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abrightboy

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From:

abrightboy

Just ask. I hate conversational games. The thing is, I didn't specify who I apologized to or for what for the same reason you didn't name who you think I mistreated. It's going to be hard to get into specifics like that. So maybe you could check in with the anonymous person I wronged, ask if I apologized and ask their permission to talk to me about it, if you still don't feel good about it. Then call me back and just ask. And if they don't want you to talk to me about it, then that's their choice, right? I think that would be the best way to proceed.

From:

deuceoftears

Alright, I'll take you at your word.

I will reach out. In the meantime, in the interest of bluntness...

[Jedao rubs his mouth for a moment, deliberately telegraphing his very real discomfort.]

Does Neal have your permission to share details of your file?

From:

abrightboy

I trust Neal’s discretion to decide whether he needs to. Why?

From:

deuceoftears

Because he told me a lot of things. The kinds of things that, if someone I loved and trusted was telling people, whom they were actively mad at regarding their treatment of me, about me - I'd want to talk to that person and make sure they understood my preferences. About discretion. That's all.

From:

abrightboy

Maybe he does. What sorts of things?

From:

deuceoftears

[Do you look like your father, Malcolm? whispers the part of him that knows exactly where to slide a knife, metaphorically and literally. I look exactly like mine.

He doesn't say that.]

About your father, and how people treated you because of it.

Edited Date: 20 Oct 2023 02:37 (UTC)

From:

abrightboy

I pretty much thought everyone knew that. That’s me one-oh-one.

From:

deuceoftears

Among people who know you well, I suppose.

It was just - a lot of details. He talked about how you got your scar, and the friend who broke things off with you, and the time you were trapped in a closet.

He seemed quite sure the glitter would seem...of a piece, to you. A message of larger, unrelenting antipathy, or salt in those old wounds.

From:

abrightboy

I mean… I guess when I opened the drawer, I was like… oh, this again. But it’s so commonplace in my life, I didn’t really see the point of pursuing it. …Neal said that?

From:

deuceoftears

Not in so few words. But that was my understanding.

And I don't bear you unrelenting anything, for the record.

From:

abrightboy

[Malcolm smiles to himself.]

I’ve never had a friend like him.

From:

deuceoftears

I'm not sure he's necessarily making your best case to everyone, but it is very nice to have a partisan, sometimes. And he seems like a man of wonderful convictions.

From:

abrightboy

He makes a better case than I can make. People hear him, at least. He knows how to be heard. And he cares. Not just about me. About anyone he sees being treated unfairly.

From:

deuceoftears

I'll admit, it is precisely the limits of what he sees that bothers me, somewhat. But perhaps I'm just being terribly Shuos about it.

From:

abrightboy

Which limits?

From:

deuceoftears

There's a lot of people's files he hasn't read. Nor will nor should he, in many cases. But it is a factor.

From:

abrightboy

A factor in what?

From:

deuceoftears

Just...fraught situations, in general.

From:

abrightboy

…Okay. So… talk to the person and let me know?

From:

deuceoftears

I will.

[ - Some 24 hours later -]

Well, the good news is, to my knowledge you haven't missed anyone.

From:

abrightboy

Um. Okay. Cool. Does ‘the good news is’ mean there’s bad news?

From:

deuceoftears

Maybe. It's Sebastian I spoke to; he's interpreted your apology in a way I hope is incorrect, as well as uncharitable.

From:

abrightboy

…I told him I was completely out of line and exhibited behaviour that wouldn’t be acceptable coming from anyone. Which part did he object to?

From:

deuceoftears

I'm afraid he took "It just wasn't acceptable behaviour on anyone's part," to imply that he was equally in the wrong. On anyone's part referring to the behavior of everyone involved, rather than your hypothetical position.

Which - frankly, awkwardly phrased, but Sebastian does make something of a sport of uncharitable readings, that's not all on you. I'm glad to hear you meant the other thing.