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[abrightboy]

This is Bright. Leave a message.

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[tinstar]

It- [he sighs roughly, gesturing with his free hand, not used to having to have words for these feelings, what do you mean, sheer madness.]

Because I love him and for some reason, he loves me too. Even if we haven't said it, I- [He knew. He was pretty sure Neal knew too.]

I got a right to try and have somethin' like that in my life, right? No, it's not perfect, but nothin' is, and I'd rather have whatever time he's willin' to give me than none of his time at all.

[abrightboy]

It sounds like he wants your time, too.

[tinstar]

Some of it. And that might change once he realizes what my job really means. What it means for folks who are waitin' to see if I come back out the other side alive.

I don't know that he wants that part of my time.

[abrightboy]

He worked for the FBI, Raylan. He liked the work. He didn't like the people trying to keep him in indentured servitude so much, but he liked the work.

[tinstar]

He liked the work, he didn't so much care for the emotional backlash of it. And this time the person he's worryin' about is someone else that he loves. That's the difference. I haven't brought it up to him, I don't know that he sees it yet and frankly, he deserves to have a little shine on somethin' without my dark mind twistin' it into somethin' that ain't a promise yet.

'Don't invite trouble', my Aunt Helen would say.

[abrightboy]

I’m… I’m just saying he might not be as averse to it as some people you’ve… been with. Um. How… how long do you think you’ll stay there?

[tinstar]

[ Raylan only took a pull from his ale bottle. Time would tell, and only time would ever help convince him that Neal wasn't going to leave.]

A few months, at least. Long enough for me to find out what normal looks like again. As far as I understand, Neal thinks he'll be comin' back too, so it's not like this is forever. Maybe by the time I come back, Willa will've come to her senses and gone home too.

[abrightboy]

Willa is thriving here, honestly. Maybe she’ll get what she needs and will go home by then.

….Raylan, if you and Neal are… are really happy there…. I mean. Iunderstand if you change your mind. About coming back.

[He doesn’t want that to be the case, but he has to Be Supportive.]

[tinstar]

Let's hope. [And he did, deeply.

He looks over, nods, and sighs mostly to himself.]

I appreciate it. We'll see how it all falls out but everythin' that's there will stay there while we're here. Makes the decision of it all easier, ya know? I just.. [He sighs again.]

I'm exhausted by all the worry that grips me all the time here. And after all my time here, I've earned a break, right? A real break? A little bit of normal life to remind me of how I have to be. How I gotta stay.

[abrightboy]

If that’s what you want, you’ve definitely earned it. But… Raylan, you’re the most normal person here.

[tinstar]

Maybe that's part of the problem.. [He shakes his head.]

The most normal here doesn't wash away the bits of me that I've changed to survive here, to try and thrive. Shit that I can't do back at home. You understand that, right? How bein' the way I am here is like or not to get me killed there?

[abrightboy]

……..But Neal is going with you.

[tinstar]

Yeah. To Miami. No one gives a shit about if I have roommates in Miami. But I still won't be able to live there the way I live here. All.. open and unashmed and shit.

[abrightboy]

Maybe you’ll find you can. I mean. People do.

[tinstar]

[Raylan smiles ruefully and shakes his head.]

You don't understand how it changes the math, with the people I end up goin' against. How much it'll change how people react, what they do. And all the shit I went through to make sure that Willa is safe, I'm not looking to throw Neal into the same pit if I can help it.

[abrightboy]

If it seems like it’s going to be a permanent thing, you could come back and get another deal to take care of all that.