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[abrightboy]

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[abrightboy]

"You're not mad at me?" Malcolm clarifies.

[goingtobeunwell]

He shakes his head softly. “I’m not mad at you, Malcolm. Of course I’m not.”

[abrightboy]

“I’m mad at me,” he says softly.

[goingtobeunwell]

His brow furrows. "Why's that?"

[abrightboy]

“Because as far as I know, everyone she called to come handle me thought I needed it and I can’t put that on her. I’m a mess. But I was trying to be a mess that stayed in his corner and didn’t bother her and it didn’t help.” He lifts his eyes to look at Francis’ face. “Did she tell you how many people she asked? I just… want to know how many people were told… the things people who’ve talked to her have been saying. How am I supposed to work in counselling if nobody respects me enough to talk to me?”

[goingtobeunwell]

Crozier shakes his head. "I know she spoke with Kiryu. Shaw and I's own conversation was short, rather to the point. I said I'd speak with you because I was concerned."

He debates on whether to say the next point, but Malcolm deserves to know what's being said. "She's worried. She believes Will can be manipulative, and you can be susceptible to it. She worries that you're both overly dependent on each other."

[abrightboy]

“…Kiryu? That… makes sense, actually. I should have guessed that. And… I’m always glad to speak to you. But… we’re not… I mean… it’s even worse if that’s what she’s telling people. Oh my god that must be why Jesus told me we should split up.” His expression creases with consternation. “What… what would you have done if you were being…. talked about like this?”

[goingtobeunwell]

“Did…no one say that to your face, Malcolm?”

Well, no wonder he’s been so bloody confused! Or maybe he just wasn’t ready to hear it from anyone other than him.

He shakes his head a little. “You forget, I was an inmate, and before that I was a goddamned mess of a person. I was being talked about constantly. I was miserable and I drank to cope. I put people in danger, Malcolm. I’d be more surprised if people weren’t talking about me.

“Eventually…I realized I need to change something about myself. I was doing harm to others.”

[abrightboy]

Malcolm’s eyes widen. “…Is that what I’m doing?”

[goingtobeunwell]

"Doing harm? I don't think you are," he says gently. "I was merely speaking on my own experiences."

[abrightboy]

He looks relieved.

He can’t, in truth, picture Francis doing harm, but he has said he had a journey.

“Um. Nobody has told me that. To answer your question. That… they think Will might be manipulating me.”

[goingtobeunwell]

"Unconscious or consciously, perhaps. I couldn't say for certain, nor would I want to believe that of him. But...it very well could be a possibility, Malcolm."

[abrightboy]

"He loves me," Malcolm says quietly. "He means it. I can tell."

[goingtobeunwell]

"I don't think that's an issue," he says gently. "Of course he loves you."

[abrightboy]

“Why would he manipulate me? To what end?” Malcolm asks.

[goingtobeunwell]

"I wouldn't know, Malcolm. I'm not the one calling him manipulative, his warden is."

[abrightboy]

“He’s very open with me. She doesn’t get us. She’s concerned he’ll turn into his abuser and put me in the role he held in that relationship. But he won’t. It’s not like that,” he assures.

[goingtobeunwell]

"It isn't her job to understand your relationship. Her job is to redeem him."

As gentle as his voice is, he's still firm in this.

[abrightboy]

“Not being completely wrong about it would probably help her relationship with him,” Malcolm protests quietly.

[goingtobeunwell]

"That's for them to hash out," he says simply. "Or it should be."

He lets the weight of the conversation hang in the air between them for a moment.

"In any case, I'm happy you were able to see him."

[abrightboy]

“Thank you,” Malcolm says. He takes a breath, lets it out. “I didn’t… I didn’t do anything, Francis. I don’t know how to be if everyone thinks I need to be dealt with when I’m doing what I was told.”

[goingtobeunwell]

"Wait a few days," he tells him sagely. "It'll die down, all of it. People will calm. See reason."

[abrightboy]

He looks truly hopeful for the first time today.

“You think so?”

[goingtobeunwell]

"It's the one thing you can count on in this place," he reassures him. "People always move on to the next thing."

[abrightboy]

“I’ve just… I’ve already struggled in the counselling office. I don’t… I’m worried if the messiness of… all this gets bandied about, the few people I see will drop me and then what am I doing? How can I be a counsellor if everyone thinks I’m a joke?” he explains.