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[abrightboy]

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[empathicfault]

"Ah, we share that trait," Will admits. "I just learned early on to expect heartbreak, did my best to stomp on that impulse. It was just so rare that I'd meet anyone who might be interested, beyond-" He looks vaguely embarrassed. "-you know, thinking I was cute."

He has a sudden impulse to hug Malcolm tight again, and so he does. "I love that you rush in," he says. He lets go and attempts to pull Malcolm to the couch, tea forgotten. "There's so many habits I have that are ways to shut down, hide away from pain. And you never seem scared to explore that part of yourself- or if you're scared, you do it anyway."

[abrightboy]

“Most people call that being weird and making everyone uncomfortable,” Malcolm points out, but he’s also clearly pleased by the praise or, at least, the fact that it’s coming from Will. “I hid it a lot more when I was with the FBI, but not in a way where people thought I was normal and wanted to hang out with me. And it helped that being the guy that does the weird murders meant people saw me as the Weird Murder Guy and didn’t think too hard about whether ‘weird’ was modifying ‘murder’ or ‘guy’, but then a colleague found out who I am and outed me and they decided it was the latter.” He shrugs as he slides onto the couch next to Will. “When Gil asked me to help his team, I decided not to bother.”

[empathicfault]

Will rolls his eyes rather dramatically when Malcolm starts talking about the FBI being both conformist and obnoxious. It's not a surprise. Mention of Gil gets a small smile.

"Not bothering was the right call. Nothing I tried seemed to matter- I was always the Weird Guy. Took me decades and several attempts on my life before I realized that my being strange wasn't the problem, it was the spaces I was trying to occupy. And the people in those spaces."

[abrightboy]

Malcolm traces a line along Will’s sleeve with his finger.

“So we can both agree that the FBI was, like, the worst thing for our mental health.”

[empathicfault]

"Just terrible," Will agrees, leaning towards Malcolm so their shoulders touch. Then he realizes that's not enough and puts an arm around him. "It was basically emotional abuse disguised as 'important work.' I'm a little surprised that didn't turn you off to profiling entirely, but I suppose you've got the family connections pushing you forward there."

[abrightboy]

“It was never about the FBI. That’s just where the work was. It was about understanding murder and murderers. I don’t… do profiling, I am a profiler,” Malcolm explains.

[empathicfault]

"That's true," Will says, with a small nod. "Do you feel like it helped you understand, your time at the FBI?"

[abrightboy]

“Oh, for sure. I had access to their resources, I worked some great cases - mostly by myself, so the interpersonal issues weren’t a big deal - and my solve rate was over twenty percent higher than the Bureau average on violent crime, so they mostly left me alone to do it. …Until the Great Outing, at which point the solve rate meant they didn’t throw me straight out, but they did start looking for an excuse,” Malcolm admits. He snuggles closer, pulling one leg up under him so he’s half turned towards Will and can tilt his forehead against his temple. “It was only a matter of time until I gave them one. Impulsive emotions. You know.”

[empathicfault]

Ah, that's nice. This might actually be close enough to last a while. Will smiles lazily at Malcolm. "I know. But I'm also not asking about your solve rate. I mean, did it help you understand murderers in general? And your dad, specifically?"

[abrightboy]

"Yeah. I mean. More than anything else did to that point. They thought so too, without actually knowing why it mattered to me. I lectured at Quantico sometimes," Malcolm notes.

[empathicfault]

"You did, too?" Will grins suddenly. He'd been trying to get somewhere, but he's extremely easily distracted at the moment. And he didn't know Malcolm gave lectures. Just another thing they shared in common. "What on, abnormal psychology? Any specific topics?"

[abrightboy]

It always pleases him do much when he says something that makes Will light up.

"Very specifically on the psychology of murder. Even more specifically on what the difference is between someone who kills once, for some kind of tangible reason and someone who goes on to kill again and again and how the tipping point generally lies in their second murder," Malcolm explains. "Something triggers the first kill. Anyone can kill someone. But the next kill? And the next? What makes them do that?"

[empathicfault]

"Did you go into the neurochemistry of it first, or the likely coping mechanisms utilized in the repeated situation? I posited that there was a habit-forming mechanism for most serial murderers, much like someone who is encouraged to pick up smoking. The environmental pressures combined with a possibly underdeveloped hypothalamus to trigger endorphin and dopamine release at inappropriate times, and the second kill reinforces the mechanism."

