No One's Born Broken

[abrightboy]

For tinstar.



Gil came and went. Dani came and went. Ainsley came and then left with their mother, who refused to even hear him out about telling the truth. He stared through the window at the motionless man in the bed for some indeterminate amount of time, his hand clutching his phone in his pocket.

Finally he let his eyes leave the figure through the window and he took his phone out of his pocket. He stared at that for a long moment, then scrolled through his contacts until one name rolled onto the screen: Raylan Givens.

He looked through the window, then looked at the name. Then he pressed it.

Comments

[tinstar]

"Darlin', I'm not going to tell you how to spend your money and if that's what you want to do for her, I'm not going to stop that either. I wasn't lying when I said I wanted you in her life, that I needed help, and monetarily is not what I meant, but that does not mean that I am against the idea."

Raylan searched Malcolm's face with a heavy sigh and a pinch of frustration at himself in his features. What if all this fell apart? Where would Willa be if Raylan's trusted source wasn't there anymore?

"I just.. I gotta have a back up plan." He'd blame his job if he thought about it. "Something I know can't be taken away from me."

[abrightboy]

Malcolm bit his lip as he watched Raylan's feelings play across his face.

"What if I put a... not insignificant amount in trust for her straight away? Then, no matter what happens, it will still be hers; nobody can take it from her."

If one or both of them died, if it didn't work out between them...

"She'll be okay and you won't have to overextend yourself. You know, scientifically, you are a lot more likely to be killed in a situation you would normally be capable of handling if you're exhausted and worn down. Did you know that all studies on human productivity show the same results for the last one hundred years?"

He frowned at himself. "I need to take my pills," he admitted. "But the point stands - and I'm sure Willa would agree with me - that you not getting killed would be the ideal outcome."

[tinstar]

"If it makes you feel better, then yes." If it fixed.. this, then yes. He could shut up and let Malcolm do something inarguably unnecessary and wholly too good for Willa's future. "But only if you think about it in the morning when you're more.. level."

Raylan reluctantly pulled back, one hand sliding down Malcolm's arm to tangle their fingers together so he could pull him towards the kitchen, letting him go so he could tend to his pills.

"I'm not exhausted and worn down, but I take your point." Well, if he had been anything other then that, he might not have lost the fight that started this argument and so prettily colored his face. "This isn't gonna kill me, Malcolm. I can handle some drunks."

[abrightboy]

"I'm not worried about the drunks," Malcolm said, systematically opening each pill bottle. "I'm worried about the mafia gunman the morning after the drunks."

He popped all four pills into his mouth, then went to the sink and filled a glass with water, downing it all.

"And for clarity's sake, you and Winona won't be able to access the funds even if you want to; it's Willa's and Willa's alone. And I'll think about it in the light of day if you want, but if you'll stop moonlighting yourself potentially to death, my mind won't change.”

And it was the minimum she'd get. There was also the rest of Malcolm's money and whatever ungodly sum he'd eventually inherit from his mother.

[tinstar]

Recollecting his glass, Raylan took a shallow draft of it as he watched Malcolm take his pills. As much as he might want to argue, the mafia gunmen in the morning was a valid concern, no matter what way Raylan might feel about it.

"Come back down to Lexington once this thing is done with your father. Help me find an apartment. As long as I'm above the bar, I'm gonna end up keeping the peace, money or not. It'll give me enough time to tie up some loose ends and explain to the guy renting me the place. We had an understandin'."

[abrightboy]

Malcolm put the lids back on his pill bottles and straightened the row and then stepped over to Raylan, sliding his arms around Raylan's ribs; grounding himself in his presence.

"There's a difference between putting your life on the line to protect people and being reckless with it. People accuse me of being reckless all the time, but I'm not. I know I could lose you to a bad day on any day; I accept that because I understand why you do what you do. But I can't accept added danger if I can do something about it. You wouldn't just let me do something needlessly dangerous. We're doing this together. That means everything," he said earnestly.

[tinstar]

He was greeted with Raylan's arm around his shoulders, fingers coming up to settle in the ends of Malcolm's neck hair as he studied the endlessly blue eyes that met his.

"We are in this together. Doing this together. And I know what statistics tell you but by those numbers, I should already be down. I wouldn't put myself in unnecessary danger; it's a collage bar. I lost because I'd been drinkin' a little too much Jim Beam. That's not to say that I'm tryin' to put off anything, I'm not." He just wanted to explain, somehow.

