Voicemail (IC Contact Post) OLD - at capcha

[abrightboy]

 This is Bright. Leave a message.

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[cactusy]

[She recognizes the choice of wording, and appreciates it, giving him a little nod before saying--]

Safety. Security.

[abrightboy]

Why does acknowledging your rootlessness make you feel safe?

[cactusy]

But this doesn't acknowledge my rootlessness. It...

[She pauses, trying to decide how to phrase it.]

It gives it back to me, a little bit. It's the symbol for a root directory, not the symbol for a deleted root directory.

[abrightboy]

So it's a hopeful symbol.

[cactusy]

I guess so.

["Hopeful" isn't the word she would have grabbed for herself, but now that she thinks about it, it does fit.]

Sure.

[abrightboy]

What about 4AF? What non-secret thoughts do you have when you look at that?

[cactusy]

That one reminds me that I'm not alone, or at the end of my rope. Even if it seems like I am.

[abrightboy]

Have you found people here supportive more than not since you arrived?

[cactusy]

[The question clearly surprises her; she pauses.]

Supportive in what way? Professionally? Not really, for the most part.

[She figures that's probably not what she means, but she can dream.]

[abrightboy]

How about in terms of settling in here, in terms of offering outreach, in terms of offering conversation and advice...?

[cactusy]

Yeah.

[She says, blowing out a breath.]

Most people are pretty good at that.

[abrightboy]

What has your first thought been when people have offered that?

[cactusy]

It... depends.

[She says, her brow creasing.]

On the context, on what they're offering-- why?

[abrightboy]

You help people. You're almost... driven to help people. So what does it make you think when other people try to help you?

[cactusy]

Depends on if they're actually helpful or not, I guess. I've gotten some good advice.

[abrightboy]

And if they're well-meaning but ultimately useless?

[cactusy]

Then it's anywhere from kind of annoying to actively dangerous. Here, it hasn't been any worse than annoying so far.

[abrightboy]

And when they are useful?

[cactusy]

Where are you going with this, Malcolm?

[abrightboy]

We're just talking.

[cactusy]

I'm assuming you have a point.

[abrightboy]

We'll get there.

[cactusy]

[Shaw closes her eyes for a moment, equal parts annoyed and exhausted by that response.]

Yeah, I'm not... really interested in games.

[She moves to stand.]

Check in same time next week?

[abrightboy]

This is a game now?

[cactusy]

You won't give me straight answers, Malcolm.

[She says, on her way to the door.]

Kinda the last thing I need right now.