Lark grins at him. Three days is more like it. "Now we're talking. What are your hours like in the counseling office? Maybe we can work together an hour or two after you get off; might help you unwind."
"I work strictly by appointment now," Malcolm tells him. "I was having problems w... I was having some problems and had to take a break and now I assess people before I take an appointment with them. So I don't get walk-ins that don't understand what I do."
"It feels like I failed somehow. When Kiryu asked me to work there, I really thought it was a place where I could do good. It was so exciting. And it just... mostly didn't work out because I'm not really cut out for... talking to people. I guess. I still want to do it, but it just feels... diminished now. Because I wanted counselling to be a thing that could help anyone who needs it and everyone who wants it and I can't offer that to them because I'm not... fit for it," Malcolm explains.
"Malcolm, you will never find a group of people more resistant to therapy than the Barge citizens. You're in a job where you're fighting a half dozen currents at any given time. It's a thankless job. It doesn't mean you don't help; it just means you may not reach people as readily as you will off this ship." Lark has faith in him, enough faith to bring him to Los Angeles--something he rarely does. "Reaching one person here is like reaching five people at home, in terms of difficulty."
“Being understood. Like. Semantically. I say things and people consistently take it in a way other than how I mean it. I don’t know what to do about that,” Malcolm admits. “But it’s clearly me that’s the problem.”
"I have that problem, too." Lark can usually make himself understood if someone sticks through the conversation but he's stepped on plenty of toes, sometimes without meaning to. Sometimes he does.
“I preferred it with just me and Will. I don’t really like getting undressed in front of everyone. Or eating red meat,” Malcolm says making a bit of a face.
He’d gone along with it, though. He really wants to feel like Pack.
"I normally wouldn't have even allowed Will to be there, but I knew he'd want to take the change, too." You adapt or you die. That's the way of things. "Iris didn't know better. I didn't turn her the way I turned you, it was an experiment with her, test tubes.... But no, Sweeney isn't Pack, and I wouldn't have let him be there. It would have been a smaller affair."
Malcolm’s face falls. He said what he was saying wrong again.
“No,” he says, though there’s uncertainty in the way he fidgets again. He clears his throat. “No. I didn’t mean Sweeney. I was just trying to say that I don’t think Will feels cheated by getting Iris’ made up version of the ritual. Which was. Very ritual-y.” He shifts his weight uncomfortably.
“Yeah. He loves being a wolf. He’s better at it than I am. But he’s always spent a lot of time with dogs.” He pauses. “If Iris is supposed to be in charge when you’re gone, why didn’t you train her?” It’s curious, not accusatory.
no subject
"Okay, well we can try Thursday mornings for now and if it's not enough we could do two or even three days a week," he suggests.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
He’d gone along with it, though. He really wants to feel like Pack.
no subject
no subject
no subject
No. Not even a little.
But it's done.
"Good for him," Lark drawls. "I'm sure he'd love if we all gathered to gawk at his rituals, too."
no subject
“No,” he says, though there’s uncertainty in the way he fidgets again. He clears his throat. “No. I didn’t mean Sweeney. I was just trying to say that I don’t think Will feels cheated by getting Iris’ made up version of the ritual. Which was. Very ritual-y.” He shifts his weight uncomfortably.
no subject
Adapt or die.
"Will's happy? Really happy?"
no subject
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)