A flicker of a smile crosses his face. He shifts his weight.
“That’s what I told Maggie, you know. When she asked me. I said I didn’t see the point of joining the pack to not be part of the pack. If she just wanted cool dog powers, she could ask the Admiral for that.”
Lark grins. An honest grin, a surprised one. "Yeah?" It feels good to hear that. To know that something that means everything to Lark was being protected while he was gone. "Thank you."
“That was right? It just felt right. …I think she thinks I’m a bit of a loser for choosing it just to… belong. But I think the belonging is the fundamental core of it.”
He shakes his head with a wry smile. "The Barge pack is a different thing than a real pack. A normal pack. Everyone in LA chose it to belong. It's why I chose it. It's why my maker chose it. Of all the people I've turned here, only you and Zinzi have made it back to LA. Even if you don't stay there, it's something different about you."
He shrugs. "It's only happened once in fourteen years. We're not being chased by the Authority anymore, which means the reason it happened last time is moot. So no, not really."
He shrugs. Training is part of everyone's everyday life in a way. "Yes but it's not like military drills. I'm just going to teach you how to really use your new senses."
It reminds him of when he'd been a pup, only he'd been gleefully testing the rules as soon as he learned them. It's how he learned which ones were unbreakable.
"Most of them are instinctive. And they're a little looser around the Barge, since we don't have to hide what we are in order to survive. Which ones do you know already?"
“…None of them. Except that apparently if I turned Will without permission, you’d murder him. And probably me when I got in the way,” Malcolm says. “And… I guess I was right about turning being about the community….”
"Wolves use violence in ways humans don't. It's a part of our language. I want to transcend that but some things can only be solved with teeth. You are part of how we're going to learn to do things in less bloody ways." But where to start now?
"We call lone wolves 'coyotes'. They don't live long. The pack helps channel your instincts; alone they run amok. Humans don't trust us, animals hate us. It's hard to hold down a job with your instincts running wild and your boss instinctively lashing out at you, so the pack is where we all want to be. You never want to be a coyote."
"I do. I want better for our people than scraping by in black market deals. I want our people to have options." And Malcolm's training means maybe they have a shot at that.
"I have one pup who's going to make a great governor if I can get him through some of his trauma, I have another who wants to go back and get a high school diploma so he can go to college, but he has to learn to control himself first. Trauma, again."
“Trauma’s my specialty,” he gushes, like Lark doesn’t know; like Lark isn’t detailing that that’s why he chose him. It’s a clue he’s starting to feel excited about it again.
"I've got a pretty wide variety for you to work through in LA." He doubts Malcolm will ever be bored.
"That's the thing about being a wolf; we've all gone through something terrible to become what we are. We all have trauma. Cutter was a veteran, he fought in Iraq. He lost everything overseas and then lost even more when he came home. Jason dropped out of high school and became a prostitute. He'd never had a real family before the pack. It overwhelms him sometimes."
“Will and I have never fit in anywhere. I think he feels it. Innately. The belonging of the pack. He’s helping me learn to trust it,” Malcolm tells him.
"It was hard for me at first. It took me time to trust the pack, too. You and Will are monogamous but if you ever did split up...don't fall for a wolf girl."
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You’re the one he chose, Will had pointed out.
He takes a risk.
“But Will can come too?”
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“That’s what I told Maggie, you know. When she asked me. I said I didn’t see the point of joining the pack to not be part of the pack. If she just wanted cool dog powers, she could ask the Admiral for that.”
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“That was right? It just felt right. …I think she thinks I’m a bit of a loser for choosing it just to… belong. But I think the belonging is the fundamental core of it.”
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But Will needs to graduate.
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In case something happens and he can’t get back.
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"Most of them are instinctive. And they're a little looser around the Barge, since we don't have to hide what we are in order to survive. Which ones do you know already?"
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"We call lone wolves 'coyotes'. They don't live long. The pack helps channel your instincts; alone they run amok. Humans don't trust us, animals hate us. It's hard to hold down a job with your instincts running wild and your boss instinctively lashing out at you, so the pack is where we all want to be. You never want to be a coyote."
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"I have one pup who's going to make a great governor if I can get him through some of his trauma, I have another who wants to go back and get a high school diploma so he can go to college, but he has to learn to control himself first. Trauma, again."
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"That's the thing about being a wolf; we've all gone through something terrible to become what we are. We all have trauma. Cutter was a veteran, he fought in Iraq. He lost everything overseas and then lost even more when he came home. Jason dropped out of high school and became a prostitute. He'd never had a real family before the pack. It overwhelms him sometimes."
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“Why not?”
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