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[abrightboy]

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Re: During the Undergrowth Flood

[abrightboy]

"There's no fresh air here," is his knee-jerk response. But Will is still moving towards the door and in a quiet, sincere, almost desperate voice that almost nobody has ever heard from this Malcolm, he says "Please don't go."

Re: During the Undergrowth Flood

[empathicfault]

He feels the request like a blow to the chest. Will stops and sways in place for a moment, tears welling up in his eyes. "I'm not! I'm not, I promise."

Damn, he really should've bolted when he woke up. Why didn't he? "I don't know who you want me to be," he adds, sounding lost. He looks down to the plate in front of him and picks it up, carrying it over to the bar to sit next to Malcolm. "This doesn't make sense."

Re: During the Undergrowth Flood

[abrightboy]

"You're the first person I've really known who wasn't... just... performing. I never wanted you to be anything in particular," Malcolm tells him. He turns in his seat to face him a bit more. "If you lost your memory, we can work on it, okay? I'm a neurologist. It's okay; we'll figure it out."

Re: During the Undergrowth Flood

[empathicfault]

Will's eyes widen at the reassurance, because that really doesn't sound like him. But then, why does he only have good memories with Malcolm? Not marriage, but fun nights with a man who was far more complex than what he generally showed the world. Will had been addicted immediately.

He rubs at his face. That, at least, hadn't changed. "I...before I met you, I was thinking of trying some ayahuasca. Maybe I did and forgot to tell you- or myself- and this is all some...vision of how I'd really like to settle down? Be honest? I don't know." He shakes his head, but Malcolm's reassurance seems to be settling him down. "Why isn't there fresh air?"

Re: During the Undergrowth Flood

[abrightboy]

Malcolm cuts a piece of his own steak and a piece if potato, spearing them together on his fork and holds the bite out for Will.

"The boat is in... it's not even space. It's the liminal space between dimensions. It's spectacular; we can go up and see it, but it's not... fresh air."

Re: During the Undergrowth Flood

[empathicfault]

Will is struck by the strangeness of the conversation with the sweet way Malcolm's taking care of him. He decides to lean into the sweet part first, literally leaning down for the bite. He savors it as he chews.

"That's amazing," he says, closing his eyes for a moment. Then he shifts to his own plate and starts cutting for himself. He's not missing out on this meal, even if this world is falling apart. "So I'm guessing all that means we're not in New York?"

Re: During the Undergrowth Flood

[abrightboy]

Malcolm takes a hearty bite of his own meal and looks over at Will.

"You were living with me in New York? How did we meet, then?"

Re: During the Undergrowth Flood

[empathicfault]

Will bites his lip a little- he wouldn't have called it 'living with Malcolm,' but he absolutely was sleeping here every night. "I was working as a catering attendant for some fundraising gala your hospital was holding. You weren't a speaker, but you had to be there."

Will had been disappointed- so many people there hated the event. He thought more would be happier with the chance to at least show off their spending, wear something nice, eat fancy dinners, but...

"When we were relatively alone, I declared that you were the most ridiculously bored person in the entire room. Guess you found that funny, rather than inappropriate. We both left a little early."

Re: During the Undergrowth Flood

[abrightboy]

Malcolm smiles as he swallows a bite of steak.

"What can I say? You're very attractive. What was I supposed to do? Not leave with you? I bet I was the least bored employee of that hospital by about an hour later," he teases.

Re: During the Undergrowth Flood

[empathicfault]

Will takes a bite, looking shyly down at his plate. He's clearly pleased. "I can guarantee that you were," he replies, the words not reflecting his more innocent expression.

"We've been in each other's orbit ever since. I clean up nice, and navigate your social scene all right. And-"

His eyes flutter shut for a moment. He's pulling himself back together again, so it's time to mention it and try to push past it.

"I'm sorry for freaking out earlier, I've just... I've never told anyone about the empathy disorder. Only my dad knew. I didn't want people thinking I was some sort of psychopath."

Re: During the Undergrowth Flood

[abrightboy]

Malcolm chews thoughtfully, studying him sidelong.

“Would it be the worst thing in the world if you were one? I mean… maybe some people deserve what they reap from their sowing and maybe someone has to have the wherewithal to deliver it to them and maybe some people call that psychopathy, but maybe other people call that justice.”

He watches Will carefully.

Re: During the Undergrowth Flood

[empathicfault]

Will has to steal some of that carefulness, because he suddenly senses a danger to this situation. It's not the first time here with Malcolm, actually. Or the second.

It might be the first time Will doesn't immediately tell himself to get the duck out of here...he hadn't listened, why bother now? Will lets out a sigh and chews his lip before he answers.

