No One's Born Broken

[abrightboy]

For tinstar.



Gil came and went. Dani came and went. Ainsley came and then left with their mother, who refused to even hear him out about telling the truth. He stared through the window at the motionless man in the bed for some indeterminate amount of time, his hand clutching his phone in his pocket.

Finally he let his eyes leave the figure through the window and he took his phone out of his pocket. He stared at that for a long moment, then scrolled through his contacts until one name rolled onto the screen: Raylan Givens.

He looked through the window, then looked at the name. Then he pressed it.

Comments

[abrightboy]

"I don't even eat as much as half at a time, and I'm still alive," Malcolm pointed out cheerfully.

[tinstar]

"Yeah but I'm sure you had a decent start. I'd ask, but I'm afraid your mother would go on about it for a year and a half, with full insult in magazine." No thank you.

"I might have read a parenting book or two," he admitted with a look over. There was no might; Raylan had scoured too many baby sites looking for information over stupid worries he had. "Oh," he sounded, as he remembered. "Just so it's not a surprise later when she goes to the doctor for it - Willa's got a heart murmur. The doc says she might grow out of it, but it's something we-" The collective we, "- are keepin' an eye on."

[abrightboy]

"Heart murmurs are common in infants," Malcolm remarked, taking another bite of beans and rice. He gestured towards Willa with his fork. "They occur in sixty-six percent of children and seventy-five percent of newborns. So the probability that she'll grow out of it is actually extremely high. More likely than not." He looked up at Raylan suddenly. "I'm not suggesting that means you shouldn't keep an eye on it," he clarified, holding up a hand. "But it's... it's very common." He poked his fork into his rice and looked a little uncomfortable. "My father was a heart surgeon when he wasn't being a murderer." If anyone was wondering why he knew tidbits like that.

[tinstar]

Raylan looked over at that, immediately interested. Sometimes it was easy to forget how close to the medical field Malcolm himself was. Sure, he wasn't med trained, but he was who he was. He looked back at Willa thoughtfully.

"Huh. Okay. That's something. Shame he's a psychopath, I know he was a brilliant doctor." Too bad it wouldn't do anything for Winona's worry, but Raylan wasn't stupid enough to let on that he was involving Malcolm so deeply.

"I got the notice second hand and she was short on details beyond 'We're gonna watch it.'"

[abrightboy]

Malcolm nodded solemnly. "He was very renowned. He invented a procedure. They named it after him." A beat. "They've since renamed it," he added. Another beat. "He really thinks that, because he saved more lives as a doctor than he took as a murderer that he's a good person," Malcolm scoffed. He frowned as he processed what Raylan said. "You didn't get to go to the appointment? Did she invite you?"

[tinstar]

Raylan lifted his eyebrows and scoffed a nod at the mention of them renaming the procedure as he spooned another bite into Willa's mouth and picked up his fork for a bite of his own with another little shake of his head.

"Might make him feel better, but there's still bodies in the ground because of him." Just like there was for Raylan; didn't matter why. His good person card was revoked. "Nah. I barely made it to her prenatal appointments, or if I did, I was late. She learned early I'm bad at that."

He was busier out there stopping bad guys. It was a fair trade off, in his head.

[abrightboy]

"....So she doesn't even tell you about them?" Malcolm hazarded. "It should still be your choice."

He wouldn't put Raylan anywhere near the same category as his father. His father killed innocent people for fun. Raylan killed bad people to protect innocent people. Raylan was definitely a good person.

[tinstar]

"Maybe in passing," he admitted. But it was always too late for him to have gone, even if he wanted to. "But it's workin' out, so far," he continued, as though to excuse the situation in whole. "I don't feel bad for bein' late, and she isn't mad at me for it."

[abrightboy]

"...No. She's mad at you for sleeping with a man and having a job you've always had," Malcolm pointed out. "I'm not sure there's room for her to be mad about things that might actually be a bit warranted, but I don't know her that well."

[tinstar]

Raylan glanced up at the elaboration, turning back to Willa to finish getting the peas into her. "Better that than bein' mad about me gettin' shot, so I'm not sure I get to complain."

Nor would he if he did have that leeway. Raylan wasn't that type.

"We all justify bein' mad differently." Winona just happened to be wrong on some of them.

[abrightboy]

"Raylan.... how does she usually react to you seeing someone when you two are broken up?" Malcolm asked. "I assume there have been women when she wasn't around. I assume she's known about at least some of them."

[tinstar]

"I'm not defending what she said, Malcolm," he noted with a look as he stood up to go throw away the jar and wash off the baby spoon for the next course as he continued. "But I didn't see her for years after our divorce. Only woman she ever knew I was with, face to face, was Ava Crowder."

They hadn't talked about it yet; Raylan hadn't mentioned how he'd complicated his relationships in Harlan or his work in getting Boyd, but all that was long behind him now. Or at least it felt that way.

"She helped me out once by keeping Ava one night; she'd gotten drunk and was tauntin' some ugly men." And he wasn't talking about their faces. "Ava was taken with less.. surprise. There's a comradery of sorts there though - both country women, both saddled with me at some point." Both without him.

[abrightboy]

Malcolm nodded. "....So you were talking to Winona while you were seeing Ava, though," he clarified.

[tinstar]

"Kinda hard not to when we're workin' in the same courthouse." Raylan glanced over, almost guiltily as he popped the top to Willa's second jar. "Though I suppose I ought to tell you why Ava and I broke up. Winona came into my motel room one night, took off her ring and joined me in bed. Ava saw her come in and leave shortly after. We never really talked about it, them and I."

