No One's Born Broken

[abrightboy]

For tinstar.



Gil came and went. Dani came and went. Ainsley came and then left with their mother, who refused to even hear him out about telling the truth. He stared through the window at the motionless man in the bed for some indeterminate amount of time, his hand clutching his phone in his pocket.

Finally he let his eyes leave the figure through the window and he took his phone out of his pocket. He stared at that for a long moment, then scrolled through his contacts until one name rolled onto the screen: Raylan Givens.

He looked through the window, then looked at the name. Then he pressed it.

Comments

[tinstar]

That? That was the baggage talking. Raylan squeezed his hand around Malcolm's shoulder gently before rubbing up and down a little.

"Civilians can't look people up using our systems and I very highly doubt anyone in my office is gonna help her spy on a Deputy US Marshal or the people I deal with, no matter what kinda dealin' that is." He shook his head.

"She'd be too afraid of gettin' caught herself. That's why she normally has me run that kinda stuff." And since her favorite tool was directly against it, Raylan wasn't too worried. "I'd like to think she's not that kinda vindictive. Besides. Statue of limitations on her actual theft which I am not telling you about, still isn't up."

He could play dirty if he was forced to.

[abrightboy]

Malcolm smiled softly. It was reassuring that she lacked the tools to dig like that. It was reassuring that Raylan wanted to protect him as much as he wanted to protect Raylan.

He shifted Willa to the side a little bit, just enough that he could lean in and press a gentle kiss to Raylan's mouth, before bringing her back around to look into her little face. "They're just a million possibilities at this age, aren't they?" he noted.

[tinstar]

Raylan could handle whatever Winona threw at him, not including any threats to his parentage, but he wasn't going to let her tear Malcolm down because she wasn't expecting Raylan to go this way. The kiss was a bit of a surprise, but Raylan met it with a hum and tucked his beer between his legs so he could wipe his hand off on his shirt and reach over to stroke Willa's head.

"It's terrifying. Everything we know that could go wrong. How unprepared she'll be no matter what we do." The collective We included Malcolm too. With another breath, Raylan got his beer in hand and took another drink.

"I try not to think about it too much. Not yet. Right now my job is just to make sure she's safe and taken care of. A toe in the water, I figure. Maybe that's why God waits a little before their brains start growing those parts."

[abrightboy]

Malcolm looked at him sidelong. "I was thinking more along the lines of all the things she could be, all the choices she'll get, all the directions she could choose to grow in... She has no limits right now. She can do anything."

[tinstar]

"You're an optimist; it's part of why I love you." He was not. It was his job to not be and he was good at it.

"Maybe she'll grow up and be a.. physicist or something. I could handle that. Something in a lab." Something safe.

[abrightboy]

"Am I? My therapist says I'm wired to see the worst in people and that's why I'm good at my job," he admitted. "But..." He bounced her gently. "There's nothing to see here except all the lit up paths to the future spread out ahead of her."

[tinstar]

Willa reached up with her fat little hand, clumsily grabbing at Malcolm's tie as her mouth opened only to catch her own empty fist. Raylan knew his smile hadn't vanished; he could feel it still there, almost making his cheeks hurt.

"People, sure. But situations?" Raylan tilted his head a little, eyebrows lifting a fraction. "Almost always optimistic. Even if its just to things turning out well. She'll need that. Hell, I need that."

[abrightboy]

Malcolm grinned at him, then looked at her as he felt the pull at his tie, then looked at Raylan again.

"I've worked really hard at seeing the world as something other than relentlessly dark. Because it's not. But it can look that way for us. We've been around the dark so long."

He smiled at the baby.

"But she hasn't." He looked at Raylan. "She's never going to be. Her home is always going to be a safe place."

[tinstar]

He could only hum a note of acknowledgement in return. Maybe he hadn't been around the light enough to see it without looking, but he saw positive things for Loretta, considering. It was a step, anyway.

"It's one of the most valuable things we could give her, I think," he admitted softly. With a glance at his beer bottle, now mostly empty, Raylan continued. "Let me go throw this away and piss, then let's talk about supper. We can stare at her all night, but my stomach can't."

[abrightboy]

Malcolm smiled. "I'm going to let you order, because we're on your turf," he teased. He gestured out at the city scape. "Don't miss the whole sunset." He looked at Willa, bouncing her. "Red sky at night, sailor's delight," he cooed at her.