"I would call that justice, yeah. But am I really feeling that way, or...am I reflecting it? Could I actually believe that's possible, or is that a fairy tale I'd tell myself after getting...swept away on the emotions?" His voice shakes as he speaks, as if the weight of the words are too heavy for him.

Re: During the Undergrowth Flood

[abrightboy]

"Who taught you that feeling things is wrong?" Malcolm asks. "Who told you that you should shut that off?"

Re: During the Undergrowth Flood

[empathicfault]

"What I feel isn't real, that's the problem," he says, liking truly miserable to give voice to it. "Or it's real, but it's not mine... I'm a mirror."

He looks away, and notices the mutt at his feet. "The only thing I decide is where I'm positioned." He aims for the light, so it seems like something's there.

Re: During the Undergrowth Flood

[abrightboy]

"You have feelings. Your own feelings. Maybe what you need to look for using your 'condition' is someone whose feelings resonate with you. You feel what they feel but do you enjoy it? Does it feel right? Or does it feel... dissonant? Like an ill-fitting suit?" Malcolm shrugs a shoulder and spears a potato, holding it out for Will. "You're trying to feel things like normal people do, but you're not one of them. I know what it's like, to be forced into a mold and to feel like a failure for not fitting it. But you can let your wings unfold here. Try to feel things your way, not... fit your way of feeling into the parameters of how normal people feel things."

Re: During the Undergrowth Flood

[empathicfault]

Will looks like he's going to argue at first, but when Malcolm brings up the ill-fitting suit he has to shut his mouth again. He technically 'resonates' with everyone he comes across. So what does he keep running away and starting over?

He's quiet for what feels like a long time, thinking it over as he chews his food. And then almost laughing at himself for thinking it over. "So, what you're saying is that it might be more mentally healthy for me to explore any latent tendencies towards psychopathy?"

He huffs a breath out. "There's no putting that genie back in the bottle after I let it out." Watching Malcolm's eyes, he adds, "Just how much darkness could I reflect?"

He's not saying no. Hell, if he's in space, maybe he's already had his break.

Re: During the Undergrowth Flood

[abrightboy]

"Technically none," Malcolm teases. "You can only reflect light. Darkness is just an absence of it." Malcolm tilts his head slightly. "You don't resonate with everyone. Maybe what you need to do first is figure out how you feel about what you feel, because... honey? Most people don't even enjoy their own feelings all the time. So there have to be people whose feelings are off-putting. Annoying. Disgusting, even. Even if you do feel them like you're that person."

Re: During the Undergrowth Flood

[empathicfault]

Will's face breaks into an amused smile when Malcolm corrects him about the darkness. It's honestly a necessary diversion from the seriousness of this topic. It's heavier than anything he's handled in ages.

And there Malcolm is, with more thoughtful wisdom. Will wipes his eyes. "I can see why we would've gotten married. You...you don't feel unhappy, with yourself. Everyone does, on some level. But not you. Or maybe you're good at hiding it, but either way it's the same to me. I love it."

He looks down, nervous. After summoning some courage, he looks back up at Malcolm. "And I love you. -you've...probably heard that before. Considering. But it's new for me." Not the expression, honestly. But the conviction he feels it with. It seems permanent, somehow.

Re: During the Undergrowth Flood

[abrightboy]

Malcolm smiles.

"Then I guess you are my husband," he says. He leans over to give him a kiss. "If you remember that you love me, I think that's plenty to go on," he says as it breaks.

Re: During the Undergrowth Flood

[empathicfault]

Will laughs and leans over to kiss Malcolm back. "You are surprisingly okay with this, considering," he says.

He'll examine his feelings again later, but damn this was a lot. He's happy to retreat into Malcolm's smile. "Does crazy shit like this happen a lot around here?"

Re: During the Undergrowth Flood

[abrightboy]

"All the time. At least we didn't kill each other, right? I call it a win," Malcolm declares, popping a bite of steak in his mouth, then cutting another and holding it out for Will.

Re: During the Undergrowth Flood

[empathicfault]

"Is the bar really that low? Jesus," Will says, but he's practically joking along. He's found his footing again and is bearing up rather remarkably. He's always been good at adapting. He takes the bite with pleasure and chews happily through it.

"I'd say I'm very much an adult and can cut my own steak, but there's something about it that makes it taste even better..."

Re: During the Undergrowth Flood

[abrightboy]

"I have the deft touch of a surgeon and the jawline of a knitting catalogue model. I can cut you the perfect bitesize portion of meat and then distract you from it immediately. What could be better than that?" Malcolm teases, cutting another piece and holding it out.