abrightboy | Voicemail (IC Contact Post) NEW

it's something you might notice Friday morning! Hm!

I'd like to notice it Thursday afternoon, since I'm going there now.

but that is the hint It's an extremely big hint when I wrote the riddle just for you

It has to do with yoga?

haha good one cause clearly you got it and are joking now on your way there, right?

I lead a yoga class on deck on Friday mornings. The yoga class on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays is just about the only thing I do on deck. Especially since early on I went for a walk up there when I had insomnia and walked in on Misty and Sweeney canoodling.

no! It's not the only thing! Is that poster out of date?

I don’t know. Which poster?

the one that says there's also coffee

Maybe you can send me a picture.

Wait, is it in the coffee pot?

ah yes because that would be very good for the integrity of the note and plausible to keep hidden for a long time But hm! Maybe you should check and see if you notice something nearby!

In the coffee can? Under my coffee cup? …You know coffee doesn’t start with a k right?

You're saying all these things like there's only one type of coffee maker up there. There may be a second type of thing that does start with K!

It's under the kettle for tea?

what could be worse for the environment than a teakettle or a normal coffee maker? get a little further away from the actual steaming devices. something that could be kept dry more easily

Coffee grounds? ...The cookie jar? ......Those start with C too.

you are at liberty to search the area if you are at a loss.

I'm at the area. I got this far can't you just tell me? You can have all these cookies in exchange for it.

is there something else you can bring me you think I might like?

[Walter is, of course, already jittery enough. He is not a coffee guy. Not even really a tea guy. What he really is at heart is a hot cocoa guy.

But at this setup with the multiple types of coffee makers and teakettle, in addition to the utensils, as for the drink materials proper? The hot cocoa is not stored in teabags nor raw materials nor in packets. There's a little multi-storied rack - where something flat placed underneath the items would easily go unnoticed unless someone stood right next to it and looked straight down. Where there something white, it would stand out against the black plastic.

For the single-serve coffee capsules.]

I usually make you hot chocolate. But in my cabin, because it's better with milk. These are made with pressurized hot water, which...

[He had picked up one of the pods, but as he puts it back, then he notices the folded paper and picks it up.]

[...IS BAD FOR THE ENVIRONMENT!!!

Walter is just going to not answer the message since he believes it would be obtrusive at this moment what with the dramatic ellipsis and everything.

THERE IS A REAL IMPROVISED ENVELOPE MADE OUT OF PAPER AND TAPE. It is unmarked on the outside.

Open?]

[He opens the envelope and carefully unfolds it.]

I assume from your hesitation that you're now reading the letter. I have to admit I was not in the kindest state of mind when I wrote it. You're free to roast me for my apparently incomprehensible punchline now.

[The letter inside, in familiar block-caps, reads:]

Dear Malcolm,

You have permission to check your warden item every two (2) days during ports, once (1 time) per day during floods that affect the environment, and every five (5) days otherwise, to verify I'm not face down in a ditch somewhere.

I will cooperate with up to thirty minutes of homework delegated to another warden per week, because despite your active detriment to my emotional state, I am taking graduation very seriously.

You are still to check my ledger.

Not entirely respectfully,
YOUR INMATE!

P.S. The puzzles are only going to get harder from here.

Mmhm. I’m… not going to be doing any more puzzles, Walter, regardless of difficulty level. But if it’s any consolation, I’m not going to roast you for this one. Someone who uses the keurig thingies would probably have gotten it right away. It was extremely clever. Thank you for sharing it.

Regarding the letter….

One: the number of times you’re “permitting” me to look for you on my warden item are more times than I typically do. I only check it if I have reason to think you’re in danger or if I need to find you urgently. In point of fact, I didn’t know either of my last two inmates graduated until they told me because I don’t… track people like some sort of creeper. I also don’t read your private messages, even though I can. I have many social deficiencies, but not understanding personal space and privacy isn’t one of them.

Two: I don’t even know how to give homework to people who don’t engage in some sort of dialogue with me. There’s not, like… a curriculum here. So enjoy your free time, I guess. Or pick a warden of your choice and engage with them.

Three: I don’t read the ledger. I forget it exists until people bring it up. My position is that I don’t need to read The Big Book of Gossip; I can form my own opinions about people. I prefer to.

So. It was nice to hear from you. Thank you for the very clear boundaries. Anyway. Will graduated. I have to plan dinner. I have to go. And by ‘go’, I might be leaving for a week or two. If you need anything while I’m gone, you can ask Neal Caffrey. He’ll have my warden item and he’ll help in any way he can.

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