“I can see you’re frustrated,” Crozier says coolly. “But I know you, Malcolm. I can see how distressed you are, and I’m trying to offer some advice. As for the rest — I don’t know.
“I don’t know any of it. I don’t know how she reacted, I don’t know the details of what happened with Will. I’d appreciate it if you’d quit lumping me in with the battalion of people that Shaw sent your way, because I’m not here for her or to talk reason into you or whatever damn thing you think is going on.
“I see the path you’re going down. I see the push and the pull between you and here, and I’m offering advice because it’s a man’s life at stake and you’re both wardens. Take it or not, my boy, but don’t mistake my intentions.”
“Because as far as I know, everyone she called to come handle me thought I needed it and I can’t put that on her. I’m a mess. But I was trying to be a mess that stayed in his corner and didn’t bother her and it didn’t help.” He lifts his eyes to look at Francis’ face. “Did she tell you how many people she asked? I just… want to know how many people were told… the things people who’ve talked to her have been saying. How am I supposed to work in counselling if nobody respects me enough to talk to me?”
Crozier shakes his head. "I know she spoke with Kiryu. Shaw and I's own conversation was short, rather to the point. I said I'd speak with you because I was concerned."
He debates on whether to say the next point, but Malcolm deserves to know what's being said. "She's worried. She believes Will can be manipulative, and you can be susceptible to it. She worries that you're both overly dependent on each other."
“…Kiryu? That… makes sense, actually. I should have guessed that. And… I’m always glad to speak to you. But… we’re not… I mean… it’s even worse if that’s what she’s telling people. Oh my god that must be why Jesus told me we should split up.” His expression creases with consternation. “What… what would you have done if you were being…. talked about like this?”
Well, no wonder he’s been so bloody confused! Or maybe he just wasn’t ready to hear it from anyone other than him.
He shakes his head a little. “You forget, I was an inmate, and before that I was a goddamned mess of a person. I was being talked about constantly. I was miserable and I drank to cope. I put people in danger, Malcolm. I’d be more surprised if people weren’t talking about me.
“Eventually…I realized I need to change something about myself. I was doing harm to others.”
"Unconscious or consciously, perhaps. I couldn't say for certain, nor would I want to believe that of him. But...it very well could be a possibility, Malcolm."
“He’s very open with me. She doesn’t get us. She’s concerned he’ll turn into his abuser and put me in the role he held in that relationship. But he won’t. It’s not like that,” he assures.
“Thank you,” Malcolm says. He takes a breath, lets it out. “I didn’t… I didn’t do anything, Francis. I don’t know how to be if everyone thinks I need to be dealt with when I’m doing what I was told.”
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“I don’t know any of it. I don’t know how she reacted, I don’t know the details of what happened with Will. I’d appreciate it if you’d quit lumping me in with the battalion of people that Shaw sent your way, because I’m not here for her or to talk reason into you or whatever damn thing you think is going on.
“I see the path you’re going down. I see the push and the pull between you and here, and I’m offering advice because it’s a man’s life at stake and you’re both wardens. Take it or not, my boy, but don’t mistake my intentions.”
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"Of course I want your advice. I'll... do what you said."
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“I’d tell you to start guarding your heart just a little more, but we both know I’d be a hypocrite if I did. I just don’t want you getting hurt.”
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He debates on whether to say the next point, but Malcolm deserves to know what's being said. "She's worried. She believes Will can be manipulative, and you can be susceptible to it. She worries that you're both overly dependent on each other."
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Well, no wonder he’s been so bloody confused! Or maybe he just wasn’t ready to hear it from anyone other than him.
He shakes his head a little. “You forget, I was an inmate, and before that I was a goddamned mess of a person. I was being talked about constantly. I was miserable and I drank to cope. I put people in danger, Malcolm. I’d be more surprised if people weren’t talking about me.
“Eventually…I realized I need to change something about myself. I was doing harm to others.”
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He can’t, in truth, picture Francis doing harm, but he has said he had a journey.
“Um. Nobody has told me that. To answer your question. That… they think Will might be manipulating me.”
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As gentle as his voice is, he's still firm in this.
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He lets the weight of the conversation hang in the air between them for a moment.
"In any case, I'm happy you were able to see him."
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