[abrightboy]

"She just... walked in and staked her territory," Malcolm pointed out, raising his eyebrows slightly. "I wish I could say that surprises me, but... that's exactly the sort of thing I was expecting. Remember when I suggested she was your backup plan for if you couldn't take... the pressure of this?" He held up his hands to preempt any jaw clenching or protest. "I was wrong. Very, very wrong. I know you don't have a backup, it's just... this was a hard dynamic to figure out, you and her, with the way you talk about her. But here's the thing: she's not your backup. But you're hers. She knew how to compete with Ava. I'm a monkeywrench in her proven formula. She doesn't know what to do about me. But she'll try to figure it out, once she gets past the whole... wrong genitals issue. I am not trying to be difficult about her, Raylan. I don't think she's going to swoop in and take you away from me. But I do think she's a bit petty and I want you to hear me right now: please, please take legal steps to protect your visitation rights to Willa before it gets to the point where it would be a court battle. Winona is not done staking her territory."

[tinstar]

Raylan was, honestly, a little surprised that Malcolm didn't turn any of it back on him. There was nothing to be done about it now, sure but Raylan knew he had to play some part. There was no jaw clenching or protest, effectively paused by Malcolm's gesturing hands, but his eyes narrowed a little at Malcolm's hypothesis.

He'd seen her, right? Winona Hawkings was not an unattractive woman. She could have anyone in the state, if she put her mind to it. Except him, now. Raylan was her backup for trouble... And her relationship with Gary.. And her relationship with him, directly, too. He frowned a little as he fiddled with the spoon, Willa next to him cooing with self discovery as a fat little hand reached out at him.

Raylan focused on getting the next spoonful into Willa's mouth for the moment.

"I'll look into it, like I said I would." Sooner or later. If she didn't lighten up, maybe. Whatever he said now though, it wasn't happening tonight and would kick around in his head until he made it happen.

[abrightboy]

Malcolm had seen Winona. She was, objectively, beautiful, sexy and smart. She was also the kind of spider that knew when it had something caught in its web.

Cunning was a type of smart.

"She doesn't think you love me, Raylan. She thinks you're acting out. That's how she's going to play it for now. If she finds out otherwise... it might get worse." He paused. "After you guys divorced... has she ever been interested in getting back together with you when you haven't been with someone else?"

[tinstar]

Yeah, she'd made that painfully clear. Late Life Crisis was a low blow, even in his book.

Turning back to his plate, Raylan lamely stabbed at his food. "After she left me, after she was pregnant, no - not really. But I wasn't in any real relationships then. Might have had a one night stand or two," he admitted with a bob of his head. "But my little black book isn't as big or as populated as most people think."

[abrightboy]

"Raylan, you realize she left a marriage to come between you and a girl you were only kind of into," Malcolm spelled out. "She doesn't want to be with you. But she does want to know that she has you when she wants you." Malcolm's face softened a little. "She's not going to take this well and it has nothing to do with her Catholic mother and a social crisis. That's an excuse. It has to do with her perception of her hold on you and right now her big crisis is wondering whether she still has sex as a tool to exercise it."

[tinstar]

"No, she left her marriage because Gary is a sad sack of spinless shit who put a mortgage on their house to finance a racing horse after almost getting them both killed by the Dixie Mafia. But I take your point."

The bite didn't make it into his mouth, just getting moved around his barely touched plate.

"Just.. Let me talk to her. No sex included." Obviously.. He hoped that was obvious, anyway. "Her mother is gonna have a conniption fit though."

[abrightboy]

"I can't say I really understand why her mother gets to have an opinion on our relationship, but okay," Malcolm replied. He looked at Raylan's plate. "I shouldn't have said anything at dinner. I've eaten more than you have." He gestured to his plate with his fork. "And it's good," he assured him, if eating a good ten bites or so wasn't assurance enough. And he ate another for good measure. Then he looked at Raylan. "I'd be willing to bet you a hundred dollars that she tries to have sex with you," Malcolm said plainly. "And that, when you turn her down, she suggests you're sick or broken in some way."

[tinstar]

"By virtue of being Willa's Grandmother and Winona's mother. We're all allowed opinions by and large." But Malcolm was off noticing how little he'd eaten and it prompted him to put a bite into his mouth. Feeding Willa made it hard for him to focus on his own meal, otherwise he would be further along.

His jaw tightened a little as Malcolm kept at it and he leveled a look over the table.

"And what do you suggest against that?" He didn't know either, but he wasn't saying no to collecting possibilities.

[abrightboy]

Malcolm couldn't help it. Malcolm was Malcolm as much as Winona was Winona and Raylan was Raylan.

"There's nothing to be done against it," he said matter-of-factly. "But if I'm wrong, then I don't understand what she is and I'll come over to your 'she's not like that' side. But, if I'm right on both counts, then I read her like a book and you listen to me about her intentions before it's too late," he suggested. "Because you don't want to believe it. And I understand why. But she can hurt you if she feels compelled and I can't just sit here and shut up and allow it."

[tinstar]

"Then let me handle it," he said, eyes sharpening a little with the statement. "I was married to the woman for 6 years and managed to stand up to her, I think I can manage for Willa's lifetime too. Don't tell me I don't know her, or what she's capable of." He took a breath and tried a less tight tone of voice. "You made your point."

[abrightboy]

Malcolm nodded and set his fork down, suitably chastened. He'd overstepped.

It was not his first time.

It wasn't even his first time with Raylan.

He looked at the table as he took a breath, then looked at Raylan. "I'm sorry," he said sincerely. Maybe he was overreacting. Maybe being trivialized by Winona in the same way his mother trivialized his job triggered something. He bristled at his greatest passions being treated like silly infatuations past due to pass. "I shouldn't have said anything."