No One's Born Broken

[abrightboy]

For tinstar.



Gil came and went. Dani came and went. Ainsley came and then left with their mother, who refused to even hear him out about telling the truth. He stared through the window at the motionless man in the bed for some indeterminate amount of time, his hand clutching his phone in his pocket.

Finally he let his eyes leave the figure through the window and he took his phone out of his pocket. He stared at that for a long moment, then scrolled through his contacts until one name rolled onto the screen: Raylan Givens.

He looked through the window, then looked at the name. Then he pressed it.

Comments

[abrightboy]

Malcolm's eyes widened slightly and he made a little "Oh!" as he looked at the shelf and picked out a bottle.

"I think this one today," he said, handing it to Raylan. "It's cheerful."

[tinstar]

"Cheerful? How is a smell cheerful?" he asked, face full of laughter as he squirted a healthy dollop into his hands and pulled Malcolm out of the spray, working the thicker stuff into Malcolm's hair before turning around so the spray was against his back.

"How are you this cheerful? Comin' up outta what you do every night."

[abrightboy]

He considered that for a moment.

"There was a movie I liked when I was a kid called 'The Neverending Story', and in one scene, the hero has to get through the Swamp of Sadness, but if you let the sadness overwhelm you, it'll suck you down to your death. The only way to survive was to stay above it. Inside my head there's just a constant reel of horror and tragedy, so focusing on good things... keeps me above it."

He looked up at Raylan. "There are some really good things lately."

[tinstar]

"I told you that you deserved good things," he said, only half teasing because the words tugged at his heart in a way that made him want to push Malcolm against the wall and kiss him until they sunk together as one many armed creature again.

Despite all that, his face slipped into a soft seriousness. "Maybe, after a while, some of this will settle into your head and give you some peace to go along with it."

They were getting sappy again. Raylan's solution was to step back and tilt his head back, letting the water carry away his conditioner. If nothing else and least importantly of all, his hair was going to be fantastic after living with Malcolm for more than a week.

[abrightboy]

Malcolm ducked his head, huffing a laugh.

"It's nice to hear that from someone who's not saying it while breaking up with me," he conceded, picking up the soap to start spreading it over Raylan's chest and shoulders, then down his stomach. "I'm hoping some of the good things take up a residence eventually," he said, glancing up at Raylan's face, which was definitely one of the good things.

[tinstar]

"I'll tell you every morning if you want," he replied with a pull of his smile as he finished rinsing out his hair, stomach tensing a little in a delightful awareness of Malcolm's hands moving across him. Once his hair was cleaned, he slid his hands over and around Malcolm's neck to watch his face carefully.

"You know that if it doesn't, that's okay too right? We can hope but my feelings won't be hurt if it doesn't." Okay, it would a little, but that was his problem to deal with and not Malcolm's. He just wanted to head off any guilt or disappointment before it came with realistic expectations.

[abrightboy]

His hands paused, splayed across Raylan's stomach as Raylan's hands directed his gaze up to his face.

Something flickered across his features, followed by a watery smile.

Raylan was saying that his getting better or being 'fixed' somehow wasn't a condition of staying with him and nobody had ever explicitly told him that before. Some part of him expected that even Raylan had a point where this going on forever would become Too Much, but he hoped they wouldn't reach it too quickly once they actually lived together. He really, really wanted that day to never come. Maybe it wouldn't.

He set the soap on the shelf and slid his arms around Raylan, pressing his cheek into Raylan's shoulder, holding him tightly.

[tinstar]

Had no one told him that before? That was the only thing he could gather from that passing look before Malcolm was pressing himself back into his shoulder. Raylan slid one hand up into his hairline as the other wrapped around his shoulder, and he had a feeling that Malcolm had been needing a good hug like this since the barnacle like one that Raylan had been greeted with.

Note to self: Hug often.

A beat later, Raylan was whispering. "I hope you've got a big hot water tank." Because they were using it.

[abrightboy]

A choked laugh as he realized, yes, they were using all the hot water. Slowly he let go and picked up the soap again, resuming his careful tending to Raylan's body like it was the holiest site in the world and he was making an offering.

"Will you come to the precinct with me?"

He hadn't actually asked.

[tinstar]

Raylan watched him carefully as he pulled back, hand coming around to his jaw for a moment before settling over Malcolm's shoulder. He didn't want to stop touching him yet, soaping or not.

"Yeah, if you want me to. I've got nothing planned outside of booking my ticket back to Lexington and I'm not ready to think about when I'm leavin' yet. And maybe my bein' there will help Gil go a little easier on you, not that he seems to stand too firm when you've got your mind set on something."

Something else he loved about Malcolm. No one got anywhere in life by always doing what they were told.

[abrightboy]

Malcolm couldn't help smiling fondly when Raylan mentioned Gil.

"He knows when I can't be convinced," he admitted. "But he's known me a long time."

