No One's Born Broken

[abrightboy]

For tinstar.



Gil came and went. Dani came and went. Ainsley came and then left with their mother, who refused to even hear him out about telling the truth. He stared through the window at the motionless man in the bed for some indeterminate amount of time, his hand clutching his phone in his pocket.

Finally he let his eyes leave the figure through the window and he took his phone out of his pocket. He stared at that for a long moment, then scrolled through his contacts until one name rolled onto the screen: Raylan Givens.

He looked through the window, then looked at the name. Then he pressed it.

Comments

[abrightboy]

"I gave the drill back to the installers," he promised.

Malcolm followed him back inside and poured himself a couple fingers of scotch as Raylan retrieved his beer, then followed him back outside, toeing his shoes off to pull his feet up onto the sofa as he leaned against Raylan's side. His eyes wandered back to the baby.

"Willa is a pretty name," he noted softly wiggling his finger at her hand. "How did you choose it?"

[tinstar]

"Lucky us."

Thinking better of it as he walked inside, Raylan collected both his bottle and the one that Winona had abandoned in her fury, bending oddly to the side to manage to reach the second before walking back out and sitting down with a grunt. Setting one beer down on the coffee table, Raylan sat back with a sigh and a smile as Malcolm joined him.

Being barefoot sounded like a good idea and Raylan worked on toeing off his boots as he answered, starting with a hum. "Winona chose it. It's a family name, one of her grandmothers. Willa Givens," he echoed, bouncing her a little with a smile. "Fits together, I think. A blend of her and I both.." He looked over.

"You wanna hold her?"

[abrightboy]

Malcolm sat up, his eyes widening a little.

"... I can hold her?"

He set his glass on the table to free both hands and looked at her, then at Raylan. "It's really okay?"

[tinstar]

Raylan huffed a little chuckle at the way Malcolm reacted and leaned his baby bearing shoulder towards him.

"I think you know the rules with babies right? Don't drop 'em, no drinking and definitely no child labor.. Til she's at least eight," he said jokingly with a grin.

[abrightboy]

Malcolm laughed in delight and took her carefully, supporting her head against his upper arm as he cradled her in his elbow, steadying her with his other hand. He looked at Raylan. "Where do exciting classic stories about pirates and revenge fall in there?" he asked with a grin. "Maybe we'll start with the Dr Seuss and this series they sold me about a turtle named Franklin and work our way up to Dumas," he conceded, looking down into her face.

"Hello," he murmured, bouncing her slightly. "It's very nice to meet you."

[tinstar]

Shifting a little, beer getting transferred into his off hand, Raylan put his other arm behind Malcolm's shoulders on the couch as he watched the interaction. Willa took the hand off well, only forcing out one half cried, half grunted note of protest as she arched but she got caught up in his face as he spoke to her, like little eyes do.

"Dr Seuss is probably the better place to start," Raylan said with a smile. "Let's leave the pirates and revenge for six years old."

In the back of his head, Raylan couldn't help but think about the Givens family feud and how revenge kind of haunted them all. But he wasn't going to let that stop him from enjoying this brief, perfect moment of peace.

"Cute little stinker, ain't she." Raylan looked out over their view and smiled a bit more broadly as he took another pull from his beer.

"You're right about the view," he said idly, softly. "How long do you get to stay for again?"

[abrightboy]

"I don't know yet," Malcolm said. His eyes lingered on the baby's face for a moment and then he looked at Raylan. "My father is still in the hospital. I think everyone wants me away from that right now anyway." He looked down at Willa. "And I'd rather be here."

He considered her a moment, then looked at Raylan. "She's really warm," he remarked with wonder. He watched her face. "I wonder what it's like not to have any baggage at all."

I've just decided Willa's middle name is Frances

[tinstar]

Raylan moved his arms to lay across Malcolm's shoulders properly, like it's weight could protect Malcolm from having to go back at all. Without doubt, without argument, Raylan would rather him be here too, especially when he got to having that look on his face.

"Wait til you feel her after she's been asleep," he replied, looking down at her perfect little face before looking over at Malcolm's profile. "Do you remember what it was like before everything with your father fell apart? I hope it's like that."

Malcolm sounded like he was happy, before he really learned what his father was.

AS IT SHOULD BE.

[abrightboy]

Malcolm smiled faintly. "Except real," he concurred.

He looked at Raylan suddenly as a thought occurred to him. "You don't think Winona is going to... look me up or something, do you? Because she knows people in the justice department and if she looks for dirt on me... well, she wouldn't have to dig deep or hard. 'Oh, look, fired from the FBI. Oh, look, son of an infamous murderer. Oh, look, history of serious mental illness...'" He pressed his lips together. "I'm a liability."

[tinstar]

That? That was the baggage talking. Raylan squeezed his hand around Malcolm's shoulder gently before rubbing up and down a little.

"Civilians can't look people up using our systems and I very highly doubt anyone in my office is gonna help her spy on a Deputy US Marshal or the people I deal with, no matter what kinda dealin' that is." He shook his head.

"She'd be too afraid of gettin' caught herself. That's why she normally has me run that kinda stuff." And since her favorite tool was directly against it, Raylan wasn't too worried. "I'd like to think she's not that kinda vindictive. Besides. Statue of limitations on her actual theft which I am not telling you about, still isn't up."

He could play dirty if he was forced to.

[abrightboy]

Malcolm smiled softly. It was reassuring that she lacked the tools to dig like that. It was reassuring that Raylan wanted to protect him as much as he wanted to protect Raylan.

He shifted Willa to the side a little bit, just enough that he could lean in and press a gentle kiss to Raylan's mouth, before bringing her back around to look into her little face. "They're just a million possibilities at this age, aren't they?" he noted.

