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[abrightboy]

This is Bright. Leave a message.

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[abrightboy]

Jesus already knew about my relationship. He just didn’t find it completely reprehensible until professional counselling agreed with him, apparently. Also, as a professional in the workings of the human mind, I’d think that if I was expressing anger at him about one specific thing, he could work out that he would receive the opposite of anger for doing the opposite. Do you know for a fact that he’s changed his mind or are you looking for a logical way for the duelling ethics stances to just not be raging hypocrisy? Like I said, I’ve reached out to him trying to build a bridge a bunch of times and he’s not into it, but if he has changed his mind, I wouldn’t bite his head off for contacting me about it.

[lestercraft]

Knowing logically that the approach of explaining things to you might yield something positive pales in comparison to the reality that every time you have a conversation someone's head gets bitten off.

[Not naming names, Malcolm Bite.]

If every conversation of yours plays out the same way, the logical result would be that he has no reason to suspect you'd believe him on having a change of perspective, nor that you'd respond differently to the news except to accuse him of further hypocrisy - whether he has changed is irrelevant in the face of your evidential hatred of him. Emotions don't listen to logic, Bright, they dictate them, and so long as you hold on to this fury, you won't have any reason to hear him out.

[abrightboy]

I don't hate him. All my fury wants to hear him say is that he's willing to entertain a different perspective. I didn't start furious, Arthur. It built up over time.

I haven't bitten your head off for bringing it up. I can talk about it. I'd like to resolve things. Like I said: I tried. His exact words the last time I reached out to him to sit down and talk were, and I quote "Why would I talk to you?" So who's the biter and who's the bitee?

[lestercraft]

We can discuss it calmly because I'm a party with whom you don't have any negative rapport. At worst, we're indifferent.

But with Sheehan - what was frustration is now a standing grudge. And again, he has no evidence to suggest that he should expect you to give him the time of day if he were to make the approach himself, let alone that you'd listen to him make a case.

[Which, okay, maybe Arthur is biased, because he doesn't think Sheehan's actually in the wron. But he's also not wrong~]

If this is to be resolved, I fear you may have to be the bigger man and make it clear that you won't harbour ill will- that you'll be willing to listen without making emotional judgements when you hear what he has to say.

[abrightboy]

I have no evidence to suggest he'd give me the time of day; he brushed me off the last, like, six times. I'd love to resolve this. I'd love to build a bridge where we can at least have a mutual professional respect. I outright told him I was interested in talking before, in building a bridge. I told him it's different if we're not talking about me, sort of joking, because I thought maybe we could talk about something less... fraught than my personal life and establish a baseline for communication there. He thought I was offering him therapy and when I said I wasn't he didn't even answer. I'm not asking to be his best buddy and hang out with him. But he's the one doing the brushing off, Arthur, so how does me reaching out to him yet again bring him to the table?

[lestercraft]

Perhaps don't treat the fact that he's upset with the situation as a joke, when you do reach out to him? Neither of you are flippant men - if I'd come to you making light of the fact you and Sheehan were arguing you'd have been offended, and quite rightfully. You both take the situations before you with their full weight- a-at least that's the impression you've given me so far, one I'd hope is accurate.

Sheehan will meet you halfway if you make a sincere offer to make amends. And I'm not saying that you're required to do all of the lifting in this scenario, but as you already noted, Sheehan is avoiding you. He's not going to seek closure on this when he's perfectly willing to ignore the issue entirely. So you are the one with options here, Mr Bright. Either continue hounding him for something he doesn't want to give you, make a sincere attempt to connect and hear him out without patronising the situation - or leave him be.

[abrightboy]

I didn't treat the situation as a joke. I made a very harmless joke about myself to try to break the ice in the freeze out I was experiencing. I never claimed not to be socially awkward, but I never made any jokes about him or our disagreement. So why don't you find out if he is actually willing to talk to me and I would be willing to talk to him also. Okay? We can meet in the middle of the figurative bridge.

[lestercraft]

If someone were to disparage themselves to me, Mr Bright, when they were expecting me to take them seriously - I wouldn't. It's as simple as that. Especially for a personal problem.

[abrightboy]

Well, apparently everyone is different. I’ll reach out to him myself, then. Thanks for the advice. I hope it’ll help bridge the gap.

[lestercraft]

Thank you for your patience, Bright. Best of luck.

[He's not actually sure if anything will come of it. But he's said his piece; that's on Malcolm now. And so he hangs up.]