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abrightboy

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From:

abrightboy

Well, I’m a weirdo and Will’s a weirdo so… we’re less at risk. [Though Will had two relationships in his world; he does better than Malcolm.]

From:

ukan

What, you don't think anyone would want Will's weird?

From:

abrightboy

It’s not that so much. He’s very attractive. I just think if someone touches him without permission, they best prepare to be snapped like a pretzel stick and turned into weird flesh art by Will before they ever need worry about me.

From:

ukan

Depends. Will's crafty. Alec knows more about how to kill a person than Jeffrey Dahmer but he let Norton kiss him to prove to Norton he couldn't be seduced. It still bothered me that Norton did it because--well, instincts are what they are.

Weird flesh art is a fun mental image. He has experience with it?

From:

abrightboy

He’s a profiler that specializes in serial murder, too. Like me.

From:

ukan

Yeah I'm familiar with serial killers, too.... But flesh art isn't a typical aspect of it where I'm from.

From:

abrightboy

It was a main feature of one of his most high-profile cases.

From:

ukan

Mm. And it made an impact?

From:

abrightboy

Everything makes an impact. The way he interacts with the world is unique.

From:

ukan

And it's taken a toll.

From:

abrightboy

Everything takes a toll. Well. Almost everything. When we were on that space station I got him this helmet that gives a person a sort of portable sensory deprivation experience. For when people get too overwhelming. He says it helps.

From:

ukan

Where is he from again?

From:

abrightboy

He lives in Wolf Trap, West Virginia. He was teaching at Quantico. I know he did some work for the FBI in Baltimore, though.

From:

ukan

[Well he can't help but grin at the name.]

Being a wolf seems to help him with feeling overwhelmed, too. Or am I wrong?

From:

abrightboy

We like to run in the Enclosure when we need to… let go of something.

[He’s right.]

He took to it more naturally than I did.

From:

ukan

I think you're more prone to analyzing everything than he is. You dissect situations; he lives in them.

From:

abrightboy

I have to. I can’t trust my feelings about most things. They’re too big. Too much. I thought they’d bother Will, like shouting at someone with sensitive hearing. But he says he likes them. And… I think we both like… not masking at all. When there’s nobody else, we don’t have to be… self-edited for acceptable socialization.

From:

ukan

I've been afraid of my emotions. Other people's don't scare me. Even yours.

From:

abrightboy

I'm not afraid of my emotions. I'm afraid of the social cost of not being able to suppress emotional reactions or downregulate them or self-soothe to dissipate them.

I'm not self-sabotaging, Lark. I'm on the autism spectrum and I have complex PTSD and I literally cannot regulate my own sometimes disproportionate emotional reactions. That's what's wrong with me, if Archer wants to know. Also Will suspects an arrested emotional development, which makes a lot of sense and is common with cPTSD. He's going to help me with it.

From:

ukan

That's what I mean by being afraid of them. There's nothing inherently scary about feeling anything. If we didn't have social consequences, no one would be afraid of their feelings.

I think Will can help you. I also think he's an inmate working through his own massive, life-changing, life-or-death-consequences troubles right now and you need to look outside of him for additional help.

From:

abrightboy

I’m not… using him as my only support and I wouldn’t jeopardize his graduation. You sound like Shaw. I’ve been getting help for most of these problems all my life. I know what I need and where to get it.

From:

ukan

Where do you get it here? Because I wouldn't go to Sheehan and Kiryu isn't trained.

From:

abrightboy

I don’t need a therapist. I’ve had lots of therapy. What helps me is having people I can trust to talk to. To give me perspective. I do go to Kiryu for that. And Raylan. And Neal. And Francis. And I’ve talked to you about things I’ve never talked to anyone about.

From:

ukan

I'm glad.

And I'm not saying don't go to Will. I want to make sure you have a wide net, that's all. The more perspectives the better.

From:

abrightboy

Everyone assumes I don’t. That I’m using Will and don’t care what happens to him as long as I get what I want. That I’d suck the life out of him to get off and not even think about it.