No One's Born Broken

[abrightboy]

For tinstar.



Gil came and went. Dani came and went. Ainsley came and then left with their mother, who refused to even hear him out about telling the truth. He stared through the window at the motionless man in the bed for some indeterminate amount of time, his hand clutching his phone in his pocket.

Finally he let his eyes leave the figure through the window and he took his phone out of his pocket. He stared at that for a long moment, then scrolled through his contacts until one name rolled onto the screen: Raylan Givens.

He looked through the window, then looked at the name. Then he pressed it.

Comments

[tinstar]

Raylan met each one, smile inching up incrementally. He loved the hand in his shirt and how endlessly happy Malcolm seemed to just see him and have him there.

"Good. Do it. I know you're in a spot right now, but I am selfish lookin' forward to havin' you more easily in my arms. I know it hasn't been two months but absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder, it just hurts." It hurt to have to go back to the way he was before, to not have any arms he trusted to fall into, to not have anyone he could show his heart to.

"An apartment for two or three months is better than me livin' above a bar and I need a place to be with you." To be with him, no masks, no worries, no stringent rules only he followed.

[abrightboy]

Malcolm didn't think anything could beat Raylan telling him that he loved him, but that blunt confession went straight to his heart.

He slid his arm around Raylan's neck, kissing him a lot more intently. Like he got life from it. When it broke, he stayed close, lingering there in his space.

"In psychology they talk about the unique adaptability that humans have," he explained softly. "They say we can adapt to anything. But it doesn't get easier being away from you. It gets harder and harder."

His voice broke a little on the last word. Everything going on was Too Much. He took a deep, steadying breath.

[tinstar]

The sudden kiss had Raylan pushing and pulling Malcolm's weight on top of him because one arm and a kiss, however intense, wasn't enough, even as he met the kiss with equal fervor. God he hated that he had to leave; that he couldn't have this every night. He was already missing Malcolm in advance and that realization was a towering one.

Raylan was prepping for the dry spell coming.

"It's all these stupid brilliant promises we've been talking about," Raylan whispered, hand coming up to slide up and around Malcolm's jaw. "We just gotta make it til then. Temper in the fire or some shit."

That's how he normally took it; nothing was going to kill him that wasn't going to Kill him like the job risked his life, but Malcolm Bright had demanded and gotten some secret part of Raylan Givens. He'd hurt a lot over his life; this was the first time he'd admitted it out loud since he was small.

[abrightboy]

As Malcolm found himself on top of Raylan, his pinned arm freed, he slid it up to grasp Raylan's shoulder.

"It's not like we can't talk," Malcolm conceded, kissing Raylan's cheekbone and the corner of his mouth and his jaw. "We can make it."

He lifted his head to look into Raylan's face. "I wanted to come to the airport with you, but I don't know if it's a good idea," he confessed. "Everything has just..." He made a helpless gesture with one hand before grasping Raylan's shoulder again. "So much right now. ...And I think I might be too emotional. I don't... I'll embarrass you," he admitted uncomfortably.

[tinstar]

He could only hum short sounds at each of Malcolm's kiss, hands slipping around and up Malcolm's back while the other secured him against Raylan at the waist. Yeah, they'd make it, but it would suck.

Hazel eyes focused on Malcolm's face as he pulled back and the further he got, the stronger the urge to shake his head that Raylan caved too before Malcolm got too far into it.

"No. It's probably better if you don't. I came to help, not add more crap to your plate." He wanted to end this on the highest note that he could and one hand came back up to grip Malcolm's neck gently. "If you slept like anyone else, I'd slip out then, but that escape route isn't a viable option," he murmured before pulling Malcolm down into a kiss. "I've still got an hour, but not much else and I plan on taking advantage of it," he said, kissing Malcolm again more deeply than before as his off hand fisted into the back of Malcolm's otherwise pressed shirt.

[abrightboy]

Malcolm put his whole heart in that kiss, humming against Raylan's mouth before it broke.

"You always help," he gasped breathlessly, shifting his weight to start unbuttoning Raylan's shirt with needful, fumbling fingers. "Being near you is the cure for everything bad."

[tinstar]

The way the kiss heated and the gasp that Malcolm gave as the kiss broke sent Raylan's blood back to fiery need that would quickly build up in his everything as the grasp at the small of Malcolm's back tugged his shirt free of his pants so he could get a hand under it and onto his skin. The intoxicating pull of Malcolm's words only made him want to lose himself in touching and worshiping this oddly fractured profiler that had turned his world upside down.

The sooner that Malcolm was down with him permanently, the better.

