Voicemail (IC Contact Post) OLD - at capcha

[abrightboy]

 This is Bright. Leave a message.

Comments

[abrightboy]

“Do you ever blame him?” Malcolm asks.

[empathicfault]

Will breaks into a bit of laughter, and he realizes it sounds rather unhinged. "That is why I tried to kill him multiple times, yes."

He shakes his head a bit, calming down. "But this one- it's on me. He'd turned himself in after I told him I didn't want to see him anymore. He put himself in that same damn hospital so I would 'always know where to find' him. All I had to do? Was not go there."

[abrightboy]

“Easier said than done,” Malcolm points out.

[empathicfault]

"Sure is," Will agrees. "But I still was the one who made the choice."

Thinking about it, he adds, "You know, I can lay some blame on Jack Crawford as well. He pulled me back in, knowing full well what was likely to happen. I told him no, multiple times, and he showed me photos of the victims. There's...plenty of blame to go around."

[abrightboy]

“Why did he care about his solve rate more than he cared about you? What was his damage ?” Malcolm asks.

[empathicfault]

"That's a good question," Will notes, as if he could possibly be objective about it. "He'd always instinctively thought of me as a tool to be used, but- he used to at least feel bad about it. I think he... hardened after he lost his wife. It became all about work. And it is important work."

He doubts either of them could argue that. "That doesn't mean I'm okay with him deciding I'm a sacrificial lamb for the cause."

[abrightboy]

“No. It’s not okay,” Malcolm agrees. “Was he the first to use you like that?”

[empathicfault]

Will looks down, searching his memories for another example. "He was the first to realize I was useful. So, yes. I suppose so."

[abrightboy]

“How did he find out about you?” Malcolm asks.

[empathicfault]

"Alana- Dr. Bloom. She knew me through work- we both lectured for the FBI Academy. She wasn't there full-time, but I did end up seeing her a lot. She sat in on a few of my lectures and- she was impressed, I guess."

He closes his eyes for a moment and imagines the lecture hall. That feels like a lifetime away. "It was supposed to be only once, but I was apparently indispensable."

[abrightboy]

“She really did you not a single favour, huh?” Malcolm observes wryly.

[empathicfault]

"Oh no," Will contests, suddenly looking amused. "No, she did me one single favor. It was-"

God, how was he even going to approach this one? He sort of laughs and shakes his head. "So- Mason didn't die after the whole 'cutting off his face' thing. Hannibal broke his neck. Even as an invalid, he was a horrible monster. At least he finally looked it."

There is only derision for Mason Verger. He suspects Malcolm will understand. "He set up a bounty for Hannibal's capture. He had Alana as his 'psychiatrist'- I'm sure that was an arrangement to learn more about Hannibal. With all that money, his team caught Hannibal- and me- in Florence. And back off to the Verger Estate we went. Mason wanted to-" Will squints his eyes and takes a measured breath to help emphasize this stupid idea. "-steal my face, and then eat Hannibal with my face." Man didn't have an original idea in his life. Will's sure Mason must've thought it was 'poetic' or something.

"Alana freed Hannibal, on the condition that he promised he'd save me."

[abrightboy]

“I take it he actually did it?” Will survived to jump off a cliff.

[empathicfault]

Will nods. "Hannibal keeps his promises. It's just- they're usually more like threats. He freed me and took me home. Cleaned me up. Waited for the paralytics to wear off, and then we had a talk." He looks up to Malcolm and shrugs. "He would've done that, anyway, given the chance. But Alana didn't know that."

[abrightboy]

"Do you forgive any of them?" Malcolm asks softly.

[empathicfault]

Will has to think about that. After a long moment of contemplation, he replies, "I don't think I do. I could eventually forgive Alana, I think. But...not Jack." He shakes his head.

He and Hannibal had a conversation, before the Dragon showed up at Hannibal's cliffside manor. Hannibal had brought up the promises he'd made to Alana, and to Bedelia, and implied that Will had a promise he might want to make to Jack.

Will had been fairly certain there was no promise-keeping that was going to happen after that night. But regardless, he had seriously thought about the topic. He finds himself still agreeing with his conclusions, then.

[abrightboy]

Malcolm leans forward with his elbows on his desk.

"Okay, well... it's impossible to know exactly what the Admiral wants you to do to graduate, but you've identified several areas where it would be... beneficial to you to do some work on processing the trauma, regardless. That's probably enough for one day...." They'd waded through some heavy waters. "But at our next session... maybe you can think about where you'd like to start and we can work on that a bit."

[empathicfault]

Will feels a bit like a wrung-out dishrag, which means that yeah, it's probably about time to pack it up. He nods and does a more thorough self-assessment, trying to figure out if there's anything he didn't bring up. It was all mostly at the beginning.

"I'll think about it. And try taking some days off sometimes, see if that helps too. I do feel a little more...settled. And you--"

He's hesitant to bring it up, but reminds himself that Malcolm is very open about things other people would find too personal. "I know this is a more 'professional' set-up with you and me. But if you ever want to talk about anything, come by my place. Even if I'm 'resting'. I know it's hard, handling some of what we've been through. I can at least lend an ear."

[abrightboy]

"I just want to help," Malcolm tells him. "I don't feel like I'm... of too high a station to share with you or something." He studies Will's face for a moment. "I've never met anyone who could see it," he admits.

[empathicfault]

"Yeah," Will replies, a tired smile crossing his features. He won't elaborate, but he knows how lonely an existence their mindset (practiced or otherwise) can cause. There's a reason why so many of the killers he went after asked him to see.

"I want to help too, if I can. That's all," he adds, vaguely wondering if the help he'd provide would twist the wrong way at all. After all, he's fairly sure Hannibal only had the intention to 'help' him, after a certain point. "I don't get the opportunity to be the 'helper' very often. Plus, I'm pretty sure we could have a decent time just being the Weird Murder Guys around on the Barge, no therapy required." He shrugs. "We could creep other people out talking about our cases?"

[abrightboy]

Malcolm smiles brightly and leans forward a little, conspiratorially.

"I'd love that," he admits enthusiastically.

[empathicfault]

Will grins in response. "All right. Count on it, then. I'll probably start with the mushroom people," he adds, with a wink. That one was strange but relatively unconnected to his rat's nest of issues. Perfect to start out with.

He finally pushes himself up out of the chair, but hesitates before he heads out for the day. "Thanks, Malcolm. For this." As very recently noted, he hasn't had any actually good psychiatrists actually looking into his issues before.

[abrightboy]

Malcolm smiles back.

"It's my pleasure, Will. Don't forget self-care and call me if you need anything."