[tinstar]

"Doesn't mean he won't try. I know Art would." Raylan glanced down, one hand covering Malcolm's soap having one to steal it and slide it around and up his back. "And he's only known me for twenty years. Which isn't much longer than you and Gil, is it. Who'd figure you'd end up working for slash with him."

But it suited Malcolm and they all knew it. Unstable enough to avoid having a badge, brilliant enough to be in the middle of the shit anyway.

[abrightboy]

"I've worked with-slash-for him before," he said with a grin. "When I was a kid, sometimes he'd take me on stakeouts with him. Get me out of my mother's hair."

[tinstar]

That made Raylan huff a laugh. "Really? And she let that happen? Did you help then too? 15 year old Malcolm bookin' it down the street after a robber?"

[abrightboy]

Malcolm laughed. "I almost never saw action on those stakeouts," he admitted. "But once I watched Gil chase down an extortionist. He made me promise to wait in the car. It was before I knew better than not to promise that."

[tinstar]

Raylan chuckled as he brought the soap around to Malcolm's front, soaping his stomach and lower stomach slowly. "How long has he been lead Detective? He feels like a serial Cop."

One of those guys who got in young and for the right reasons that stuck around until he couldn't physically work anymore.

[abrightboy]

"He made lead while I was in D.C., so I don't know exactly when, but he was in uniform when he arrested my father. He made detective pretty quickly after that, though."

Gil was the model of what a police officer should be, in Malcolm's opinion. But he wasn't exactly unbiased.

[tinstar]

"Mm," Raylan hummed with a nod, soaping hand moving up to Malcolm's chest and over each of his shoulders. "Makes a pretty good dad too, it sounds like."

Malcolm had it all, bad and good alike. He was just as lucky as he was unlucky.

"Your mother always been so protective of him? She reacted pretty quickly to your going to see him." Raylan set the soap aside, stepping back enough to rinse his front free of the soap before turning Malcolm around into the spray.

[abrightboy]

Malcolm canted his head.

"Do you think she was protecting him? I thought she was manipulating me. ....Maybe she was doing both."

He shrugged.

"I wouldn't put Gil in that position anyway. If I was willing to do that, I'd have told him already."

[tinstar]

"She was worried about how you were going to affect him; that wasn't for you, that was for Gil." He was sure of it. He'd bet his badge, even if Jessica would likely never come out and admit it. The Whitly's had that problem.

"You're good not to. He's not in the same position that I'm in, he's got stricter rules and you do more good out of cuffs than in them."

[abrightboy]

"Oh. I thought she knew I wouldn't keep it a secret to protect myself," he reasoned, tilting his head back to let the spray wash the conditioner out of his hair, "but because I love Gil, I wouldn't put him in the middle."

He fell silent for a moment.

"But I did it," he said much more quietly.

[tinstar]

"Oh," Raylan assured with a huff of a laugh and sure lift of his eyebrows. "We all know that." That was not a secret to anyone who knew Malcolm Bright. At the soft, lost statement, Raylan stepped forward the half inch he needed to, to wrap his arms around Malcolm and draw him in against him.

"Yes. You stabbed your father. And unless you're lookin' for an award or some shiny bracelets, you'll let this thing work itself out. You're familiar with the law; this guy that pressured you is the cause of this. I know it's not.. exactly right to not say anything. But you've.." Raylan sighed deeply and rested his lips against Malcolm's forehead. "You don't have to hunt down a cross. Your mother won't ever see the inside of a cell for this. The system works in her favor."

[abrightboy]

He really, really hoped so, but it was hard to dispute the steady confidence and quiet warmth that was Raylan.

"I hope Gil has some work for me. I need the distraction."

Especially with Raylan going home by the end of the day.

"At least until they decide if they're charging her."

[tinstar]

"At this point, I hope he does too. Keep your hands busy. If he does, I can go get lunch or something, so long as I get to see you before I go. You'll keep me up on things, right? Can't get me up here and then leaving me on a curious Marshal Hook."

That and he'd leave worried, regardless.

Raylan ran his hands up and down the outside of Malcolm's shoulders with a soft smile. "C'mon. Let's go see how busy the precinct is today."

[abrightboy]

Raylan had a way of making everything seem surmountable, with his quiet confidence.

Of course he'd let him know what happened. And Raylan had preempted his concern that, if he took a case, he'd miss saying goodbye.

Malcolm looked far more at ease walking into the precinct next to Raylan that morning than he had the previous day, making a beeline for Gil's office.

Gil was sitting at his desk, sipping coffee from his Yankees mug, looking up when Malcolm and Raylan came in.

"Deputy Givens," he said with a nod, before looking at Malcolm. "Bright. I thought you might take a couple days off after all that."

Malcolm just gave him a look. When did he ever take time off after something stressful happened? Rather the opposite.

Gil looked at Raylan. "Couldn't talk him into it either, huh?" he noted mildly.