a good life, Neal,” Malcolm tells him, perfectly earnest and matter of fact. “But you don’t show up for our appointments or even talk to me, so I’m not helping you. Someone you will only engage to wound can’t help you. So as much as it pains me, I can recognize you’re not the inmate that I was assigned and I can do what those people wouldn’t: let you go when you say that’s what you want. It’ll be better for you to be with a Warden you’re on speaking terms with and, frankly, it’s better for me, too. I’ve earned more respect than you’re willing to offer me now. I don’t need your abuse and Will sure as hell doesn’t deserve it. If there’s something I can do to help you at some point in the future, I’m happy to do it as a Warden here. I meant it when I said I’ll always be here for you. But I can’t be your Warden if this is how it is now. You’re a grown man. You’re the one who decides how things go for you here. So you think about it. It’s three days until our next scheduled session. If you’re not there, I’ll know what you’ve decided and I’ll go see the Admiral about your transfer to a Warden better suited to facilitate your graduation.”

He turns and starts to head down the deck.

[conning]

Neal watches him go, feeling sick. Feeling trapped and hurt and betrayed all over again.

He doesn’t want Malcolm to give up on him. If Malcolm gives up on him, if it’s really this easy, if someone that kind can turn on him like this, then maybe he doesn’t deserve a second chance. He doesn’t deserve the wish, and he won’t get an offer like that from another Warden.

A part of him considers dropping George’s leash on the deck and walking himself to the rail. Taking the leap and testing the odds of it working this time.

“Fuck you, Bright,” is what he shouts at Malcolm’s back. “Fuck you!”

Therapy…

[conning]

Neal picks the lock on Malcolm’s office to let himself in, but he can’t settle. He left George in his cabin. He studies the shelves along the walls without really absorbing the titles, and turns as soon as Malcolm walks in.

“Ugly inside. Is that what I am now?” He crosses his arms and leans his back against the shelves. “One year, one betrayal too many, and I’m past my expiration date?”

Re: Spam

[stressingwitchface]

I don't need to think about why he did it. I KNOW.

What I don't know is why we are talking about this when it clearly just makes me angrier and angrier. Something I'm sure the Admiral doesn't want.

[pharadyne]

Glad that's agreed.

[He turns serious.]

And I'm glad you're happy.

Do try not to rub it in for the rest of us. [He adds wryly.]

[abrightboy]

“I know,” Malcolm says, stilling without turning around. He doesn’t want Neal to see he’s wounded. “But I can’t do all the work. I can’t pull you back if you decide to jump. You taught me that.”

[abrightboy]

“That’s up to you,” Malcolm tells him, setting his coffee on the desk and sitting in his chair. “So why don’t you tell me when you started resorting to cruelty to keep people at arms’s length and what you think it makes you inside.”

He folds his hands on the desk and looks up at him expectantly.