Voicemail (IC Contact Post) OLD - at capcha

[abrightboy]

 This is Bright. Leave a message.

Comments

[empathicfault]

Will rolls his eyes a bit, hearing about 'society'. Of course, it wasn't like people wanted to talk about it in lower class settings, either- everyone had enough problems. And- yeah, after Malcolm's father was caught, there was plenty else to check on.

"It was mostly southern Louisiana, and mostly in a houseboat. We'd pick up and move down-river occasionally, after I'd caused enough of a fuss, or Dad got transferred. I had...outbursts, at school. Took me until high school to start recognizing where my emotions were coming from." It was awful, but there wasn't much for it. Will shrugs. "I'd spend as much time as I could alone, fishing or reading. Fixing the boat, when it needed it."

[abrightboy]

“Did they ever take you to a doctor for it?” Malcolm asks. “Try to find out what was wrong?”

[empathicfault]

"Oh, yeah. Went to whatever our insurance would pay for, which wasn't much. Got diagnosed borderline, shizoaffective, bipolar, and autistic, all different visits. Agoraphobic, too, which was probably my favorite."

He smirks. "They were throwing things at the wall. It was probably a good thing that we couldn't afford the meds when I was that young. And I don't know if it was just convenient or what, but my dad realized I was always just fine on my own. So that's what we did. And during summers, he'd take a couple of weeks off and we'd just head deep into the bayou." It's clear he's remembering that fondly.

[abrightboy]

“That sounds really great.” He remembers enjoying camping with his dad. Until he didn’t. “How did you find out what your condition really is?”

[empathicfault]

It was really great, honestly. One of the few really positive memories Will has of his father. And the question makes him scoff. "Oh, they still don't actually know," Will replies. "Just that it's...more like autism than BPD or sociopathy- or, actually."

That's wrong now, isn't it? He tries to think back. "Didn't read anything Chilton wrote on me, so I don't know what the word is now. Last I heard, it was 'intelligent psychopath' but they wanted that one for Hannibal, so." Will shakes his head and makes an exaggerated display of shrugging. "I've had to just figure it out as much as I can."

[abrightboy]

“Psychopaths display a lack of empathy, not an abundance of it,” Malcolm points out. “Borderline personality disorder can indicate hyperempathy in some patients, but those other disorders you mentioned are often also associated with lower than average levels of empathy,” Malcolm says.

[empathicfault]

"Well, I didn't say they were right. I got the impression that people thought I'd been faking, this whole time. Do you have anything you'd think to diagnose me for?" They had, after all, spent some significant time together by now. "I guess it'd be more of a profile, but I'd take that too."

[abrightboy]

“Faking? Well. You’re definitely not doing that. Hyper-empathy has roots in a lot of mental health issues and I’d suggest anxious attachment made you prone to codependency already, which Hannibal exploited. Generally, hyper-empathy for others tends to make people less sensitive towards their own needs, which I’d also say is the case with you, so the best… therapeutic for you, I would suggest, is continuing to develop self-care routines that put your needs above other people’s demands,” Malcolm tells him. “Which I can help you with, if you want.”

[empathicfault]

Will nods in silent appreciation as Malcolm tags him for the anxious attachment style. It's a little more obvious here, where he can't hide in his house with his dogs, but it's still a good catch. And of course, Hannibal exploited it. The rest...

Will's eyebrows raise, even while he smiles. His eyes look down at the counter between them. "That's- you know, Doctor Lecter never gave me an official diagnosis, not one for any actual treatment. But in the early days, before I knew anything, that's what he recommended." His smile turns into a smirk. "I bet your methods are just a little less extreme. I'd be happy for the help."

[abrightboy]

"A little," Malcolm laughs. "I've already told you about yoga. I also do a few basic exercises first thing in the morning and I use affirmation cards my therapist gave me to focus my reframing through the day. But there are lots of different techniques that we can explore based on your specific needs. Like, you talked about the need to separate from the group and recharge. Maybe we can come up with some meditations or exercises that supplement the benefit from that, so that you can tame overwhelm in the moment, if you can't get away." He pauses. "Unless you find that kind of thing a little too... woo-woo," he adds, wiggling his fingers at Will.

[empathicfault]

That gets a solid laugh from Will. "Not at all. That's practically my primary coping mechanism. Although I guess it's less exercises and more- total dissociation, so that's probably a little less healthy? More general visualizations might not entirely separate me from my body."

He's a little more cautious about the affirmation cards, personally. But that won't be mentioned until he has some in his hands.

[abrightboy]

“We’ll work on keeping you in your body a little at a time,” Malcolm suggests. “Maybe there’s a way for you to develop a sort of shield against other people’s emotions without letting go of yourself.”

[empathicfault]

"That would be extraordinarily helpful," Will replies. He's not sure it's possible, especially with having had such a hard time holding onto himself in general, in the past. But he's grateful for Malcolm even bringing it up.

"We've got time to try a few different things, see if any of it works. Hopefully, the Breaches and floods won't trip up any regimens too much. I- uh." He looks away, towards the living room with the weapons. He's not sure how to say this properly- not too many people have been so committed to actually seeing through therapies. "Thanks, Malcolm."

[abrightboy]

Malcolm smiles. “Any time. Really.” A pause, then he says “Can I ask you something?” like he’s about to open a very uncomfortable can of worms. He gestures towards the bruising. “What happened to your face?”

He wasn’t going to ask. He knows what kinds of things sometimes happen to his own face, but. Curiosity has finally won out.

[empathicfault]

Will squints a little at the first question, but once he's asked his hand goes up to lightly pat at the bruise. "Oh. Right. That was...breach fallout. Dimitri, the Guardian I told you about? He's a new inmate, and- uh, didn't get any memo about breaches. He didn't know what was going on, coming out of it. And considering what I did in there..."

His face falls a little, recalling it. "Well, I let him have the punch. He let me explain things afterwards." He pokes the side of his nose tentatively. "Should heal up fine."

[abrightboy]

“Yeah; it doesn’t look bad. Quite a few new inmates have lashed out on arrival; maybe there should be a pamphlet,” Malcolm jokes.

[empathicfault]

Will's glad to hear that it doesn't look too bad. He figured it was okay- he didn't seem to break his nose or anything. But he hadn't exactly gotten it checked out. He didn't want Dimitri getting in trouble for something that- honestly- wasn't his fault.

"Maybe. Or an- informational post, or a bulletin board thing, or something," Will says, musing aloud. "At least about the floods and breaches. I felt bad for the kid. He clearly hadn't heard anything- and I would've been blindsided if I hadn't gotten a bit of an introduction from Xie Lian. I probably would've thought I had a psychotic break."

[abrightboy]

"Oh. Yeah. It does feel like that, doesn't it? I mean. If you don't know." He smiles and gestures to the bruise. "Do you want a cold compress for that?"