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abrightboy

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From:

deuceoftears

There's a lot of people's files he hasn't read. Nor will nor should he, in many cases. But it is a factor.

From:

abrightboy

A factor in what?

From:

deuceoftears

Just...fraught situations, in general.

From:

abrightboy

…Okay. So… talk to the person and let me know?

From:

deuceoftears

I will.

[ - Some 24 hours later -]

Well, the good news is, to my knowledge you haven't missed anyone.

From:

abrightboy

Um. Okay. Cool. Does ‘the good news is’ mean there’s bad news?

From:

deuceoftears

Maybe. It's Sebastian I spoke to; he's interpreted your apology in a way I hope is incorrect, as well as uncharitable.

From:

abrightboy

…I told him I was completely out of line and exhibited behaviour that wouldn’t be acceptable coming from anyone. Which part did he object to?

From:

deuceoftears

I'm afraid he took "It just wasn't acceptable behaviour on anyone's part," to imply that he was equally in the wrong. On anyone's part referring to the behavior of everyone involved, rather than your hypothetical position.

Which - frankly, awkwardly phrased, but Sebastian does make something of a sport of uncharitable readings, that's not all on you. I'm glad to hear you meant the other thing.

From:

abrightboy

Well, I think trying to clear it up even more will just… continue to have an increasingly opposite effect, so… I should probably just let it stand.

From:

deuceoftears

Probably, yes. I'm quite fond of Sebastian, but he can be extremely petty.

[This is actually one of the things Jedao likes about him, but it's definitely Difficult.]

You said things before, about losing your temper. I don't...I don't lose my temper. It wasn't safe, in my life. For that to happen. I get angry. But when I'm angry I don't...well. I don't do much of anything. I go very still, if I don't have another facade I need to keep up.

When I imagine losing my temper, I imagine saying a lot of things I do mean, but that would be...unfair, or cruel to say. So I normally choose not to say them. I imagine hurting people, physically, even though I believe that's generally wrong. But I don't imagine saying things I don't mean.

I didn't expect you to apologize. I misjudged you, and I'm sorry for that. That's the most important thing.

But I would...like to know, if you're willing to tell me, whether making mistakes means you think the things you said to Sebastian initially weren't true, or if you just think they shouldn't have been said to him.

'Fuck off, Jedao, I don't answer to you,' is a perfectly reasonable answer.

From:

abrightboy

Of course I didn’t mean them. I don’t even know him.

From:

deuceoftears

[Well, that's a relief. On the other hand, of course is doing a lot of work.]

People believe terrible things about people they don't know all the time.

[He points out mildly.]

From:

abrightboy

On some level they know it’s based on a stereotype, or one out of context moment, or their own imagination. They think terrible things about people they don’t know. They assume. They project. ‘Believe’ is a bit strong for most people, in that respect.

From:

deuceoftears

...please don't take this the wrong way, but I think you understand other people less well than you think you do.

From:

abrightboy

What’s the right way to take being told that I’m bad at my job?

From:

deuceoftears

Lots of people are also bad at their jobs. It's not a moral judgement.

I suppose you could say "well, I'm working on it," or you could change jobs again, or you could tell me I'm speculating from partial data. Or you could consider that whatever training you've gotten on Earth is insufficient to the breadth of the multiverse.

What exactly do you consider your job to be, anyway?

From:

abrightboy

I don’t mean my job here; I mean my real job. But I wasn’t asking you for career counselling. You told me not to take the following comment ‘the wrong way’; I was just curious how you imagined someone taking it the right way looked. When someone tells you not to take something the wrong way up front, it means they assume the balance of probability is that - without a disclaimer - most people would. Or does that also have a different meaning in the multiverse?

From:

deuceoftears

I imagine "You're over-estimating your skills" has the potential to upset people regardless of their level of professional investment.

The right way to take it is as an observation that might or might not be accurate or actionable. The wrong way to take it would be "this person is insulting me because they hate me," or perhaps, "how dare you insult me." I feel like you're doing fine so far, for the record.

I also meant your job in your own world. What is it?

From:

abrightboy

Behavioural analysis of murderers based on their crimes to aid in their detection and capture.

From:

deuceoftears

...ah.

[Several things fall into place.]

From:

abrightboy

I do keep telling people I’m a profiler, not a therapist.

[Because he thought they might and also they should.]

But apparently people can’t see Psychology as more than one thing.