abrightboy | No One's Born Broken

"It's like a buffet," he said, some of his morning demeanour starting to creep in. He slid to the edge of the bed, pressing a kiss to Raylan's temple. "But I cannot contemplate any liquids just yet," he admitted as he got to his feet and headed to the bathroom.

When the door shut behind him, Jessica advanced on Raylan, keeping her voice down.

"What do you mean I've made him scared of himself? His... condition has been assessed by some of the top mental health experts in New York; I'm only telling you what they told me."

As far as she was concerned, he was right to be scared of what he might do when he was under because it was scary.

The kiss to his temple was nice, earning a broad, closed lipped smile that kept his face curled as he collected his coffee cup and found his spot against the counter. The smile slipped off as Jessica came back at him again, a seriousness slipping into his features.

"You don't want me to answer this question. Doesn't matter anyway, you've told him so long how terrifyingly fragile he is, he doesn't know any other way of existing. I hear good things about therapy, you could figure it out there."

Dr. Givens, he was not.

She crossed her arms and considered him. "His mind is frail," she informed him.

"And you're so terrified of your own son that you would rather look away then try to help him. You think being left alone to comfort himself with said frail mind is a good thing? Did that-" he gestured past them both towards the bed, "- look like he was worse for havin' gotten a damn hug?"

He was honestly asking at this point; he didn't know how she could stand that.

She looked uncomfortable, more than anything. She loved her children, but had never been much of a hugger. Sure, when Malcolm escaped from Watkins she'd clung to him, but that wasn't a daily occurrence, except that she did have a daily fear of losing him to some terrifying unseen force.

"He looks very happy with you," she finally said in an even tone.

It wasn't an answer to the question, but it also was.

Raylan stared at her a long moment, expression softening around the edges back to a calmer one.

"I can't imagine what it was like having to raise two kids by yourself," he started, voice equally soft. "And you got them to adulthood the best way you knew how. I'm the last to judge here, mine's not even talkin'. Alls I'm tryin' to do is help him."

It wasn't a competition. He didn't want it to be turned into that somehow. And after all the
therapists and pills, if a little human connection helped, if doing something different got a better result then it was a good thing, not a victory to be lorded over anyone.

She pushed her hair behind her ear, looking at little relieved at being off the hot seat.

"I was a little concerned about how much older you are than he is," she confessed. "But maybe the perspective is good for him."

She stepped past him to pour a cup of tea, so Raylan would be closer to Malcolm when he came back into the room.

"In the end, I just want him to be happy. I know the things I've wanted for him haven't always been..."

She heard the bathroom door open and stopped, taking a studious sip of her tea as Malcolm noted Raylan and smiled at him, slipping past him with a hand lingering at his hip a moment before reaching up to get a mug and pour a coffee from the french press.

"And what brings you by this morning, Mother?" he asked, taking a sip. "I don't suppose you've come to tell me you changed your mind and we're going to tell them the truth," he guessed dryly.

"Absolutely not," she said firmly. "The nurses said you left late last night. I didn't realize you had... company." She looked at Malcolm. "Your father was the same this morning. Don't feel obliged to hang around there all day."

He didn't blame her on that worry; he had it himself sometimes, but Malcolm dealt with it very swiftly when he caught wind of it. Jessica's sudden cut off had him looking towards the bathroom door, smiling softly back at Malcolm and letting his free off hand slide over Malcolm's forearm as he went by.

"We won't wander from the general area for the most part, just in case," he assured before going back to hiding behind his coffee cup to listen to the back and forth.

"I need to go see Gil," Malcolm said conversationally.

Jessica held up a finger at him. "No. Don't even think about telling him anything other than what we've already told him. Don't you dare put him in that position."

Malcolm just stared at her for a second. "I want to tell him I'm okay to work while... this is going on. If I phone him, he won't believe me."

Jessica shifted her weight. "Oh. Well. I suppose that would be okay."

Raylan noticed that pitch in Jessica's voice, that same protective pitch she used when talking about Malcolm and it left a seed of idea in the back of his head that he kept to himself.

"You think he'll let you work?" Well, who was he kidding. Who was going to stop Malcolm from working. It was a silly question, but out there now.

Malcolm grinned at him.

"It'll get me out of his office," he pointed out.

Raylan scoffed a chuckle, bobbing his head in concession. "Can't say I haven't done the same to Art. Just let me catch a shower first before we go; this hair ain't gonna tame itself."

