No One's Born Broken

[abrightboy]

For tinstar.



Gil came and went. Dani came and went. Ainsley came and then left with their mother, who refused to even hear him out about telling the truth. He stared through the window at the motionless man in the bed for some indeterminate amount of time, his hand clutching his phone in his pocket.

Finally he let his eyes leave the figure through the window and he took his phone out of his pocket. He stared at that for a long moment, then scrolled through his contacts until one name rolled onto the screen: Raylan Givens.

He looked through the window, then looked at the name. Then he pressed it.

Comments

[tinstar]

"How could I," Raylan enthused, slapping both Malcolm's cheeks only to immediately collect his flesh in his hands, gripping and massaging them as he lifted and spread him, hips steady in their pace, however deep his strokes became. "With you waiting to greet me when I come home. All smiles and sunshine."

[abrightboy]

"There are few pleasures in life greater than seeing your face," Malcolm informed him breathlessly. "Though you do keep competing with yourself..." he conceded. "This is right up there."

[tinstar]

The chuckle that escaped him slipped into another throat groan of approval as he kept moving. "Can't let you forget me when you go back to New York, right?" he breathed. "Gotta compete against a whole city of pretty faces that get to be there."

It was surprisingly accurate, the words that slipped out. Raylan was a confident guy but part of him worried that New York and all it's beautiful, different faces, coupled with the longer periods of time away from each other, Raylan wanted to press himself into Malcolm's memory however and as much as he could.

[abrightboy]

Malcolm, his head tilted back, his back arched, opened his eyes and tried to catch a glimpse of Raylan, straining against the restraint on that side a little.

"You're your only competition," he panted.

[tinstar]

"Maybe," he breathed back, seating himself hard and swiveling his hips in a circle. "But I'm damned good competition."

Pulling out all of a sudden, Raylan swatted him again a few times, pausing between each one to build up a fraction of suspense before he swung and as soon as he had, he was repositioning himself and sinking back into Malcolm furiously as the heat started coiling along his spine.

"And you need the use."

[abrightboy]

The sounds those slaps got out of him were gutteral and were decidedly not sounds of pain. When Raylan pushed back into him, he rode harder into those movements, moaning into them as they grew more intense.

[tinstar]

Oh this was definitely happening again, but the first rush of it all was a lot for Raylan's senses, even as he rode Malcolm harder to match the way he pushed himself back, properly letting him fall into a 'using' pace.

"Fuck, Malcolm," he warned before his head rolled back and climax racked his body, tensing it tight against him as he unloaded with a strangled gasp of a breath that slipped into a groan as it was let from his lungs. His body moved for a few seconds afterwards, but quickly slowed to a stop as Raylan dropped forward on his hands, head hung as he worked to catch his breath.

[abrightboy]

Malcolm was going to take that as a compliment. He lowered his backside down to rest on his legs, also trying to catch his breath before glancing over his shoulder to look for Raylan.

"The bed's holding up so far," he panted.

[tinstar]

"Good craftsmanship," he replied, no less heavy of breath. With an exhaled 'Oh', Raylan rested his forehead on Malcolm's shoulder for a moment before pulling his hips back enough to withdraw before leaning the weight of his hips back down.

"Good purchase. Should definitely come with us to Florida."

After another second, Raylan rolled over onto his side and uncuffed the closest hand. "You okay?"

[abrightboy]

Malcolm laughed lightly.

"I'm not sure there's a word for how great I feel right now," he said, still a little breathless. He used his newly freed hand to free his other hand, then shifted to lie down with his head in the crook of Raylan's shoulder. "But I am definitely at least okay."

He tilted his head to look up at Raylan. "You? That wasn't... too weird or anything?"

He meant the first part. Raylan didn't seem entirely sure of his comfort at the start.

[tinstar]

He grinned in response as Malcolm turned and tucked in against him, allowing his hand to curl and drape on Malcolm's side. "Good," he breathed, heartbeat drumming loudly in his own ears as much as he imagined it was drumming into Malcolm's through his chest.

The question was a valid one and Raylan knew it was coming, but the answer wasn't as readily available as he would have liked, and his brow pinched a little. "I don't know. How bad was it?"

It didn't really matter how well he'd done; that wasn't the issue.

[abrightboy]

Malcolm's brow pinched in genuine confusion.

"...What? No. It was great; that's not what I meant." He let his eyes wander Raylan's face for a moment. "You still don't want to talk about it?" he guessed. "That's okay," he added quickly, reaching up to brush his thumb along Raylan's jaw. "Just... don't go thinking that it wasn't good. It was great."

[tinstar]

He didn't know how to talk about it, really, and he was an old dog that didn't much care for new tricks. He also didn't want to accidentally get any of his mess all over Malcolm and have a misunderstanding. It didn't have much to do with Malcolm personally, beyond the magic the smaller man wielded in getting Raylan to crack himself open now and then.

"Findin' the right words are hard. I don't want you thinkin' it has anythin' because of you." And because he was a little worried about it getting thrown back at him. "I'm workin' through it. It wasn't terrible," he admitted. "And I quite liked the way you moved."

