The Adventure Continues

[abrightboy]

For thatsfascinating.



The villa Malcolm rented was in the Languedoc, not far from Marseilles, south of Avignon. It was a very historic region, though Malcolm was particularly not interested in visiting Marseilles again. There was a charming village nearby the villa and if they were going to go to an historic city for a day, he'd rather make the trip over to Montpellier, where he'd never been at all, much less with Dr Whitly.

The villa had six bedrooms. As the driver brought their luggage inside the bright and spacious main room, Malcolm handed him some folded Euros and thanked him and shut the door behind him.

"First choice of a room is yours," he told Edrisa with a smile. "But you might want to explore first."

Comments

[abrightboy]

He leaned forward. "Tell me more," he said eagerly.

[thatsfascinating]

"He was definitely poisoned," she began. "Even though they couldn't identify the toxin, the effects on his organs were pretty blatant. Sure, poison can be used for murder, but nine times out of ten you're looking at suicide. He had abandoned his suitcase in a train station, removed all identifying information from his clothing, and cut a little piece of paper from a book that had words on it that can be translated 'it is finished.'" She waved her spoon. "All of that points toward suicide. And then there's the son!"

[abrightboy]

"With the genetic ear thing. I can see reasons that he would commit suicide; if he was really in love with the nurse, he could only be with her if she agreed to basically ruin her life." The words were barely out of his mouth and his expression faltered slightly, but he pushed himself back on track. "What I couldn't believe was that they didn't find the scrap of paper for, like, a month. They thought it was this big mystery and they didn't even go through his stuff properly."

[thatsfascinating]

"To be fair, this wasn't a regular pocket. It was a secret pocket inside the waistband."

She paused, studying his face. It wasn't the first time suicide had come up in conversation and then become tangentially linked to their situation. It scared her, frankly.

"You are not ruining my life. At all."

[abrightboy]

He composed his expression into what he expected was a reassuring sort of smile.

"I know," he attempted to assure her.

He poked at his creme brulee with his spoon and looked up at her from under his eyelashes. "I also know you would have found that piece of paper on the first go through his stuff, little secret pocket or no little secret pocket," he added with definite confidence.

[thatsfascinating]

Edrisa was terrible at social cues and reading expressions in general, but she knew Malcolm, almost as well as she knew herself, and she recognized that carefully constructed mask he put on to reassure her. It didn't work. In fact, the worry deepened in her own stricken expression.

The compliment drew a ghost of a smile. "So would you. But not everyone is as exceptional as we are."

She wanted to argue against what was surely beneath that mask, but she couldn't. She knew that. His fear was bone deep, and she knew the only thing that might eventually unseat it was time and steady proof that he was not in fact ruining her life. But he had to give her that time.

"Don't leave me," she said softly. "Never leave me."

[abrightboy]

He looked genuinely confused at that. He leaned forward, frowning faintly.

"You think I'm going to leave you?" he clarified. That didn't track in his mind. It wasn't a logical conclusion to draw from anything as he saw it. He blinked for a moment as things failed to compute. "Of course I won't," he said matter-of-factly.

[thatsfascinating]

She nodded at his matter-of-fact reassurance, but her expression didn't change. It was clear he didn't understand why she was worried, and she wasn't sure she knew how to explain it to him. She looked down as if re-discovering her creme brulee, and began eating again.

[abrightboy]

His eyes stayed on her face, watching carefully.

"You're upset."

And even as he said it, he was running back the conversation and remembered where it intersected with Christmas dinner.

"I'm not going to kill myself," he asserted suddenly, still watching her, but a little anxiously.

[thatsfascinating]

She looked up from her dessert at that, her expression still full of worry but with a tiny bit of hope.

"Promise?" she said quietly, studying his face.

[abrightboy]

He canted his head slightly, studying her back.

"Do you really think I want to?"

[thatsfascinating]

Edrisa shook her head slowly.

