Voicemail (IC Contact Post) OLD - at capcha

[abrightboy]

 This is Bright. Leave a message.

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[citizendetective]

I might regret it... more?

[is that the right answer]

[abrightboy]

For what reason?

[citizendetective]

I don't know, Malcolm, probably because you keep bringing it up and so I'm thinking about it more.

[abrightboy]

Feeling the feelings yourself didn’t change anything?

[citizendetective]

[Her brow furrows, and she shakes her head.]

I'm not sure that they're actually the same feelings.

[abrightboy]

Everybody has the same feelings you do.

[citizendetective]

But not always for the same reasons...

[She trails off of that thought, turning around to face him.]

People don't always feel real to me. But you do. I want you to know that, Malcolm.

[abrightboy]

I appreciate that. What I want you to do is take that list of people you wronged and, instead of writing what you think they think, I want you to put yourself in their place and write how they feel.

[citizendetective]

But isn't that obvious? They feel angry, violated...

[abrightboy]

Is it obvious? That’s not what you wrote.

[citizendetective]

I thought it was obvious. And I figured they all felt that, so I wanted to write something more personalized.

[abrightboy]

They didn’t all have the same relationship with you, so they couldn’t have all felt the same way. You didn’t put yourself in their place. You need to feel what they feel to empathize with them. It’s not an intellectual exercise. You’re working on the problem from the wrong side of your brain.

[citizendetective]

And if the thing you want me to do isn't something I'm good at?

[abrightboy]

If it were something you were good at, you wouldn't need to do this. I want you to be able to consider how what you do affects other people before you do the things. To do that, you have to start by considering how what you did affected the people you did it to. How they felt. What it did to them. You can't do that by telling me how you think they SHOULD feel about it.

[citizendetective]

Okay. Point taken.

[Pulling away from the deck railing, she moves over to one of the benches, kneeling on the floor so that she can use it as a makeshift desk to make edits.]

Sephiroth
- Protective of his friends, and/or people from his world. I can empathize with this!
- Didn't like that I came into a place where I "didn't belong", but he was there too, and it wasn't his cabin. He could have felt proud of the fact that he was allowed when I wasn't, and wanted to maintain that distinction (boundary).
- Likes to threaten people. He probably wanted to intimidate me.

Edward
- Didn't like that I blew his cover, because he was using the secrecy as a security measure. Figured the bombs were better off with him here than at home in the hands of anyone else. Has a really high opinion of his own ability to handle things all by himself. He might have good reason to!
- Doesn't like relying on others. More people knowing about the bombs means he has to rely on them to not be weird about it.
- Very strategic. This is probably why he's being really nice and complimentary towards me now, because he considers me a possible threat and he wants to make sure I'm on his side.

Malcolm (you!)
- Lonely and not used to having friends. Wants to feel important to people. Worried that he isn't important to me because I prioritized Natalie's interests over his (in one situation with very special circumstances).
- Tried to guilt me about it because that's often a really effective strategy. (It sort of worked.)

Zack
- He thought I was deflecting (even though I wasn't). If I had actually been deflecting his anger would have been completely understandable.

Fitz (I'm not actually sure that he was mad. He kind of gave off "I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed" vibes!)
- Felt my methods were beneath me.

Jon
- Wanted an excuse to lecture and be condescending.

Tim
- Thought I was trying to pin the blame on Jacobi, who he's really protective of. His anger about that was something I could empathize with, even though it was totally wrong and misdirected.
- He also wanted an excuse to yell at me.

Yunlan
- Upset about me being a bad friend to Natalie. [Several more scribbled-out words here]

[When she's done, she hands the paper back.]

Better?

[abrightboy]

An improvement. [He hands it back to her.] You didn’t integrate anything we talked about into mine. You did erase the most objectionable stuff from most of them. Keep at it. I know you can do it. Try using the technique I showed you. Did you call me because you wanted to talk about this or something else?

[citizendetective]

I called you because I wanted to talk about this and hang out with you.

[abrightboy]

Wanna get a cup of coffee, then?

[citizendetective]

[She looks down at her paper, then back over at him, and smiles.]

Sure.

[She says, folding the paper into a square and tucking it into her jeans pocket.]

Malcolm, you believe me when I say that you're one of the people who feels real, right? Who isn't just a prop?

[abrightboy]

I believe that you mean it and that it’s a compliment. I’m not sure I know what it means. In what way are other people props?

[citizendetective]

Well, "props" was Pagan's word; he says it's how I treat people. I mean it more like... how a lot of people just feel hollow to me. Shallow. Not really real.

[abrightboy]

Because you can’t connect with them emotionally? They feel like cardboard cut-outs of people? Inanimate?

[citizendetective]

Right. But you don't, and it's important to me that you know that.

[abrightboy]

Do you think that’s because we have similar interests?

[citizendetective]

I'm sure that's part of it.

[She curls her fingers over the paper in her pocket, crinkling it a little.]

I feel like I understand you. I like spending time with you - you specifically, not just because you're a person who's willing to be around me.

I would never have let Sweeney hurt you.