Voicemail (IC Contact Post) OLD - at capcha

[abrightboy]

 This is Bright. Leave a message.

Comments

[cactusy]

Is Will really your first time... uh...

[She's not hesitating out of embarrassment, she's just suddenly unsure whether she wants to say dating someone, screwing someone, or living with someone.]

[abrightboy]

[Her hesitation means he assumes the question that would be the most embarrassing to ask and he answers it emphatically.]

It's not the first time I've had sex.

[cactusy]

That part doesn't surprise me; you don't even wanna know what I assumed about those headboard restraints when I first saw them.

[abrightboy]

The same thing most people assume, probably. I've never used them for that.

[cactusy]

Yeah, I figured that out when you said they were for night terrors. But, uh-- this is your first time actually dating someone? Or living with them even part-time?

[abrightboy]

My last girlfriend had a key to my apartment. This is the first time someone has slept in my bed. With me, I mean. All night.

[cactusy]

And I'm guessing that hasn't been... your choice.

Look, you don't have to answer all this; I'm just trying your getting-to-know-you thing.

[abrightboy]

It was sort of my choice. That’s why Will waited so long. For me to be ready. I was scared I’d hurt him.

[cactusy]

Okay, I'm gonna remind you again that even if you'd slept together the day you'd started dating, that still wouldn't've been "so long" ago, but besides that - you mean because of the night terrors? They're that bad?

[Buddypal that is actually concerning, are you okay, you are clearly not okay]

[abrightboy]

….We did sleep together that day. And yes. They’re very violent. And loud.

[cactusy]

... Do you know Sheehan?

[abrightboy]

[He makes a face.]

Yes.

[cactusy]

Okay... clearly not in a good way.

What about people besides Graham that you feel comfortable with?

[abrightboy]

We get along okay now. Are you back on the therapy thing? I talk to several other people who aren’t Will. All the time.

[cactusy]

You talk to them about the night terrors?

[abrightboy]

Some of them know about them.

[cactusy]

But I mean, do you try to... I don't know. Process them.

[abrightboy]

I don’t need help with that. I know what they’re about. I’ve been working on them with my therapist at home since I was eleven. I already have methods for dealing with them.

[cactusy]

What about methods for fixing them, or dealing with that root cause?

[abrightboy]

The unprocessed trauma? I’ve had professional help with it for twenty years. What’s anyone here going to do about it?

[cactusy]

... Keep getting help with it?

[She sighs, pinches the bridge of her nose, and says grudgingly:]

I, uh-- I have C-PTSD, too.

[abrightboy]

Who here is fixing yours?

[cactusy]

No one's fixing it. I don't know how fixable it is. But there are people who help some. B, Sheehan, Eiffel. Mostly people you don't... like, I guess, which is why I wondered if you had your own.

[abrightboy]

What about ‘I talk to a bunch of people who aren’t Will’ means I don’t?

Also I don’t dislike them, they dislike me.

[cactusy]

I mean talking about that stuff specifically, not just casual friend chatting.