[tinstar]

Leaning over, Raylan pressed a kiss into Malcolm's hair and stood up, collecting his boots and Malcolm's shoes on the way and dropping them inside the terrace door. It only took him a minute or two to do what he'd said he was going to before he was padding, now barefoot, sans tie and shirt open and untucked, back out to join Malcolm and Willa.

"I hope you're okay with Mexican food. They don't really have soup, but they've got chips and I ordered some red beans on the side. It's basically thick soup." He sat down as he spoke, snatching Winona's beer for himself as he did so and reached over to boop Willa's nose, letting her grab and tug his finger afterwards.

[abrightboy]

"I'll give it a try," Malcolm said gamely.

He chuckled as the baby grabbed at Raylan's finger, bouncing her a little bit. Then it occurred to him that Raylan probably hadn't seen her in a little while. He looked at him. "Do you want her back?" he asked. "Sorry, I got... carried away," he admitted with a soft smile, tickling her chin.

[tinstar]

Raylan lifted his eyebrows at the question, lips curling at the edges as he tucked his beer between his legs again while Willa smiled broadly and turned her head away. Yes, she'd be ticklish.

"Yes, but only because it's my turn to get carried away," he said, grunting theatrically as he took her weight and shifted down a little to sit her on his stomach, one hand holding her at the back as he ran his fingers, scissor style up her belly. "I wish I could be here for all of it. The first time she rolled over, the first time she sat up on her own. I wanna make sure that I'm there for the ones that she'll remember. Kindergarten Graduation.. Softball."

He shifted his head to look over at Malcolm.

"You sure dealing with all this is worth it? Ex wife and all? I know she's cute," he said, eyes bobbing over to Willa. "But you haven't heard her cry yet. So maybe don't answer now," he said with a chuckle.

[abrightboy]

Malcolm picked up his glass and turned to sit facing Raylan and Willa, one leg pulled up onto the couch, gaze drifting from Raylan's face to Willa's as Raylan spoke.

"Of course it's worth it. Who wouldn't want this? The only thing I'm worried about with the ex-wife is having it taken away. I can't believe someone would invite me to be part of a child's life."

He lifted his gaze from Willa to Raylan. "It means a lot to me. Really. I won't take it lightly."

[tinstar]

"I don't know anything that you do take lightly," he replied with a curl of his lips before looking down at Willa. "We'll get through Winona together. Really, I think it'll be okay, once she gets used to the idea. And honestly? I think Gil would agree with my choice on lettin' you handle Willa. Your mental scars don't define you."

Raylan looked back over as he ended the sentiment. "We'll handle those together too."

[abrightboy]

Malcolm looked at him tenderly for a long moment, then got up on his knees on the couch so he could lean over without dislodging Willa and press a kiss to his mouth, his free hand resting just inside Raylan's collar, the other one holding his glass to the side of his shoulder.

"I love you so much," he murmured, pressing his forehead to Raylan's temple. "So much."

[tinstar]

There was no stopping the way his face softened or the way his smile curled as he looked over at the movement and met the kiss. Raylan's free hand came up around Malcolm's shoulder, holding him against him for the moment with a tight grip. He wouldn't be able to articulate just how those words really made him feel, a hot swelling his chest that made him feel like he was capable of anything. Of protecting the two people around him with everything.

Their reverie was broken by a knock on the door, drawing a sharp inhale of surprise, sounding more like he'd been woken up than startled, and Raylan hummed. "I love you too. That's probably dinner. It's already paid for, but would you get it? Let me get this beautiful girl and myself inside and at the table?" The last was really directed at Willa as Raylan begrudgingly lifted himself forward and turned her, tucking her into his arm so he could grab his beer.

"What'da think, Willa? Ready to down a taco or two? Doesn't even have to be Tuesday," he said, talking aimlessly at her as he made his way in, beer in hand.

[abrightboy]

Raylan got as far as 'it's already...' when Malcolm was practically jumping to his feet already, nodding at the question as it came, slipping past them towards the door, setting his scotch on the table as he passed.

He returned with the paper bags of food containers, setting them down to start fishing items out of them.

"What does she eat at this point?" Malcolm asked of Willa, not mentioning the cupboard full of baby food in the kitchen that he'd secured just in case.

