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abrightboy

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From:

abrightboy

Does that mean only the wolves?

From:

ukan

Mostly yes.

Lately it's been more...complicated. Steve is one of my people. He saw me graduate. I couldn't have done it without him. So he's one of mine.

From:

abrightboy

Steve Rogers was your Warden?

From:

ukan

No, never. Which is good for us. I didn't respond well to wardens at the end of my stay.

From:

abrightboy

Even your own?

From:

ukan

Yeah. I manipulated them all. And then they left.

From:

abrightboy

That's more self-sabotage than advocating on the network.

From:

ukan

Yeah that's...what I'm worried about. The self-sabotage.

From:

abrightboy

How did you manipulate them?

From:

ukan

I told them what they needed to know, but no more.

From:

abrightboy

Do you think that's what made them leave?

From:

ukan

I think it was my unwillingness to be flexible that sent them away.

But some things can't be compromised on. It's...tricky.

From:

abrightboy

Which things?

From:

ukan

Loyalty to my people.

Aren't there things you don't compromise on?

From:

abrightboy

Having principles isn't self-sabotage. I haven't heard anything that sounds like self-sabotage yet.

From:

ukan

I think sometimes I get bored and pick fights. Make the task harder for myself than it needs to be.

From:

abrightboy

That might be a little bit. [But he says it with a laugh.] Lark… self-sabotage is… complicated. And it’s borne from a deep seated fear of success or feeling that you don’t deserve success. So… maybe you need better coping skills or anger management techniques, but that only makes you most people, not self-sabotaging.

Out of curiosity, why does Arthur think I’m self-sabotaging? What… is he pointing to as an indicator?

From:

ukan

Similar things I've just noted: we both have a habit of getting into arguments, with other wardens and inmates both. And it sometimes gets in the way of us getting what we're really after. So I wanted to explore that, know more about it, since everything he said about you could apply to me either now or in a pretty recent past.

Edited Date: 13 Dec 2023 01:20 (UTC)

From:

abrightboy

We can get into it, but I think it’s important to start by pointing out that… not agreeing with his idea of decorum or his ideas in general… doesn’t make us self-sabotaging. Sometimes people here - especially Wardens - just… aren’t right. And if being principled stands in the way of us getting what we’re after from them, then… I guess we’re not con artists. And I will be the first to admit that I do have problems with emotional dysregulation, but when I snap at someone who doesn’t actually deserve it, I apologize to them. Like I apologized to Archer. We had a good talk after that. I… actually thought we were good.

From:

ukan

I think you are. He didn't say anything that I didn't read as concerned.

He has a point, though. We do need to be able to work with everyone here, wardens and inmates, to do the most good.

Granted there are, and have been, people I wouldn't go out of my way to team up with.

From:

abrightboy

And yet, he brought it up with you. [That means something.]

I agree that we have to work as part of a team and there’s a benefit to working well with people who have different viewpoints, but I’ve had relatively few arguments on the network. I expect I’ve argued with someone he’s close to.

From:

ukan

He's one of my best friends, it's not a stretch to think he'd be more comfortable coming to me than going to you.

How often do you argue?

From:

abrightboy

When my inmate went on a vandalism rampage while you were gone, I argued with Archer, because he wanted me to commit to restricting her access to the dining hall before I completed my investigation and I told him I would take it under advisement but that I wasn’t committing to anything until I knew what actually happened. He kept insisting, I told him it wasn’t a no, I just wasn’t prepared to announce measures yet. I said I wouldn’t let her go anywhere until I did announce measures. He got short with me, I got short with him. I argued with Sebastien when he stuck his nose in and, as a result, with Hakkai. I apologized to all three of them afterwards. Since then, I got in one major argument - publicly, anyway - with Jesus, which is part of a sort of ongoing dispute between us. I did not apologize to him, but I did apologize to Rosita. Also Jedao put glitter in my sock drawer for arguing with Sebastien, but then Neal gave him shit and he came to talk to me about… everything and he ended up apologizing to me. And then even more recently, I got into a private argument with Dr Sheehan, but - like his buddy Jesus - he’s the one that owes me an apology that I’m not holding my breath for. I think that covers it. So… more than some people but also fewer than some people?

From:

ukan

How often do you collaborate with people here?

From:

abrightboy

Well, I work in counselling. Will says my niche is with difficult cases, and I think he’s right. I’ve had some success with Johann and Aaron… and even Kikimora before we were paired. I’ve been working with Shaw and Kiryu. I’m still working on aspects of what started as the Code of Conduct project with Neal and Norton. I’m in Tim’s book club. I recently sat down to bury the hatchet with Lestat. …I’m… what exactly do you count as ‘collaborating’?