"The older I get, the less I sleep. I don't know if its stress or what, but I can get by on four hours, if I have to, with a nap in between. I am not unaware of the ramifications of exhaustion."

[abrightboy]

Malcolm nodded, setting his head on Raylan's shoulder.

"I'd love to come to Lexington after..."

After his father lived or his father died. Well. It had been nice not thinking about that for half an hour. Maybe that was why he'd clung to something else so doggedly once he found it.

He swallowed and lifted his head. "I'm overdue anyway. I should have come weeks ago, things have just..."

He frowned faintly, glancing around. He'd thought Raylan would come to bed with him, was about to start heading them in that direction, but it suddenly occurred to him Raylan hadn't brought a bag.

"You're not staying," he realized. "No," he said quickly, "of course. I know you can't drop everything every time I have a nervous breakdown," he said with a weak laugh. "Nobody in the world has that much vacation time. When are you leaving?"

Because if it was soon enough that he'd slip away while Malcolm was asleep, maybe he wouldn't sleep.

[tinstar]

Raylan let Malcolm run him and his half finished sentences out in his own time, nodding in a quiet understanding of how crazy things could get. He knew, he understood, and since there was no hard get out date, it was okay.

Malcolm's realization and nonasked statement made his brow pinch, a faint frown curling on his features. He had dropped everything to come up. "Not til tonight." And considering it was coming on 7 am, that was a good number of hours away.

"Not til I know you're settled and.. more okay than you were, at least." Raylan took a deep breath and ran his hand up and down Malcolm's shoulder. "You need to sleep, c'mon," he said, jerking his head a little towards the bed.

[abrightboy]

He did need to sleep and he let Raylan guide him towards the bed, even as he gestured around. "You didn't... you didn't bring a bag," he pointed out. "I thought... maybe you were going to go. While I was sleeping."

And he didn't want him to go without saying good-bye.

"Are you going to sleep too?"

He'd come in the middle of the night; he couldn't have slept.

[tinstar]

"In the rush onto a plane, I forgot it in my car," he admitted with a soft curl of his smile. "Considering how little you sleep, that's a real short escape window." He shook his head a little. "I'm not gonna leave without saying goodbye."

The bed was glanced at before he nodded. "Yeah, I could use a little shut-eye. I'm startin' to run on fumes." Raylan patted Malcolm's ass to get him going and free up his hands so he could tug his open tie undone and start unbuttoning his shirt. He might not have sleeping clothes but that didn't mean he had to go to bed with layers more between them.

[abrightboy]

At the welcome physical encouragement coupled with the reassurance, Malcolm stepped up onto the platform that served as his bedroom, for a given value of 'a room' and pulled some sweatpants and a t-shirt out of the dresser, changing into his standard 'what if I break out of those restraints and run into the street?' nightclothes before heading into the bathroom to clean up.

"You should keep some things here," he said as he returned to the main room. "A toothbrush. Some clothes. Then you don't have to carry a bag back and forth. I'm going to keep things in Lexington when we find a place."

[tinstar]

"I hope so," Raylan said as he pulled off his plaid overshirt, leaving him in his jeans, boots and undershirt. His gun stayed on his hip because, well, Raylan wasn't thinking the best and frankly, with a killer having just gone after the Whitly family, he felt better with it at his side.

"Next time I come up, I'll leave my bag here, toothbrush, clothes and all. Maybe my spare hat. It's not gonna get shot up or stolen in here." Ambling over to the bed, he sat down and pulled off his boots and socks with a dad!groan and a sigh of relief when his feet were bare. "My breath is gonna peel the paint off your walls in the morning," he threatened playfully, only not flopping back onto the bed because he knew he'd have to move again in a few seconds. Once he laid down, that was gonna be it for him.

[abrightboy]

"I can survive that," Malcolm told him. "Worth it. Though I have mouthwash in there if you want a rinse now or then or both."

He crawled onto the bed and wrapped his arms around Raylan from behind, resting his cheek between Raylan's shoulderblades.

"Are you going to sleep in jeans, though? You won't be uncomfortable?"

He could take them off. Malcolm was willing to help.

[tinstar]

Raylan's head followed Malcolm around as far as he could, humming softly as he felt the arms slip around him and sliding his hand up Malcolm's forearm. This, this warmth, this solid weight against him was worth whatever argument they had to have.

He'd mouthwash in the morning.