[abrightboy]

Malcolm nodded. "It's not the sort of thing you've ever talked about," Malcolm recognized. He paused, considering Raylan's face, his thumb still absently stroking back and forth along his jaw. "Can I ask why you wanted to do it? You didn't have to. I'm sure you know you didn't have to. I hope you know I'm more satisfied with our sex life than I realized was actually possible."

[tinstar]

If it wasn't for Malcolm being the way he was, he would have kept it that way too. But part of him also had to recognize that this was something they were doing together, and considering how far out into left field this all was in general for him, a little feedback was helpful.

As was the thumb across his jaw and everything he saw in the pools of blues above him.

"Oral sex is somethin' I've always enjoyed in previous relationships. I want to enjoy it in this one too. But no, I didn't think I had to. You're.. very patient. Non Demanding." It was why he could do it, but no matter how open they got, he still wasn't ready to be quite that honest.

[abrightboy]

"I'm happy. It all comes from that place," he said, ducking his head with a smile. He lifted his eyes to find Raylan's face again, but after scanning it for a moment, he didn't ask another question. He pressed a gentle kiss to his mouth. "I know there's some speculation as to whether I'm sane, but that woman..." He gestured towards the door, a vague Winona-ish direction, "is crazy. I could never let you go," he murmured.

[tinstar]

"Is that what comes with happiness?" he asked with a pinched brow and a slightly self deprecating tone. The kiss was met with a softening of his features back into a smile and then, as Malcolm continued, a scoff.

"She lets everyone think I left her unless pressed," he admitted, head rolling back to look at the ceiling. "But sometimes I wonder if she wasn't right to. If we're not.. hopeless for tryin' to have somethin' normal with the way our lives are."

[abrightboy]

"What's 'normal'?" Malcolm pointed out. "I'm sure it's not a prerequisite for happiness, whatever it is. It sounds like a great big pile of other people's expectations to me. I'm tired as hell of what other people think I should want or be or do. Do you know who doesn't try to change me or 'fix' me? You. It's the freshest air I've ever breathed. If you love someone the way they are, then what's stopping you from making a life with them? Your job was an excuse, Raylan, because the reason you do the job is fundamentally part of who you are. And you're still a great partner and a great dad. Because of who you are, not in spite of it. It's not stopping you from having those things in your life. You have those things in your life." He gestured around. "An important thing to note in our apartment while the baby sleeps in the next room," he pointed out with a smile.

[tinstar]

A functioning relationship to start with but there was never stopping Malcolm once he got it in his head to make a point and one that very swiftly softened the curl of his everything as Malcolm got sweet.

"You know I think this is normal, right?" he asked, eyes a little serious as he studied Malcolm's face, his left hand stroking a few times in a short brush up Malcolm's side. Them being 'normal' was never a question. Their relationship surviving their jobs, fairer game. "You're more reasonable than her, I'll say that, but.."

There was always going to be that slight concern that things would just.. fall apart on him again.

"That is an important thing to note," he agreed, glancing backwards up at the monitor to catch the still sight of Willa asleep. He loved that little girl more than life itself and he still couldn't believe she existed.

[abrightboy]

"...This is normal?" He laughed. "I've never been called that before. Should I be offended or flattered?" he teased brightly. He pressed a kiss to Raylan's mouth and then studied his face again. "'But' what?" he asked gently. "I'm more reasonable, but what?"

[tinstar]

"Yeah," he said, one shoulder lifting up with a tentative curl of his lips. "I vote flattered," he managed before Malcolm kissed him, earning a tightening of his hand around Malcolm's waist.

And as much as Raylan would have liked to just linger in that moment, hopeful that they wouldn't really have to dig into things, Malcolm continued and the slant of easy amusement that had started to creep into his features crept back out. Serious hazel eyes watched the man leaned above him and he worried that saying anything more would fuck up the nice even ground they'd found again.

"Her blaming my job is only half not reasonable. The other half is dealing with the threat of getting gunned down in her own home or in mine, or at work. I can't blame her for that. It hasn't happened with us, with you, yet. But Winona saw a lot. People aren't meant to live with a constant fear like that." Of course, that statement was laughable when applied to Malcolm; he'd overcome so much, but he was unique in more ways than one.

"You deal with enough fear. What's gonna happen when my job puts more on?" It wasn't a family friend murderer in a basement - it was people that would strike when guard was down. When it was meant to be down, at home.

[abrightboy]

"It's not her choosing to leave that I object to," Malcolm said. "If what she needed was the safety, then she had a right to choose that. That isn't her problematic behaviour. But I know what I'm signing up for. Remember what you told me the first night you climbed in my bed?"

[tinstar]

"I've told you a lotta things, so you're gonna havta narrow it down a little." Raylan had always offered him a reassuring shoulder and ear whenever he could; at least five different things popped up in his head.

[abrightboy]

"You said that I warned you and you made your choice and if you got hurt, then I wasn't allowed to feel responsible," Malcolm reminded him. "I hope you didn't think that was a one-way thing."

[tinstar]

"An elbow to the face or a broken nose isn't a bullet, but I take your point," he admitted with concession. "Doesn't mean I'm not gonna worry about it anyway, in the back of my head. I'll work on it, I promise."

It was the best he could do.