Malcolm looked like he wanted to say something about that, but was suddenly acutely aware of his mother's presence.

She decided she needed to see Gil before Malcolm did, however, and set her cup down.

"I'm glad to see you're feeling all right, darling," she told him, sweeping around the counter to pick up her coat and slip it on. "I have to go. Legal things. You understand."

She didn't wait for a response before disappearing out the door. Malcolm just looked at the door for a moment, then walked over to it and slipped the chain on. He looked at Raylan.

"Did you say 'shower'? Because I feel like I still smell like hospital."

Raylan watched her leave, only slightly worried that he was the cause of it, but that worry left with Jessica and he found an easy smile on his face as Malcolm slid the chain home.

"I did.. And you do," he teased, grinning. "Wanna come join me?"

"Yes, please!" he said, already peeling off his t-shirt and throwing it towards the bedroom as he padded towards the bathroom. He looked over at Raylan with a grin. "I would like to attempt taming that hair," he teased back.

There was that morning perk he was used to seeing and Raylan pushed off the counter, abandoning his coffee cup on the island to pull off his own shirt and toss it on the couch, following Malcolm into the bathroom.

"Might need a whip or somethin'." His belt led to his jeans and his boxers off in one go, leaving him just as quickly naked as Malcolm would be aside from his watch that was pulled off and set on the counter before he stepped into the shower.

"Really though, are you doin' okay?"

Malcolm smiled softly at him, reaching up to push his fingers through Raylan's hair to help wet it through.

"Well. I stabbed my father in the heart and, if I screwed it up and he dies, my mother could go to prison, so no." He looked up at Raylan's face with naked adoration. "But you're here, so yes."

He tilted his head back a little to help with that, keeping Malcolm in his vision under slitted lids as his hands slipped around his waist. "You know I'm just a call away after I leave.. Don't hesitate to reach out. I wish I could stay here but I've gotta keep a short leash on Ava. She's helpin' us get Boyd."

"I definitely want you where you can get Boyd," Malcolm told him. "The sooner you're done with him, the sooner you're all mine," he declared.

"Just another month or two. Can't imagine that Boyd Crowder resists the hillbilly call of blowin' something up longer than that. Art already knows I want a transfer back to Miami and they've got a spot open, kept for me." He was serious about what he'd promised. He wanted that life.

"So no getting thrown in prison for murder in the meantime."

His brief laugh was also almost half a sob as he squeezed shampoo into his hand and started pushing it through Raylan's hair.

He loved doing that.

And Miami had a spot saved for Raylan already. This could be real all the time. All he had to do was not fuck it up...

He looked at Raylan. "At this rate we might find a place in Miami before we find a place in Lexington," he noted.

Not that he was going to count on Boyd going smoothly to prison; he'd carry on with the plan until the plan changed.

The first time Malcolm had washed his hair, Raylan let it happen because it was cute but now he genuinely enjoyed the care and tenderness, not to mention the fingers, that Malcolm put into it, into him, every time.

"I wouldn't complain about that, but I don't want to go two or more months without seeing you and you don't want me stayin' at that bar." They were on the same page about carrying on with the plan. "You probably don't want me accidently drawin' down on your mother again either."

That got a bark of actual full on laughter.

"You drew on her?" He smirked, stepping Raylan back into the spray to rinse. "Well, maybe she'll learn to knock."

It wasn't like he was going to actually shoot her. It could be good for her.

He stepped him back out of the spray to work conditioner into his hair.

"She handled it surprisingly well," he praised, not bothering to hide his surprise as he tilted his head back and helped with one hand to rinse the suds out. He didn't think Jessica would take to knocking but he was sure she'd pay more attention to who was in Malcolm's bed the next time she walked in.

"But we got to talk a little while you slept. I think I did okay. Passable, anyway," he continued as he let Malcolm work the conditioner in, grabbing the soap himself so he could wet it in the shower and start soaping up whatever part of Malcolm was facing him. "What's your plan for the day, visit to Gil aside."

Would they end up back at the hospital to watch over Martin again? Raylan was here for Malcolm and would let him dictate what he needed.

He took a breath and addressed the question first.

"I don't know," he admitted. "I feel... untethered." He shifted his gaze from his fingers working conditioner through Raylan's hair to Raylan's face. "I'm glad you're here. Thank you for coming," he said wholeheartedly.

He took a breath, his eyes wandering back to his work.

"What did you and my mother talk about?" he asked curiously.

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