[tinstar]

God he loved Malcolm. Even the way he jumped up to help, to be a part of it all, to not just be a bystander looking in. In Raylan's opinion it was a very good look on him. They hadn't gotten to do a lot of real domestics beyond that week Raylan had stayed up north, and something about being in a place that was going to be theirs made everything tonight better.

He could see them here, however temporarily. He could see them here, happy.

"Baby foods, though she still gets a bottle in the morning. Winona's tryin' to ween her off all the way, says it'll be another couple of weeks," he replied as he slid and got Willa into her highchair. "She gave me enough to cover the visit, I think." He glanced over at the diaper bag that he then went to fetch after Willa was secured.

"I didn't think about it before now, at least not this way, but you wanna talk about helpin'.. Feeding this ravenous beast and yourself at the same time is a pain in the ass. Well, feeding us at the same time." Three bites of soup took no time at all. "Uh.. Green beans.. Boston Cream pie?" He made a face and set those two down. "Sweet potatoes, that ain't bad.."

After a second, Raylan looked up. "Oh, shit, uh, you'll have to open the food to see what it is."

Red beans and rice in one tin plate with a cardboard paper lid, while the other had a chippy, cheesy mess with chunks of chicken, onion and bell pepper sticking out of it. Everything came with a bags of tortilla chips and salsa too, but Raylan didn't care for those as much and they'd likely end up thrown out.

[abrightboy]

"Um..." Malcolm looked over almost sheepishly as he pulled the lid off the beans and rice. "If you want more options, check the cupboard beside the fridge," he advised. "With the caveat that I may have gotten carried away, but I don't know her well enough to guess what she likes at this point," he explained, opening the mess of chicken and cheese with a skeptical look at it. "Though I might join her in a pureed vegetable of some sort..."

[tinstar]

Raylan's brow pinched a little as he caught up, looking over at the kitchen and ambling over there to start pulling open cabinets. There was no mistaking Willa's area in them and Raylan couldn't help but laugh a little.

"Wow. Looks like you cleared the store out. Different levels and everything." But the numbers on the jars matched some of these and he picked through them with interest. "I might join you both," he continued as he came back with two jars he thought more suitable. Turkey with gravy and a jar of peas. "Always wondered what this stuff tastes like.."

He looked over at Malcolm as he sat down and fished out Willa's spoon and bib. "Did you have fun today? I won't ask how much anything cost but." He would ask that.

[abrightboy]

"I didn't know what the numbers meant. Do you think they'll keep long enough for her to eat them?" he asked, scooping a small portion of beans and rice onto his plate. "I can't say I have a ton of experience with solid food, but I can't see it tasting much different for being mushed up."

He looked over at the last question and smiled.

"I did. It was totally different than furnishing my own place, thinking about you and what would work for the way we live together." He huffed a laugh at himself. "Not that we've spent a lot of time living together, but we've talked about it!"

[tinstar]

"Somethin' having to do with chunks, I'd bet," he theorized, turning over the food jar and looking around. "I thought these things kept forever like canned goods. It's got an expiration date of two years from now though so-" Raylan looked up. "I think we're okay. Anythin' she doesn't eat, you might," he said with a gentle tease as he velro'd the bib around Willa and popped the cap on the peas.

"We'll get to the living part. Sooner rather than later, I hope. I suppose I oughta thank you for not goin' overboard on leather." It was only a tease, Malcolm only had the one leather couch.

[abrightboy]

"I didn't even consider leather, I'll have you know. Since you don't like the way it sticks to your bum, which is an item I hope to see there," he teased back.

He scooped up a small forkful of beans and rice. "There was no backside I expected to see on my couch in New York when I bought it. You've changed my whole outlook on couches," he informed Raylan before taking a careful, experimental bite from his fork.

[tinstar]

Raylan grinned and bounced his eyebrows at that as he picked up Willa's spoon and dipped into the peas. "Here to help," he declared before taking a bite himself and pulling a face.

"You'd love it. Tastes like nothing. Well, not nothing." Just not anything he deemed good. Another bite was scooped out and Raylan started trying to feed his daughter, eyes mostly busy with her though he glanced over at Malcolm's experimental bite.

"And what about your outlook on red beans and rice?"