He stops for a moment and chuckles at himself. "I, uh, did a paper or two on the subject, in case that wasn't obvious."

[abrightboy]

“I didn’t get that technical in a guest lecture for cadets, though I did compare it to other addictions, like smoking or gambling. I’d love to read your papers. I haven’t written much.” He couldn’t stay out of the field, speaking of addictions. “I always thought maybe I might… later. Though apparently some of my profiles made it online on the true crime communities. I… don’t know how. But a friend of mine that’s into it assures me I have quite the following.”

[empathicfault]

"True crime, of course. They got ahold of a few of my lectures, too. Loved picking those apart more than they liked the Tattlecrime articles." Freddie was probably pretty mad she wasn't the first to that source. "Wish I had my papers, but my laptop didn't make the trip here. I bet you were on the path for that eventually, though. You're about the age I was when I started writing them. Actually-"

He shifts a little, allowing for Malcolm to use him as a pillow (if he wants).
"You're in your early 30s, right? I never asked. Seemed kind of pointless when we don't age here."

[abrightboy]

Malcolm does want. He shifts when Will does to take him up on it.

“Thirty-three when I got here. So… forever, I guess. You?”

[empathicfault]

Mmm, nice. Will plays idly with Malcolm's hair for a moment before his hand settles over his partner's shoulder. He notices one of those bright insects in the corner of his peripheral vision, having thought it was Sunshine before. He must've let it in when he arrived.

"Forty-two, when I got here. Huh, usually I'm the younger one in the relationship- you know, all three or four I've had before."

[abrightboy]

"Three or four; no wonder you're so good at this," Malcolm hums dreamily. "Do you think you'd stay with me if Hannibal came back here? Do you think the Barge could redeem him? Or did the Admiral send him away because he couldn't change?" Malcolm pauses, then frowns faintly. "I'm not sure I want you to change."

[empathicfault]

Will's ready to laugh and mention that the only 'real' one was Molly, and everyone on this ship owes her thanks for 'socializing' him a little. But he's only through half a chuckle before Malcolm asks about Hannibal. And then keeps asking questions, and every single one is worthy of a long discussion.

Will chuckles anyway, because that is so very Malcolm, and he loves it. "We all change. We are becoming new things constantly, always slightly different than we used to be. It's a matter of whether those changes are directed by us or not." He kisses the top of Malcolm's head. "I am the master of my fate now, and I choose to change with you, not apart. And if Hannibal came back here...well, then we'd all change together. I think....we'd dance."

Will's lip curls up into a hopeful smile as he envisions it. "Hannibal would pick the music, I'd lead. It would be horrible and wonderful and exhilarating, probably all at the same time. You could learn just how many traits I share with Hannibal- how many traits you share with him, too. And when we were done, maybe you'd be able to go back home and I could help you with your father- whatever form that takes."

[abrightboy]

“I don’t want to be like him,” Malcolm murmurs, and it’s not clear whether he means Hannibal or his father. He rolls slightly to look up at Will without actually dislodging himself as something occurs to him. “You’d still come with me in the end?”

[empathicfault]

Will smiles and nods a little. "Mmmhmm. I'd love to. And you don't have to be like him." Whichever 'him' that means.

"You're unique, a one-of-a-kind, priceless, uncarved jewel. I want you to decide your own fate, too. You'll...probably have to fight for it." That's just the way to ensure agency in one's world. "But I'll help."

[abrightboy]

Malcolm sits up, turning to fully face him for a moment - just searching his face - and then kissing him earnestly.

[empathicfault]

Will allows the scrutiny, looking back at Malcolm with open admiration. The kiss is somewhat unexpected- he thought there'd at least be some more questions and maybe some lazy disagreement (probably worse later, honestly). So when he's kissed, Will melts into it, pressing his lips into Malcolm's just as much.

And even though he expected some resistance, he also knew Malcolm would understand. He knew it'd be something he could accept and maybe even embrace over time. Everything would be all right. He will help Malcolm find contentment. Will makes that promise to himself as the kiss continues.

[abrightboy]

Malcolm shifts while they kiss, until he’s straddling Will’s lap, so when the kiss breaks, he’s looking down into his face and a little dreamily at that.

“What were we talking about?” he murmurs with a little grin.

[empathicfault]

Will's chuckle is soft, and he sounds a little dreamy, too. "Have you ever heard of the Japanese art of kintsugi, Malcolm?"

This is not what they were talking about, but he's going somewhere with this, honest.