Date: 2 Nov 2023 20:34 (UTC)
pharadyne: (pic#14615365)
From: [personal profile] pharadyne
I don't know. Difficult to predict what didn't happen. In the past, with other people, I've had it go both ways. Sometimes it's wonderful and I feel very close, and sometimes it creates a distance in me that wasn't there before. The opposite of intimacy.

Are you still attracted to me, even though you're with Will? [Since Malcolm's asking blunt and probing questions, Norton thinks turn about is fair play.]

Date: 3 Nov 2023 18:55 (UTC)
pharadyne: (watching)
From: [personal profile] pharadyne
I am, aren't I. But despite that being objectively true, not everyone is attracted to me.

Why did you choose Will? And not just why you like him, you're obviously well suited to each other, but since you're the sort who only choses one person, how did you decide to chose him? I was in the offing, and Neal would have waited for you until he graduated if you'd asked. Was it the timing, the circumstances, something else entirely?

Date: 6 Nov 2023 04:34 (UTC)
pharadyne: (pic#14399440)
From: [personal profile] pharadyne
The snogging wasn't a clue?

Golly, all three of us lined up would have been like the bloody Judgement of Paris. Trojan War on the horizon.

Date: 7 Nov 2023 06:43 (UTC)
pharadyne: (pic#14619539)
From: [personal profile] pharadyne
Point taken.

Just as well, maybe. I don't think you'd have been very happy with me, in the long run.

Date: 15 Nov 2023 19:26 (UTC)
pharadyne: (pic#14619539)
From: [personal profile] pharadyne
I think eventually you'd want more stability than I have in me to provide. Will might be a teensy bit nutters but he's solid. I don't think it's quite in my nature to be anyone's "home."

[And he sounds sad about that, wishes it could be otherwise. Although at least Neal's plan, that Raylan will be his home and Norton will flit about as his usual capricious self and always have a place, has reassured him that he won't lose Neal over it. Neal's found a way to have it all.]

Date: 17 Nov 2023 16:41 (UTC)
pharadyne: (watching)
From: [personal profile] pharadyne
Neither. It's just what I am. Everyone says so.

Date: 18 Nov 2023 17:46 (UTC)
pharadyne: (pic#14615365)
From: [personal profile] pharadyne
What do you think I am?

[As he says it, he thinks it's maybe not wise to ask a profiler that question, but too late now.]

Date: 23 Nov 2023 16:15 (UTC)
pharadyne: (beaming)
From: [personal profile] pharadyne
[Well. He can't say he didn't ask for it. Although as Malcolm adds details, Norton's shoulders hunch slightly like he's about to either pounce or curl up on himself.]

That's...a lot of thoughts.

If it helps, I don't believe in the goodness of a lot of people, not even a lot of the wardens here. [He laughs but it's a little too high-pitched.]

Date: 26 Nov 2023 21:25 (UTC)
pharadyne: (booze)
From: [personal profile] pharadyne
[That gets the laughter and too-bright smile to stop.]

I'm all for risky endeavours. Crack myself open and either the wall will be shattered or I'll be left broken and alone but either way it will be...real.

Date: 29 Nov 2023 04:35 (UTC)
pharadyne: (pic#14619506)
From: [personal profile] pharadyne
I know. [He says softly.]

But love isn't a magic potion that always makes everything okay.

Date: 30 Nov 2023 03:31 (UTC)
pharadyne: (solemn profile)
From: [personal profile] pharadyne
He hasn't had a chance to accept every part of me because I haven't shared the more unpleasant bits. And he's under no obligation to if it's too much. It's not as if we're under contract.

Date: 2 Dec 2023 03:36 (UTC)
pharadyne: (booze)
From: [personal profile] pharadyne
I hope you're right. But too many people haven't for me to be entirely confident. [Larry. Gideon. People he'd loved--although he'd never said so--and he thought loved him back, pushed him away when they saw the ruthless side of him.]

Date: 4 Dec 2023 04:08 (UTC)
pharadyne: (from behind)
From: [personal profile] pharadyne
Which is why I have to give him my inmate file, despite all my misgivings about it.
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