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abrightboy

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From:

talesuntold

[That wasn't what she expected to hear, but okay.] If you think we need one? Or if you'd feel better with one?

I'm not saying no, but I'm not feeling very fighty at the moment, which is why I suggested this.

From:

abrightboy

It doesn’t make me more comfortable. It seems to make other people more comfortable.

I’m free now if you’re okay to come on your own.

From:

talesuntold

My goal is for us to get to the point that we don't need a mediator. In general, but hopefully also building enough of a baseline that it holds even when things go to hell.

Now works fine, thanks. See you in a few.

From:

abrightboy

[That sure is his goal with the mediator. He shrugs.]

Okay. I’ll leave the door open.

From:

talesuntold

Maggie spends enough time managing people, and has enough of a knack for it, that the idea of needing a mediator at all is foreign. She's hoping that going in here without already being on edge will let her usual people skills kick in, in a way they haven't with Malcolm previously.

As promised, she knocks a couple minutes later before opening the door. "Hey, Malcolm."

From:

abrightboy

Malcolm looks over from the kitchen island, where he’s already making tea.

“Hi.”

The parakeet trills and flaps in her cage as Maggie passes it.

“Tea? Coffee? Sparkling water?”

From:

talesuntold

"Tea's perfect, thank you." She pretty much never says no to that.

"What's your bird's name?"

From:

abrightboy

He glances over at the cage and smiles faintly before turning to take down two mugs.

“Sunshine.”

From:

talesuntold

Maggie grins. "Sunshine is a good one. I haven't named most of my own pets, and some of my dogs back home came to me with absurd names. I have a bulldog named Kitty. But she answered to it, so I couldn't very well change it."

From:

abrightboy

"If a bulldog identifies as a kitty, who are any of us to tell her otherwise?" Malcolm jokes. He gestures towards the cage with a mug before setting it down on the counter. "She answers to it, too."

From:

talesuntold

"I've never spent time around birds, but I know some of them are really smart." She has no trouble believing Sunshine answers to her name.

"Did she adjust okay after you transformed? That's one of my big concerns about going back home; I'll have to re-home any of my dogs who can't cope with being around a wolf. I plan on bringing Iris to help the transition, so hopefully I won't lose all of them."

From:

abrightboy

"She was skittish for a little bit, but she's okay now," Malcolm tells her. "Like, for a bit, when she was out, she wouldn't land on or near me. But she's back to normal."

He pours tea from the pot on the counter into the cups and pushes one across to Maggie.

"What did you want to talk about?" he asks curiously.

From:

talesuntold

"Thanks," she murmurs as she accepts the mug, then replies, "Communication in general. Which ways we've set each other off, how we can hopefully avoid it going forward. I saw your response to Neal, which seemed like a good opening, but I've been wanting to do this for a little while."

Shaking her head, she adds ruefully, "And I think it's smart to do it while emotions aren't running high. Jedao nominated me for mediation today, and I think I know why; he was there when I talked Jesus down during the sword curse. But he's never seen me angry or hurt. I said I'd only do it conditional on planning to recuse myself when I can't trust my impartiality or my temper."

From:

abrightboy

Malcolm quirks his lips faintly and looks into his cup for a moment.

"My emotions are always running high, but I'll do my best." He pauses and glances up at her. "What about my response to Neal?"

From:

talesuntold

Maggie offers a small smile. "I'm pretty steady today, at least. And the bit about needing to get things out before being able to actually field logical questions definitely hits home. In case that ever comes up again."

She purses her lips. "If I'm fielding logical questions before I get things out, I tend to... shut down isn't quite the right word, but I lock 'for public consumption' Maggie into place, especially if those guesses or questions are off base. Me shutting down sometimes looks like me being matter of fact if I'm hurting or cheerful if I'm furious. You grow up in the public eye and maintain an internet persona for a living, you get good at compartmentalizing. Which is what happened during that attempted therapy session. I was trying to let go for a few minutes, but went the opposite direction instead."

She hurries to add, "I'm not trying to critique your handling of it right now. I just think it's a useful example if we're going to understand each other."

From:

abrightboy

"I grew up in the public eye," Malcolm tells her. "Just... never for anything I did and never for anything good. It's one of the reasons I changed my name. The Surgeon's Son disappears from google results after about 2007. One of my big concerns there is my current name ending up linked, in the public domain, to my former name."

He considers his tea for a moment, then looks up at her.

"In the interest if being clear about that example, my feelings on it were that you never gave what I do a chance. It wasn't what you were looking for and I get that, but... you came to me to give it a try and you didn't really try it." He shrugs a shoulder. "You're not the only one. Not by a mile. That's one of the reasons I curate my client list a little more carefully since my break from Counselling. It was... harming me, trying to fit into a box that I would never fit into."

From:

talesuntold

"That's understandable, and I'm sorry. I was hurting so badly that your first question being so far off base knocked me off course enough to feel... unseen and unheard. And then I was afraid to fall apart in front of you because I didn't trust that you'd see enough of me to help put me back together. Which wasn't entirely fair. But I was too much of a disaster that week to be fair."

From:

abrightboy

He shrugs. “We both learned something,” he says, wrapping both hands around his cup.

From:

talesuntold

Maggie hums her agreement.

"I don't want to hurt you or back you into a corner, or for us to be circling each other with metaphorical hackles raised." She gives him a flicker of a smile as she adds, "...Hopefully not literal ones, although of course that's also a possibility now."

From:

abrightboy

Malcolm shrugs expansively.

"I don't really do hackles, wolfwise. I'm not much for... hackling."

One of the reasons he's not entirely sure he's doing it right, though he's been told you can't really do it wrong.

"But I don't want that either. The... metaphorical stuff."

He pauses, considers the liquid in his cup a moment, then looks at her.

"I'm not sure how we actually get to know each other at this point. How does that work?" He's really asking.

From:

talesuntold

"I would, although I'm doing my best to avoid being wolf-shaped while angry until I'm more used to things." She wants to be sure she can trust her own restraint.

She laughs softly at the question. "I mean, there's a few paths for that. Surface getting to know you sorts of conversations and shared activities are the slower option. Diving straight into views on emotional situations or topics is a speed run, provided we're both willing to accept the premise that we're coming at the conversation in good faith. Pack stuff, for instance."

And of course, "If you decide later that you want an actual primer to what it's like in my head, my blog with the unpublished entries included is one, but that's both one sided and too much like a homework assignment to shove at anyone unprompted."

From:

abrightboy

“I don’t think I need to go as far as immersion,” Malcolm admits. “But I also don’t have much patience for slow. So. I guess the middle one.”

From:

talesuntold

Maggie grins. "I figured that would be your answer."

But she'll sober as she settles more comfortably, considering where to jump in. "Anywhere you want to start, or should I?"

From:

abrightboy

“You’re the journalist; I should probably let you start the question… thing,” Malcolm tells her.

From:

talesuntold

"I've got lots of pack feelings and opinions. To start with, I'll tell you that none of these are a secret to Lark. I wouldn't say anything behind his back that I'm not willing to bring up with him directly."

She purses her lips, then says, "I had it out with him after he showed up over poor contingency planning on multiple fronts. One of those fronts, although not the one I took personally, was you. I think he did you a disservice, not taking into account the possibility of vanishing and making sure you were willing to turn to Iris for questions and support. That you had pack besides him, and maybe guidelines left behind just in case. I feel very strongly that part of taking care of your people is making sure they'll be okay if you're removed from the picture. Because there's always a chance. And you deserved better."

Edited Date: 11 Jan 2024 04:32 (UTC)