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[abrightboy]

This is Bright. Leave a message.

Comments

Re: private;

[ukan]

No, he told me he was concerned you might be. Not that he's sure you are.

And yeah. I think I am. I end up in the same patterns of behavior a lot. I end up fighting with people here, I end up arguing over petty little things.... It's just something I want to examine and I trust you to be objective with me about it.

Re: private;

[abrightboy]

...Oh. I mean. Sure. Can you tell me about the arguments?

Re: private;

[ukan]

He didn't make any. It was only after I thought about it that I thought it might apply.

I get into the same arguments with the same people, over and over. And nothing gets resolved.

Re: private;

[abrightboy]

That's what I meant. Those arguments. Arguments about what?

Re: private;

[ukan]

I've argued about what's best for inmates, what's best for wardens. I've argued about...everything. Every change I want to enact is an argument. Even things that other people have asked for.

Re: private;

[abrightboy]

How is it self-sabotaging to advocate for things you think are right?

Re: private;

[ukan]

I suppose because it might not be the most right decision. There might be better choices. I'll accept that... I just want to know what they are.

Re: private;

[abrightboy]

Well... yeah. That's just... asking questions, isn't it?

Re: private;

[ukan]

It is. But I think it can feel antagonistic. I think it can feel like an attack.

A lot of things we wolves do feels like an attack. We have to find other ways of asking, of going about things.

Re: private;

[abrightboy]

Maybe it has nothing to do with being wolves.

Re: private;

[ukan]

What do you mean?

Re: private;

[abrightboy]

Maybe, in a place like this where everyone is damaged, if any of us cares deeply about anything, there's someone it's going to offend.

Re: private;

[ukan]

I can learn to be okay with offending a few as long as my people are cared for.

Re: private;

[abrightboy]

Does that mean only the wolves?

Re: private;

[ukan]

Mostly yes.

Lately it's been more...complicated. Steve is one of my people. He saw me graduate. I couldn't have done it without him. So he's one of mine.

Re: private;

[abrightboy]

Steve Rogers was your Warden?

Re: private;

[ukan]

No, never. Which is good for us. I didn't respond well to wardens at the end of my stay.

Re: private;

[abrightboy]

Even your own?

Re: private;

[ukan]

Yeah. I manipulated them all. And then they left.

Re: private;

[abrightboy]

That's more self-sabotage than advocating on the network.

Re: private;

[ukan]

Yeah that's...what I'm worried about. The self-sabotage.

Re: private;

[abrightboy]

How did you manipulate them?

Re: private;

[ukan]

I told them what they needed to know, but no more.

Re: private;

[abrightboy]

Do you think that's what made them leave?

Re: private;

[ukan]

I think it was my unwillingness to be flexible that sent them away.

But some things can't be compromised on. It's...tricky.