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[abrightboy]

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Re: Private | Audio

[talesuntold]

Talking is fine. She just wasn't up to answering questions about her own feelings, or she would've stayed on two legs.

She scoots close enough to rest her head on his hand. Maggie's not sure which part of that made him angry, but the feeling is valid.

Re: Private | Audio

[abrightboy]

He absently scritches behind her ears.

"She says Will is her priority, but, like... she only cares whether he's breathing if anyone else is in the exciting kind of danger she's used to. She's responsible for graduating him. That's her job, not being the only person on board who has to save everyone from everything, whether she's the most or least qualified to do so."

Re: Private | Audio

[talesuntold]

Maggie huffs out a sympathetically exasperated breath. She can understand why Malcolm is pissed off. Shaw chose to stay in the death river indefinitely, even without any special background that made her more suited for it. And if she'd drifted through the final gate, that death would've been permanent. It couldn't be shrugged off like a death toll.

Frankly, even death tolls take a toll on loved ones. It's never only themselves that people risk on the Barge. There's a lot of strain and worry for the people who care about them. Maggie doesn't take her own death seriously solely because of her virus, or because of her own trauma. She's died once on board, and once was enough of watching the ripple effects spread outward to hurt people who matter to her.

Then again, Maggie's very used to loving people braver than she is. She's never had the option of ignoring the effects of worry and grief on anyone left behind, because the one left behind was usually her.

Re: Private | Audio

[abrightboy]

"And she doesn't want to talk about it. Except she didn't say so. She just pretended I didn't speak at all when I brought it up," Malcolm tells her. He squeezes one hand with the other hand, then flexes his fingers, an unconscious fidget meant to control his psychogenic tremor when he feels it coming on.

"That's disrespectful, right? It's not just me being sensitive?"

Re: Private | Audio

[talesuntold]

It's an understandable urge, but Malcolm's right that it's not respectful. She sighs, and doesn't nudge his hands, letting him do whatever he wants with those, but shifts close enough to lean into him just a little.

It's strange, being past enough of their own sharp edges that she even gets to see this side of Malcolm. But feels like progress. She might even change back before she leaves and talk some, but she thinks she needed this first.

Re: Private | Audio

[abrightboy]

"Will says he worked out the issue with her. Like. The part between them. Because he specifically asked her to come back when she said she was able to if she wanted to. And she refused. Because she, personally, had to be the last person out of the river. You know, there's a difference, too, between being dedicated to your responsibilities and just being a martyr to them for no reason. I totally understand The Job being a person's whole identity. I've been there. I've just... he asked her to come back. And maybe he dealt with it and maybe he's fine now, but he's her primary responsibility. He is. She doesn't get it," Malcolm complains. He pauses. "Sorry. Anyway. I think I have some raw fish in the fridge. Do you want it? It's not very hospitable to not... have stuff for visitors."

Re: Private | Audio

[talesuntold]

That Will was upset too, and Shaw outright refused his request, gets a soft growl from her, teeth slightly bared. It was one thing if Malcolm was worrying on his own on Will's behalf, an urge she can always understand. But Will asked. He said what he needed and his warden told him he wasn't her priority. That's worse.

Maggie is protective as hell of her people, and often slower to forgive than they are. Will is pack. And he deserves to be prioritized by the person assigned to help him.

She'll take the fish, though, if Malcolm's offering, with a soft woof and a small nod. She makes a mental note to drop off jerky occasionally for canine guests, both wolves and dogs.

Re: Private | Audio

[abrightboy]

In fairness, he wouldn't really even have food for himself if Neal didn't drop some off every few days or so. Small bites of things that he understood Malcolm could stomach, without Malcolm having to explicitly list things he could or couldn't eat. He just got it.

He gets up and goes to the fridge and takes the fish from the bottom shelf, putting a piece on a plate and bringing it back to where they've been sitting, setting it in front of her.

"Will likes fish when he's a wolf."

Re: Private | Audio

[talesuntold]

Maggie will go ahead and devour the fish, with the increased appetite she's had since Iris turned her. And then she'll grab her clothes, and duck politely out of sight to transform, since she's not sure how comfortable Malcolm actually is with nudity.

"Thanks," she tells him, once she has human vocal cords again, tugging her shirt down as she emerges. "I needed a little while before I could deal with talking."

Re: Private | Audio

[abrightboy]

Malcolm nods, then looks at the fire.

“Will needs that too, sometimes. And sometimes we go to the Enclosure and run,” he says.

Re: Private | Audio

[talesuntold]

Maggie smiles. "Running as a wolf is amazing. The most free I've ever felt. Granted, that only says so much, given I've lived most of my life behind walls. But it's still true."

Re: Private | Audio

[abrightboy]

“Will took me running before he even turned,” Malcolm tells her. “But it’s better when he can run too. Do you run in the Enclosure?”

Re: Private | Audio

[talesuntold]

"Yeah. All sorts of places, but especially the woods around my house back home. Too much risk of zombie deer to do that in my world."

Re: Private | Audio

[abrightboy]

“We run in the fields around Will’s house from his world,” Malcolm tells her. “No zombies. His dogs run with us sometimes. That’s where he ran his dogs back home.”

Re: Private | Audio

[talesuntold]

"Sounds perfect," Maggie says, settling cross-legged on the floor near the fire.

"You said you didn't know Raylan and I were close. It was from the same breach where he was your brother. I was in love with him in that life. And obviously he had James here," her voice gets darker for a moment, tight with anger on Raylan's behalf, because how dare his husband just walk away, "so we didn't fall into quite that when we came back to ourselves. But he was my best friend on this ship months before James left and we started sleeping together. He always makes me feel safe. He's one of the few people that it's... effortless to lean on."

And she's a little bit in love with him now, but she has her parents and he has his daughter and she can't ask for more than visits. And not even those, yet.

Re: Private | Audio

[abrightboy]

Sounds like Raylan and he can't help smiling a little bit.

"We got off on the wrong foot when I got here. Apparently, there was a version of me on the Clipper and we... didn't see eye to eye, I guess. But after the breach, he found me kind of... easier to take, I guess. That's not weird. In general, it takes people time to warm up to me. My mentor Gil says I'm an acquired taste."

Re: Private | Audio

[talesuntold]

"I've never heard a single good thing about the Clipper. Of the three, the Brigantine was definitely the least awful for me, so I'm glad I was on it. So was Sweeney, who I was close to but not permanently paired with yet. And Tim Stoker. And Shaun and Becks, from my world." God, Maggie misses Becks. She hadn't lived it yet at the time, but her latest trip home gave her the memory of lying in a hospital bed, Becks kissing her forehead on the way out the door. And never making it back.

As far as acquired tastes... "Sometimes it's like languages. Some people we meet already speak our language fluently, and some very much don't, and it takes awhile to stop talking at cross purposes. And if the gulf is too wide, 'stop' signals get missed, and feelings get hurt, and then there's a mess to deal with."

Hence, her interactions with Malcolm before they tried to fix things.

Re: Private | Audio

[abrightboy]

"Sometimes I feel like the only person speaking a language that nobody else understands," Malcolm tells her. "Or... I did until I met Will. He always got it."