Raylan didn't bother answering, he just arched up to capture Malcolm's lips again as his off hand roamed over Malcolm's ass, hips lifting into him.

[abrightboy]

Malcolm kissed Raylan back hungrily, pushing blindly at the shirt to push it off his shoulders, reaching between them to tug at Raylan's undershirt. He wanted to feel Raylan's skin against his skin.

[tinstar]

Raylan pushed up against Malcolm so he could pull off his top shirt and let Malcolm peel his undershirt off, eager hands coming to tug and pull Malcolm's tie loose before he broke the kiss with a roll of his head so he could half eyeball Malcolm's buttons. One hand came around to clumsily work the buttons loose so he could push Malcolm's shirt off his shoulders, just as eager to get them furiously naked and together again.

[abrightboy]

Malcolm tossed his shirt away, along with Raylan's undershirt, leaning down to kiss him, sliding his hands over Raylan's shoulders.

Straddling his hips, Malcolm slid his hands down Raylan's chest as he sat up and paused.

"...Is this a bullet hole?" he asked, running his finger over a divot there.

[tinstar]

He hummed a rough note into the kiss as Malcolm's hands spread over his shoulders, his own moving across and around Malcolm's ribs as he sat up, only to settle briefly on his hips. His fingers had started to tug Malcolm's belt loose when the smaller man paused and fingered a familiar dent in his chest.

He bent his head to look down before letting it fall back. "Yeah. About a year, year and a half old now. Got unlucky.." Malcolm was sharp and well versed enough to deduce what Raylan might have suffered for it, so Raylan didn't bother elaborating. Pity and sympathy wasn't something he was used to, and that wouldn't ever change.

[abrightboy]

Malcolm leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss there, before continuing along the lean lines of his body to reach his belt, tugging it open, then his button and fly so he could start shimmying his pants down over his hips.

He knew how 'unlucky' could go. He'd been recently stabbed.

[tinstar]

The kiss was sweet; more than, and plenty to convey all Malcolm needed it to. Raylan's fingers continued their task, tugging Malcolm's belt and button open before Malcolm was scooting back out of his reach. As his pants were being shimmied down, he was hastily toeing and kicking off his boots to make shucking his pants off easier.

Malcolm was crazy if he thought that Raylan was going to not reach for him back as soon as his pants were off.

[abrightboy]

Malcolm pushed his own pants off while he was there, then slid back up Raylan's body, his hand trailing up Raylan's ribs, eager to kiss him again now that they were properly entwined, skin to skin, his other hand threading up into Raylan's hair. As the kiss broke, he smiled warmly - happily - almost right against his mouth before kissing him again.

Everything was manageable when Raylan was with him. Everything.

[tinstar]

He breathed out a little moan of satisfaction as Malcolm slid up against him again, just as eager to meet that kiss and wrap him back into the security of Raylan's arms. Raylan leaned into him as his hair was invaded and smiled back at the smile he felt against him, humming again as he sank back into the bed, bringing Malcolm with him.

Raylan's hands spread up over his thighs and hips, pulling him close as he breathed him in and enjoyed the warmth of skin. But the more they kissed, the more he was stirred and he hitched a rough sound as their cocks rubbed together, soliciting another lift of his hips.

[abrightboy]

Malcolm also gasped at that friction and, after another very thorough kiss, tore himself away from Raylan to rummage in the bedside table for lube. He practically pounced back into Raylan's arms, the tube clutched in his hand, for a heated kiss.

[tinstar]

Raylan's everything followed Malcolm for a moment as he tore himself away and readily accepted the near pounce back onto him with a spread of his smile as he met the new kiss just as hungrily. He spread his hands up Malcolm's back pinning him momentarily against his chest before he relented, hands moving again over and down Malcolm's frame to grab his ass as they kissed.

Not in any rush, Raylan was taking his time and letting Malcolm drive the speed at which they moved.

[abrightboy]

Malcolm was wavering on a fine line between a sort of bliss and a sort of mania. He wanted to feel this instead of everything he felt in the hospital. He wanted to linger in the way Raylan's lightest touch made his heart full. He wanted to linger in feeling wanted. In feeling really loved, exactly the way he was, whether he could get better or not. In happiness. In the idea of an actual future that seemed increasingly tangible if still infuriatingly far away.

His need was almost desperate in the way he pressed against Raylan as he kissed him, how he responded to his touch, every noise that he couldn't help from the back of his throat, how he clutched the tube he hadn't opened yet because he was already overwhelmed, but he still wanted that too.