[tinstar]

Raylan could handle whatever Winona threw at him, not including any threats to his parentage, but he wasn't going to let her tear Malcolm down because she wasn't expecting Raylan to go this way. The kiss was a bit of a surprise, but Raylan met it with a hum and tucked his beer between his legs so he could wipe his hand off on his shirt and reach over to stroke Willa's head.

"It's terrifying. Everything we know that could go wrong. How unprepared she'll be no matter what we do." The collective We included Malcolm too. With another breath, Raylan got his beer in hand and took another drink.

"I try not to think about it too much. Not yet. Right now my job is just to make sure she's safe and taken care of. A toe in the water, I figure. Maybe that's why God waits a little before their brains start growing those parts."

[abrightboy]

Malcolm looked at him sidelong. "I was thinking more along the lines of all the things she could be, all the choices she'll get, all the directions she could choose to grow in... She has no limits right now. She can do anything."

[tinstar]

"You're an optimist; it's part of why I love you." He was not. It was his job to not be and he was good at it.

"Maybe she'll grow up and be a.. physicist or something. I could handle that. Something in a lab." Something safe.

[abrightboy]

"Am I? My therapist says I'm wired to see the worst in people and that's why I'm good at my job," he admitted. "But..." He bounced her gently. "There's nothing to see here except all the lit up paths to the future spread out ahead of her."

[tinstar]

Willa reached up with her fat little hand, clumsily grabbing at Malcolm's tie as her mouth opened only to catch her own empty fist. Raylan knew his smile hadn't vanished; he could feel it still there, almost making his cheeks hurt.

"People, sure. But situations?" Raylan tilted his head a little, eyebrows lifting a fraction. "Almost always optimistic. Even if its just to things turning out well. She'll need that. Hell, I need that."

[abrightboy]

Malcolm grinned at him, then looked at her as he felt the pull at his tie, then looked at Raylan again.

"I've worked really hard at seeing the world as something other than relentlessly dark. Because it's not. But it can look that way for us. We've been around the dark so long."

He smiled at the baby.

"But she hasn't." He looked at Raylan. "She's never going to be. Her home is always going to be a safe place."

[tinstar]

He could only hum a note of acknowledgement in return. Maybe he hadn't been around the light enough to see it without looking, but he saw positive things for Loretta, considering. It was a step, anyway.

"It's one of the most valuable things we could give her, I think," he admitted softly. With a glance at his beer bottle, now mostly empty, Raylan continued. "Let me go throw this away and piss, then let's talk about supper. We can stare at her all night, but my stomach can't."

[abrightboy]

Malcolm smiled. "I'm going to let you order, because we're on your turf," he teased. He gestured out at the city scape. "Don't miss the whole sunset." He looked at Willa, bouncing her. "Red sky at night, sailor's delight," he cooed at her.

[tinstar]

Leaning over, Raylan pressed a kiss into Malcolm's hair and stood up, collecting his boots and Malcolm's shoes on the way and dropping them inside the terrace door. It only took him a minute or two to do what he'd said he was going to before he was padding, now barefoot, sans tie and shirt open and untucked, back out to join Malcolm and Willa.

"I hope you're okay with Mexican food. They don't really have soup, but they've got chips and I ordered some red beans on the side. It's basically thick soup." He sat down as he spoke, snatching Winona's beer for himself as he did so and reached over to boop Willa's nose, letting her grab and tug his finger afterwards.

[abrightboy]

"I'll give it a try," Malcolm said gamely.

He chuckled as the baby grabbed at Raylan's finger, bouncing her a little bit. Then it occurred to him that Raylan probably hadn't seen her in a little while. He looked at him. "Do you want her back?" he asked. "Sorry, I got... carried away," he admitted with a soft smile, tickling her chin.

[tinstar]

Raylan lifted his eyebrows at the question, lips curling at the edges as he tucked his beer between his legs again while Willa smiled broadly and turned her head away. Yes, she'd be ticklish.

"Yes, but only because it's my turn to get carried away," he said, grunting theatrically as he took her weight and shifted down a little to sit her on his stomach, one hand holding her at the back as he ran his fingers, scissor style up her belly. "I wish I could be here for all of it. The first time she rolled over, the first time she sat up on her own. I wanna make sure that I'm there for the ones that she'll remember. Kindergarten Graduation.. Softball."

He shifted his head to look over at Malcolm.

"You sure dealing with all this is worth it? Ex wife and all? I know she's cute," he said, eyes bobbing over to Willa. "But you haven't heard her cry yet. So maybe don't answer now," he said with a chuckle.

[abrightboy]

Malcolm picked up his glass and turned to sit facing Raylan and Willa, one leg pulled up onto the couch, gaze drifting from Raylan's face to Willa's as Raylan spoke.

"Of course it's worth it. Who wouldn't want this? The only thing I'm worried about with the ex-wife is having it taken away. I can't believe someone would invite me to be part of a child's life."

He lifted his gaze from Willa to Raylan. "It means a lot to me. Really. I won't take it lightly."

[tinstar]

"I don't know anything that you do take lightly," he replied with a curl of his lips before looking down at Willa. "We'll get through Winona together. Really, I think it'll be okay, once she gets used to the idea. And honestly? I think Gil would agree with my choice on lettin' you handle Willa. Your mental scars don't define you."

Raylan looked back over as he ended the sentiment. "We'll handle those together too."

[abrightboy]

Malcolm looked at him tenderly for a long moment, then got up on his knees on the couch so he could lean over without dislodging Willa and press a kiss to his mouth, his free hand resting just inside Raylan's collar, the other one holding his glass to the side of his shoulder.

"I love you so much," he murmured, pressing his forehead to Raylan's temple. "So much."