abrightboy | Voicemail (IC Contact Post) NEW

abrightboy

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From:

abrightboy

What do you need that for? So I meet your ethical bar for friendship? You’re not my counselling client and it’s not your business. Can I do anything reasonably in the purview of friendship for you?

From:

hippie_ninja

I'd like a friend who can own mistakes.

From:

abrightboy

I told you he came to my office for counselling and I told you that we were friends before we were anything more than that. And that’s true. And it wasn’t a mistake. I’d be with Will again under the same circumstances a thousand times. I’d be with Will under messier, more dubious circumstances another thousand times. Nothing I’ve done in my entire life has been less of a mistake than dating Will Graham. Nothing. So maybe the circumstances don’t meet your strict code for what constitutes a professional versus a personal relationship and that’s your right, to decide on your own moral standard. But I will never, ever, ever call being with Will a ‘mistake’ in any context. You can decide what that means for this fledgling friendship: you can drop me again or you can drop this idea that I need to admit that seeing Will is somehow wrong. It’s right. It’s the rightest thing I’ve ever done.

From:

hippie_ninja

This is why I don't respect your code of ethics. This is why I don't trust you when things are bad, when they're hard, when honesty is needed. So what kind of friend can you be? I don't know. Not a good one. Not one I'd really trust. But I don't hate you, and I'm not persecuting you.

From:

abrightboy

You think being loyal to the person I’m closest to and to our relationship makes me untrustworthy? How is that logical? I think you’re still trying to win the moral victory and that’s what matters to you, not me. You could let it go. How Will and I met. This isn’t an office in the city; this is a closed system. I’m not a doctor and I wasn’t his doctor. I was someone he talked to, because he needed to talk to someone and I volunteer for that and then because we had so much in common and understood each other so well and we became friends and we still went to each other to talk. And then one day he came to see me and…

[His voice trails off. Why is he telling Jesus this part? No. He doesn’t get that part. That night is sacred.]

Anyway. It wasn’t like we were strictly a professional deal and we got together by banging on my desk. So get over it. Or don’t. Whatever. You’re making it hard to trust and respect you, too, you know. By being a total dick about something that’s truly beautiful and important to me. It’s not asking for respect for you to ask me to shit on it if I want you to trust me. I don’t want it that much. Not enough to do that.

From:

hippie_ninja

You were his doctor and you keep lying about it to make yourself feel better. That's what I don't trust.

But yeah. I'm not going to be okay with you abusing a system that was there to help him, when he came to you for help. If we can't be friends, we can't be friends. I did everything I could. I have a clean conscience. It doesn't sound like you do.

From:

abrightboy

I'm not a doctor? I'm nobody's doctor. I don't understand what you don't understand: I'm not a doctor. And my conscience is totally clean about this, by the way. There was a little high school murder I still have some concerns about and I don't feel good to this day about letting my mother pretend it was her that stabbed my father the first time I did it, but she wouldn't let me confess. About Will, though? No regrets. None at all. If you ever get over yourself, give me a call.

From:

hippie_ninja

Then leave the counseling office. You shouldn't be there.

I don't want you treating Aaron anymore.

Edited Date: 7 Dec 2023 23:27 (UTC)

From:

abrightboy

…What? We’re doing good work. I’m helping him.

From:

hippie_ninja

You're not a doctor. You're no one's doctor.

And you slept with a patient. He's had enough of that in his life already.

From:

abrightboy

I’m a counsellor, though, and I’m helping him for real. He told me a truth he’d been too scared to say before, the last time we talked. We’re making progress. Are you suggesting I’d sexually abuse him?

From:

hippie_ninja

I'm suggesting I don't have any idea what to trust you with. You're profoundly dishonest, even with yourself. I'm not going to risk Aaron's well-being with someone who has no boundaries, even if you aren't interested in him. He needs someone who can hold a line.

From:

abrightboy

He needs someone he can trust not to hurt him. He needs someone he can feel safe with. He’s starting to feel safe. You’ll hurt him by taking that away.

From:

hippie_ninja

I don't trust you not to hurt him.

Just a consequence of banging Will on your desk, Malcolm.

From:

abrightboy

Were you listening? I didn’t do that. Are you really going to try to bully me into capitulating to your stupid ultimatum by threatening your own inmate’s wellbeing? Are you crazy? I was flippant when you were being serious because I thought what you wanted was stupid and I apologize for that, okay? Don’t do this.

From:

hippie_ninja

Every concern I have about you is still valid. You don't know where professional lines are, and when it's pointed out you've crossed them, you try to rewrite what you've done instead of just owning it.