"Which onna those you want me to answer first," he asked with a curl of a smile. "I've slept in my jeans often enough that they're not uncomfortable and we're not going to be down long enough to really make it worth it." That was okay too. He wanted to lay down but he also didn't want to break the contact so he opted to just wait a minute and enjoy it. Even if his breathing started softening quicker than he anticipated.

[abrightboy]

He lifted his head to kiss the side of Raylan's neck, then shifted over to his spot on the bed.

"Okay, then let's chain me up before the benzos kick in," he said cheerfully, pushing the covers back to get under them.

[tinstar]

He hummed again at the kiss and pushed to his feet to walk to the foot of the bed, fitting one cuff after the other around Malcolm's ankles and trying not to think about the idea that they'd long left in the back of his head too much. Once Malcolm was all strapped in, Raylan got onto his side of the bed, unhooking his gun from his belt to set it on the nightstand, button popped just in case he had to draw before settling down around Malcolm with a heavy sigh.

Long day had been long.

[abrightboy]

Malcolm fell asleep easily as his anti-anxiety medication kicked in and Raylan's warmth comforted him. He slept heavily.

Just before 9:30, the door of the apartment opened and six inch stilettos clicked across the hardwood floor. Jessica Whitly glanced towards the bed to ensure it was occupied, but paid it little mind as she moved to the kitchen to put the kettle on.

[tinstar]

The attempts to not fall into a deep sleep had been lost and Raylan was dead to the world, the only explanation for him not hearing the door close, but the sharp clicks were more than foreign enough to jolt the Marshal out of his sleep with sharp inhale. He moved out of instinct and on reaction, easily snagging his service weapon from it's holster from his position on his back as he popped up, barrel trained on..

He blinked blurrily, gun lowering slowly. "Jessica?"

[abrightboy]

"Raylan," she gasped, a little startled, if the fluttering hand at her chest and her wide eyes were any indication. "You won't be needing that, I assure you," she told him in the overly gracious tone she used to cover for when she wasn't feeling as confident as she wanted to sound. She busied her hands with a teapot and a diffuser and some cups. "I apologize; I didn't know you were here. But the nurses at the hospital this morning told me my son was there late and I thought I should check on him."

[tinstar]

Letting out a breath, his gun hand sagged against the bed as he rubbed his eyes, glanced at Malcolm and turned his legs off the bed to tuck his gun back into its place.

"'Course. Sorry, I-" He wasn't sure it mattered. Taking another breath, he pushed up to his feet, one hand trying in vain to tame the wild salt and pepper hair and failing as he padded closer so they weren't being louder and risking waking Malcolm up. He needed all the sleep he could get.

"I had to barter him into leaving but he took his meds and there's jello for him to eat when he gets up. Didn't expect to have anyone walkin' in this mornin'." His affable nature meant he wasn't too bothered by it; this wasn't his house, after all, and Jessica and Malcolm had been doing this for years.

[abrightboy]

She glanced at the jello cups on the counter and rolled her eyes a little.

"I suppose jello is a step up from licorice," she conceded. She looked Raylan over. "So you sleep with a gun under your pillow? Is that a Kentucky thing or a Marshal thing?" she asked conversationally.

[tinstar]

He bobbed his eyebrows in response. They were working on eggs and those took effort neither of them had after last night.

"Next to the bed, but yeah. Marshal thing. Kinda a Kentucky thing too, but only when you're there." He checked his watch and rubbed his eyes again. "A downfall of never really bein' off duty." He finally looked over at her properly, meeting her eye.

"I take it you're not getting charged then, bein' here and all. What'd they say, the NYPD?"

[abrightboy]

She looked over at him.

"He told you all about that, did he? Well, of course he did. He called you last night and asked you to come here?"

She shrugged a shoulder.

"They haven't charged me yet, but Gil recommends getting a high powered defense attorney. He says they may yet press first degree murder charges if he dies." She scoffed. "Can you imagine? Like killing Martin Whitly isn't a public service the state should have performed in 1998."

[tinstar]

"Called me, but I came up on my own." Malcolm needed him. Or he needed to make sure Malcolm was okay, they were both interchangeable as far as he was concerned.

Raylan couldn't help but breathe a little chuckle at her biting remark towards Martin, bobbing his eyebrows again. "Won't hear me arguin' that one. You're not in cuffs for the stabbing itself, so that's promising. Somehow I think a lady like you has high powered attorneys on speed dial." He found it harder and harder to doubt Gil when the man was involved; if she wasn't in cuffs, they were doing their job and gathering the proof that Jessica was coerced.

"Maloclm's worried about you." In case she wasn't aware.