"I don't know," she answered, a little despairing. "With everything you've been through? I can't imagine it's never crossed your mind. And this is twice now that it's come up and you've...expressed understanding of why someone would kill themselves in those particular situations that have really close parallels to your own situation. I don't know if you want to, but I don't know if anyone really ever wants to. I could see you trying..."

She stopped, having to swallow the lump in her throat and take a deep breath to keep tears at bay.

"...trying to save me from yourself by sacrificing yourself. I don't want to believe that could ever happen, but I just...I just don't know."

[abrightboy]

"I wouldn't put you through the death of a loved one." He leaned forward. "That's what my father did to people."

He sat back and ate a spoonful of dessert, contemplating.

"I don't want to die," he told her. "People have thought that I must for a long time. But I don't."

[thatsfascinating]

"Because you race into dangerous situations," she said with an understanding nod. "I know you don't do that because you want to die."

She pressed her lips, then reached her hand across the table, wanting to hold his.

"Thank you," she said softly.

[abrightboy]

He took her hand, squeezing her fingers lightly.

"Sometimes it's because of that. But more often it's because I'm mentally ill and people assume someone would rather die than live with my particular litany of mental complaints," he admitted. "And I can see why they think I would feel that way, but I don't feel that way. Going down that road feels like letting him win."

[thatsfascinating]

"Oh. Well, isn't that ableist. Of course you don't want to die because of that." She squeezed his hand back. "You have an amazing life, and you touch the lives of so many people. I don't know what I would do without you. I don't know what the world would do without you."

[abrightboy]

"I don't know how much of the world would feel about that. Ambivalent at best, I expect. But my life is better than it's ever been. I'm in an amazing relationship. I have great friends. I love my job. What's not to live for?" he pointed out.

[thatsfascinating]

A smile spread across her face, so happy that he was happy, so happy to be a part of his happiness.

"Things are pretty good right now," she agreed.

[abrightboy]

"Things have never been better in my entire life," he assured her. "I've never considered suicide, but if I were going to, it wouldn't be now."

His concerns about ruining her life still nibbled at the edges of his mind, in the voices of nurses and strangers and their passing sympathy for the plight Edrisa was putting herself through by choosing to be with someone so... overrun by his troubles. But he believed her reassurances. He believed her when she said she wanted this and that it made her happy and that she would never abandon him. She was so earnest. So honest. He had trouble trusting people, but he'd come to allow himself that vulnerability with her. He'd set his heart right in her hands.

If she decided, like the few before her, that she couldn't deal with this anymore, it would break him.

He took one more bite of his dessert, then picked up his bowl and reached across to set it in front of her. "That's all I can manage."

[thatsfascinating]

"I'm so glad," she breathed.

She knew that she held his heart, and that losing her would destroy him. Some people might feel intimidated by that knowledge, but not Edrisa. Because she knew, with complete conviction, that she would never leave him. That his heart was safe in her hands. And her heart was safe in his.

She finished her own bowl quickly, then picked up his bowl and walked around to the other side of the table to sit next to him. She set the bowl down and took his hand, threading her fingers through his.

[abrightboy]

He was on the verge of confusion when she got up, but when she sat next to him he smiled.

"Hi," he said softly as she settled in next to him.

[thatsfascinating]

She smiled back.

"Hi," she answered softly.

She leaned in and gently kissed him.

[abrightboy]

He smiled, even as he returned the kiss, leaning in a bit more, reaching up to slide his fingers along her jaw and curl them around the back of her neck. His cast made it awkward, but he was careful not to scrape or bump her with it.

[thatsfascinating]

She followed his lead and leaned in a little more, lifting a hand to touch his cheek. When the kiss broke she sighed happily and rested her forehead against his.

[abrightboy]

Without pulling away from her, Malcolm lifted his hand from her neck to point at the creme brulee.

"Did you bring this over here so we can pretend I'm eating it if he comes in here to judge me again?" he asked.