The kiss broke and he lifted his head to look at Raylan's face, his gaze wandering it tenderly, his free hand coming up trail down his cheek, then to cup his jaw as he kissed him one more time before, already a little breathless, he sat up, shuffling back a little as he popped the tube open, spreading lube over Raylan's length.

[tinstar]

He could sense the conflict, the undecided mania, and could only lean into it. Too soon he'd have to leave and go back to a place that he hated as much as he loved, in all it's complexities; go back to pretending that he was empty. Go back to being kept company by his gun and whiskey bottle instead of being warmed by Malcolm's affection.

Raylan was breathless too by the time the kiss broke, and his eyes searched Malcolm's with a hint of worry - had something happened? Was he okay? But the hand at his cheek and the way Malcolm looked at him eased those concerns and Raylan nipped at his lips as they kissed again, letting a little noise pull from his throat as Malcolm pulled back again.

Letting out an uneven shuddering breath as Malcolm's hand worked him, Raylan's stomach tightened and jumped as he involuntarily pressed himself up into the touch, and he kept his eyes on Malcolm, soaking in as much of him as he could in the moment.

[abrightboy]

After a few generously lubricated strokes, Malcolm squeezed a bead onto his fingers and reached back to apply it to himself, if only because you couldn't have too much. Then he tossed the tube aside, leaning down for a hungry kiss, then slowly working himself onto Raylan's cock, breathing out a deep breath as he settled him all the way in before he started moving in a slow but increasingly urgent rhythm, his eyes falling to Raylan's face.

[tinstar]

Raylan moaned into the breaking kiss as Malcolm worked himself down, hips twitching as he resisted the urge to thrust, eyes fluttering before they half opened and locked on Malcolm's face to watch the passing pleasure of being fully seated. He moved his hands up, one tucking into where Malcolm's hip met his thigh, right hand moving up onto his ribs as they started moving, his own hips matching speed as he caught another sound behind his teeth.

"Fuck you feel good," he managed roughly, gaze finally breaking away to take in the rest of the image of Malcolm riding him.

[abrightboy]

Malcolm breathed out a smile at that, unable to keep himself from picking up the rhythm. He leaned forward, propping his hands on Raylan's shoulders, looking down into his face like he was soaking it up, his breath shallow and ragged.

After a moment, he sat up a little without breaking the rhythm, reaching down to stroke himself in time with them, ready to meet Raylan where he was at.

[tinstar]

Despite what he might have wanted to do, his body was running on automatic, and he felt himself not just matching but pushing up into every thrust, more than eager to feel them together again and again.

As Malcolm sat back, Raylan groaned again, fingers denting into Malcolm's hips. God that was the best sight, watching Malcolm work himself without anything that followed him haunting his face, and maybe it was a bit of ego, but the fact that it was him driving the smaller man to distraction only made Raylan thrust harder.

He wasn't going to last long, and this time, it was Malcolm that got the warning, a rough cursing of his name before Raylan was unloading into him with a pinched face and a bowing body.

[abrightboy]

Better than distraction. Raylan had a net positive effect on him that beat the hell out of all the medication he'd been taking most of his life.

Raylan just managing to grunt his name before he came was some kind of magic. He let his head fall back as he rode it out, his own orgasm following messily onto Raylan's stomach as he stilled with a strangled sound, lingering there a moment until he felt he could get his legs under him again.

Still breathing a little heavily, he untangled himself from Raylan and padded to the bathroom, giving himself a quick wipe before returning with a warm, damp washcloth to gently clean Raylan up before tossing it onto the pants he'd previously discarded on the floor and crawling onto the bed to curl up alongside his lover.

He pressed kisses to Raylan's temple and cheekbone and jaw.

"How long do we have?" he murmured, burying his face in the crook of Raylan's neck.

[tinstar]

Raylan was still breathless by the time that Malcolm curled up beside him, having meet all the little kisses with faint leans of his face into the affection and it was with a deep breath that he shifted to tangle himself back around Malcolm, legs and all. He pressed his face into Malcolm's hair to breathe in the faint prick of sex underneath the shampoo he'd used that morning.

'Hopelessly in love' would be how he'd later internally articulate it.

Humming softly, Raylan looked at his watch. "'Bout an hour if I'm bein' safe."

A long beat passed. "I don't wanna go," he whispered. He had to. He wanted to if only to get what he needed to get done, done and get back to this. "Let's just.." He sighed deeply. "Lay here for 85% of it. Give you somethin' to remember tonight when you wake up." Give him something to hold onto since Raylan couldn't be there himself.

But his tone said it all - stiff upper lip or something like that. There was no use in being childish and lounging in their misery; better to look at the silver linings, what few there were.